I will be going to visit my Dad in a day or so and I am a bit anxious about it. I only saw him once this year on my birthday to thank him for some money he had given me as a gift.
This time last year he had finally checked himself into drug rehab to get past his addiction to crack cocaine. Unfortunately shortly after he was released he succumbed and went back to using. Because of the pain his choices have brought my family we had to show him tough love and refuse to be part of his life while he continued to use. It doesn't look like his chances are very good at beating this one.
It occurred to me when I saw him back in September that my Dad does not have much time left, and that's exactly how he wants it. He has withered down to nothing and the drugs have begun to take a toll on him mentally. I am afraid of how our meeting will go. He is angry and believes we have turned our back on him, but we know it's the drugs speaking, as he apologized profusely and genuinely when he was clean for abandoning us. We forgave him for everything and just asked that he start his life fresh and new and live it well for himself to make up for the past. He has too much shame and guilt now to do that and has said he no longer has the will to live.
I have avoided meeting or talking with him because for so long our world was flipped upside down and we finally have some calm and I don't want to lose that again, but the other part of me sees my Dad suffering and sad and I don't want him to go without him knowing he is loved.
I just hope that our visit will be good and peace can be made and if there is any hope left for him that he recognizes it and seeks to get help once more.
If you could, would you say a prayer for him and my two younger sisters and I as we go to visit him? Appreciated as always.
This time last year he had finally checked himself into drug rehab to get past his addiction to crack cocaine. Unfortunately shortly after he was released he succumbed and went back to using. Because of the pain his choices have brought my family we had to show him tough love and refuse to be part of his life while he continued to use. It doesn't look like his chances are very good at beating this one.
It occurred to me when I saw him back in September that my Dad does not have much time left, and that's exactly how he wants it. He has withered down to nothing and the drugs have begun to take a toll on him mentally. I am afraid of how our meeting will go. He is angry and believes we have turned our back on him, but we know it's the drugs speaking, as he apologized profusely and genuinely when he was clean for abandoning us. We forgave him for everything and just asked that he start his life fresh and new and live it well for himself to make up for the past. He has too much shame and guilt now to do that and has said he no longer has the will to live.
I have avoided meeting or talking with him because for so long our world was flipped upside down and we finally have some calm and I don't want to lose that again, but the other part of me sees my Dad suffering and sad and I don't want him to go without him knowing he is loved.
I just hope that our visit will be good and peace can be made and if there is any hope left for him that he recognizes it and seeks to get help once more.
If you could, would you say a prayer for him and my two younger sisters and I as we go to visit him? Appreciated as always.
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