I want to tear myself into two

[mauriceng]

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[MixtNick]

It's is so good to have honest people who are not afriad to tell it how it is in their lives. I too hate this life, I am currently going through this emotional journey of turning my life around. I have desires, I have problems controlling my lust at times. Weekends are normally harder than weekdays to contain my desires.
One thing I know out of all this is that God is able to deliver. Each day I cry out to him, and each day I know he is there strenthening me.
When the situation between the Pastor and myself came out, people hated me, church people are the worst... notice I said church and not Godly, Godly people will support you. It was the unsaved that stood by me. All I know is that if it wasn't for the grace of God I wouldn't be here. I am currently doing the setting the captives free course which I have found helpful. It's rare to find anyone who truly understands the depth of your problems. The walk to being set free is at alot of the times a lonley one, times you will feel like giving up and turning around. All I do is fill myself with the word, worship songs and TD Jakes preaching!!!
Hold on brother, GOD IS ABLE. God sees your honest and sincere heart. That's a great start. I will pray for youand will be here to help you as I know like others on this site you will be here for me. Strength comes in numbers and as I put on my thread, the devil needs to be stamped on. God bless ya.

 

[Johnnz]

Unfortunately there are not too many churches than can help people such as you. That makes your Christian life so very hard. I wish I could offer something more positive.

John
NZ

 

[mauriceng]

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[Zaac]

I have two best friends that stood by me. The girl still know it's a sin to be gay but she still supports me in my life and even don't mind when I was looking for a boyfriend. The guy (best friend) is my neighbour and we are gym, movie, tv buddies.

Hey there. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's a sin to be gay. Biblically that's no more true than it's a sin to be straight.

The sin is the acts that are committed, be you gay or straight, that God has said for us not to engage.

But in regards to the boyfriend, let me be frank. There comes a time in the life of every Christian where a decision has to be made. Is it more important to you to seemingly be happy and give up your Christian testimony by pursuing a same-sex relationship that could lead to disobedience to Christ? Or is it more important to you, above ALL else, to be pleasing to Christ?

Is this relationship something you are still pursuing?

I had wanted to change, but I know change requires support, talking, and talking with God. I don't want to a be a self righteous jerk, who proclaims he turned straight but a few months later you find him hand in hand with a man. Defeating homosexuality is a long, difficult, and emotional path, and I want to go through it.

True Christians are rare and far between. I know God told us not to disacknowlodge our faith to Him, but I am sick and tired of ungodly sinful people proudly calling themselves Christians when they are no different than me.

One side wants to try again to find faith among the ones who really care and love God. But I'm afraid I would become a sinful, self righteous bastard.

It's not self-righteous to acknowledge in your life that which God has already given as the way He would have His people to go. As for the sin, you're gonna be sinful until Christ returns.

One side wants to find my desires in men, and destroy the all resistance to the homosexual lifestyle.

Please give me advice

That's the pul of the flesh. And it's easy to give in to the flesh. But you're indwelled by the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ has ALREADY defeated sin and death. Homosexual acts are sin also. Live in the victory that Jesus Christ already has finished.

 

[Zaac]

Unfortunately there are not too many churches than can help people such as you. That makes your Christian life so very hard. I wish I could offer something more positive.

John
NZ

John, I disagree. There are plenty of Christ-loving churches out there who will love our Brothers and Sisters in Christ because we love Christ.

Are we to give approval of unGodly behavior? Nope. We acknowledge sin as sin. But that's something that has to be happening from both sides.

A Christ loving church will tell you that we want each and every Christian to live a life that gives them all that Christ has prepared for them. But we are not to affirm that which runs counter to His Word.

A lot of times people take this the wrong way, or its perceived as the church being unloving. Now I will be the first to tell you that the church has got to be more consistent in taking a stand against ALL sin and treating all sin in the same manner as it does the sin of committing homosexual acts.

But there are indeed churches out there who simply love Christ and would have no problem loving up on a brother or sister who is struggling with sin just like every other Christian.

 

[BelindaP]

There are some who, after conquering an especially difficult sin, become self-righteous. The truth is that they have switched one sin for another. It is more likely that having conquered your particular sin, you will remain humble and grateful to God for all you have.

Do not fear what you will become if you conquer this sin. Leave that in God's hands. He will take care of you.

If members of your church are being unkind to you over this, then you should find a new church. Homosexual sin is no different from any other in God's eyes. I struggle with the sin of overeating, and my sin is largely overlooked by the large majority of people. It shouldn't be, because it is just as damaging to my body and soul as your sin.

The thing that you need to do is to find an accountability partner, somebody who will encourage you to keep on the right path and also understand when you fail.

Also, you are young, and it is common to be mixed up about your sexual feelings. It may be that you are not really gay and are just confused. If these feelings have only come up since puberty, then that is likely.

Even if you find that you can never get rid of the feelings, take it as God calling you to a life of celibacy. There is much merit in that lifestyle, and you can avoid a lot of the irritations that we married folks go through. Believe me, sex becomes much less of an issue as you get older anyhow.

 

[mauriceng]

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[BelindaP]

You may be able to find an accountability partner here or elsewhere on line.

 

[lavenderskies]

My only advice is prayer. God can get you through anything no matter how difficult it is. I am praying for you.

 

[Zaac]

Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it

Zaac,
The sin is not in the inclination, but in the act itself. I understand that. I lost a good friend of 2 years when i told him I liked him. I not in a hurry to fall in love, but when you are alone, without the company of church friends nor the courage to talk to God, it can feel really lonely at times.

A lot of times that is the response that you get from people who have struggled with the same thing. I'm not saying that your friend struggled with same sex attractions, but there is the possibility. And when someone says what you said, there is an inclination to get away from that which you also struggled with in the past so as not to fall back into it.

Offer him the same grace as Jesus Christ offers us. If he is truly meant to be in your life and be a FRIEND, God will place him back in your life.

But men who have struggled with same-sex attractions have to learn how to express healthy male-male friendship desires, and it has to be presented to the other male as simply a Godly friendship.

Now I refuse to comment on the out-of-orderness of the pastor thing which may explain a lot of other stuff.

 

[koban4max]

Be yourself. I know God understands you and will help your problem. Pray to GOD.

 

[UnitynLove]

If you want to change ask God to change you and stop "Trying" humble yourself and say "Lord I trust you, do as you will. I am done with trying to fix myself, I trust in you to do it for me."

 

[tapero]

Hi, Please note that no debating is allowed in Recovery and also please focus on support in replies. Thanks.​

 

[Lost_and_astray]

I would really recommend the Door of Hope course at:

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/

I too am gay and I am currently going through this course, but you must be really commited to finish the full 60 days. If you do I'm sure it will help you alot.

Praying for you.

 

[mauriceng]

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