I wish....

[Living for Him]

Monday a very dear lady died. She was a most awesome person, and she left behind two young sons, and a husband, both of her parents, siblings, and so many friends.She was 44 years old.Her name was Erin. She was quick to smile and sure to laugh, and if you needed her,she was there.No questions asked.

Every day I find myself wishing for things, sometimes without even really thinking. Selfish things, and at 3:30 a.m last night, I lay in my bed and I wept. For all of the things that I so selfishly had longed for,I felt so ashamed. What I wonder, if I could ask Erin, would she wish for?

One more hug?One more laugh from her boys?

One more look at the clouds?One more date with her husband?

One more walk with her mom? One more swing on the porch swing with her dad?

One more service at church? One more song to sing?

One more disagreement with her husband? One more time to make-up?

One more rainstorm? One more sunny day?

One more"mommy I'm scared ,can I climb in with you?"

In loving memory of Erin Ellen Stanley Vickers. May the love that she gave so fully and freely, live on in each of us forever.

All of my selfish wants have been made so clear to me, and I pray that I and each of us, learn to live for today, count our blessings, and love each moment that we are given.

 

Please pray for John Vickers, and sons, John Jr.and Will.

Thankyou, Lori

 

 

[Gerry]

I just did, and I included you!

 

[Blynn]

I am praying for Erin's family. I will pray for you too Lori.


God bless you
Roberta

 

[Sharky]

Keeping you and her family in my prayers.
God Bless .

 

[GraftMeIn]

Saying a prayer for you and her family

 

[simplicity]

I will pray for the entire family, Lori. And, gentle soul, my prayers go out to you also.

 

[Living for Him]

Thankyou all for your prayers. I'm not really sure why this is effecting me the way that it is. I can not stop crying! Everything I see, everything I feel, everytime I hug one of my babies, my thoughts go to her. I feel so unsettled for her .I can't explain it.There is no reason.It just is. She had to leave her babies behind. I just don't understand. And I know it happens every day!

Less then 4 months ago, she walked into the hospital with a headache. A headache. They found cancer,thoughout her entire body.Head, lungs, lymphnodes,there was nothing anybody could do. Except to pray, and I have done my share. I am just having a hard time accepting that it was Gods will. I'm having a hard time not questioning that will.Even though I know in my heart it is perfect.

Thanks again for your prayers.

Lori

 

[Living for Him]

And how do I tell my kids to pray for something, and tell them that if they believe, God will answer their prayers! When they have been on their knees every night, praying for Erin! I'm just at a huge loss right now...I feel in some way I have failed! Where? I don't know? How could I have changed anything? THERE IS NO WAY! I just don't know.I don't have the explanation that they need or want to hear. And how can I expect them to understand when I don't?

 

 

[E-beth]

When my brother-in-law died of a brain tumor, my sister had those same thoughts about her little girl and just what exactly God was trying to say.

A Pastor told her that God DID answer her prayers. She asked that her Dad would be healed, and for a Christian, death is the ultimate in healing. Her dad has no more pain and is with Jesus forever. Of course that really doesn't give a whole lot of comfort to those left behind at first.

I am praying for you, your family, and your friends family. It is very sad when kids lose a parent especially. Makes me wanna go hug my baby just cause I can.

 

[forjesus]

Its because of your loving heart that you feel the way you do. I will keep this family in my prayers. I thank you for your post, it really opens my eyes to what is important here on this earth. May God Bless you, and this family, I pray for their strenght, and comfort. God Bless

 

[Aussie_Tash]

yes i am praying too Lori. You know this past 2 weeks i am more aware of the people i love and what they mean to me, i read so much sad stuff that happens in this world and think what would my family be like if i were to die suddenly, i do get scared of that, but i know i shouldn't , but life is so precious to me now, i just took it for granted, i now want to live for Jesus so much more than before.

 

[Living for Him]

You're right. Everything you all have said has been right. E-beth, that is a good way to try to explain it to my Emily and my Nathan. I will try that. Just I guess pray that my children hear what I'm saying, and that I believe what I am saying!

Godbless you guys, all of you!

Lori

 

[allieisme]

Yes that's what I've always believed in Prayer, just because you ask God's hands at healing or whatever it is that your praying for, he answers it, just not always the way YOU want it to go.
Maybe Erin was just in so much pain on the inside, and God finally wanted her home, I dont know, it is very sad, and I will pray for her family.
Lori, you are such a blessing, it was a powerful message that you sent with this story and I thank you for that!
God Bless YOU!

 

[fieldmouse3]

What a sad story; it really opened my eyes and made me want to reevaluate the things I'm making my top priorities. Thanks for posting!