I wonder...

[Neverisa]

Sometimes, I wonder if something happened to me when I was younger that I dont remember.
My reaction to people, especially men, trying to touch me is not normal. I flinch and move away before they can.
It doesnt matter who it is. Once my uncle moved to put is had on my shoulder, and I flinched so hard, he was taken aback.

My trust of people is at nil. I dont feel like anyone knows how truly difficult it is for me to trust anyone. I have been asked more than once if I was raped or something because of how hard it is for me to trust someone.

Then a few weeks ago my aunt was talking to me, and she told me that she was abused as a child, and she was so expectant of me. It was almost like, it's ok- you can tell me.
What in the world?

Am I crazy? Am I just an incredibly neurotic person?
I dont know what to think. This ivisible sheild affects all of my relationships. I dont know what to do.

 

[Tubachick]

I know what you mean. Ive been wondering the same thing myself. My fathers dad sexually abused my aunt for 4 years and he physically abused my dad, my grandma, and my other aunt. They (him and grandma)got a divorce after i was born but i dont remember must about my past so i dont remember ever meeting him or being around him but im not sure... and my dad used to be physically abusive towards me but he has gotten help for that and is a nice man now. But i dont know.... I really dont remember anything past my 9th birthday... Im so confused... Anybody have any advice for us?...

 

[Tubachick]

Neverisa, I dont think anybody has any advice... but im praying for you!

 

[dousmile4jesus]

I think it is definately a possibility that you have both blocked out sexual abuse. Often, sexually abued people unconsiously block out the past because it is too harmful. However, don't jump to conclusions. I would suggest seeking out a counselor to help you talk through these feelings. Sometimes, we can be affected by a movie, a touch of someone, a look, or even a dream that gives us irrational beliefs. Perhaps your inability to trust is from some abuse. Perhaps it's not. Has someone you love let you down repetedly? Do you feel like people are always stabbing you in the back? These things tend to cause trust issues. Also, people who have seen abuse of any kind in their home (dad to mom, grandparents, etc) may have trust issues as well as touch issues. But seriously, find someone who can help you: a school counselor, a psychiatrist, some pastors; someone you trust and has training. Hope this helps!

 

[Tubachick]

Thanks Dousmile

 

[Jenafer]

Sometimes, I wonder if something happened to me when I was younger that I dont remember.
My reaction to people, especially men, trying to touch me is not normal. I flinch and move away before they can.
It doesnt matter who it is. Once my uncle moved to put is had on my shoulder, and I flinched so hard, he was taken aback.

My trust of people is at nil. I dont feel like anyone knows how truly difficult it is for me to trust anyone. I have been asked more than once if I was raped or something because of how hard it is for me to trust someone.

Then a few weeks ago my aunt was talking to me, and she told me that she was abused as a child, and she was so expectant of me. It was almost like, it's ok- you can tell me.
What in the world?

Am I crazy? Am I just an incredibly neurotic person?
I dont know what to think. This ivisible sheild affects all of my relationships. I dont know what to do.

Hello,

I would say to you.. if you can't consciously remember being sexually abused, then it didn't happen. Of course you might of been too young to remember something happening. But beware therapists planting false memories into your mind..

Some folk just seem to need a lot of personal space..

 

[kerrylee]

I think it is important for you to speak to someone you can trust, perhaps your Aunt- maybe she knows something?
Because this is affecting your relationships, its important to seek help!!
God bless!!

 

[Rosebaronet]

You should ask the Lord for guidence, it could have been something truamatic (not necessarily abuse or molestation) happened in childhood, eg, a bad horror movie. Try not to be overtly suspicious, a trustworthy man will come along.