I want to marry a non-Christian.

[Jenniewren]

I would like to add that just because many people who are UY feel they did the wrong thing does not mean they are wallowing in guilt. God can turn any situation to his advantage. Whether you are a Christian who marries a non believer or a person who becomes saved after marraige the reality is life has hurdles we have to face.
Thanks to everyone who has supported me these past few months. x x x x

 

[free4all]

Unnecessary guilt is real burden as far as I can see.

I am not saying that it's OK for a Christian to marry a non Christian.

I won't automatically judge a Christian in a mixed marriage, even though my preference is for Christian marriages.

My wife and i are well known for our compassion, wisdom and Christian commitment.

Good on all counts.

Whatever else I could say I want to affirm as strongly as I can that a person married to a non Christian is not thereby out of God's will,

Depends on if they specifically disobeyed God's leading or not when marrying the non-Christian.

destined to a second best

Depending on how actively the mate rejects God and lives for self, one's life can be incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching. Of course, one who follows Christ at the time of marriage can also turn away and cause havoc in their mate's life, but I still think it's a better choice to marry a Christian.

and is merely reaping what was sown.

We all reap what we sow, whether good or bad.

Each person can discover a wonderful reality of Jesus with them in their situation.

I agree.

Bless you all
John

NZ

Thank you.

 

[AbidingInHim]

I posted as I have because my wife and I over the years have known many Christians married to non Christians. We have also known, and attended the weddings of a Christian who has chosen to marry a non Christian. We are well aware of the many issues such people face, and the anguish some have experienced. Some of them have struggled with the guilt that they have married a non Christian. Some have been rejected by the church for doing so. And I have seen some mixed marriages work better than some Christian marriages.

I make my contributions regarding the unequally yoked verse for two reasons. Firstly, as someone who works hard at understanding Scripture I prefer any exegesis to be accurate. I see the 'unequally yoked' verse as being taken out of a context that contained no reference to marriage. That same verse has been applied to unionism, business partnerships, and membership of societies in my time. Few teach that now because the context just does not support those applications

Secondly, where there are Christians struggling with a mixed marriage that verse has often led to a pervading sense of guilt, of having missed "God's best" for them. That is a very heavy burden indeed.

I am not encouraging the practice. I just don't want people suffering an unnecessary burden of false guilt or condemnation.

John
NZ

You don't believe going to a marriage where a believer is becoming unequally yoked is not supporting and encouraging the practice?

 

[Johnnz]

You don't believe going to a marriage where a believer is becoming unequally yoked is not supporting and encouraging the practice?

Nope. I am supporting them as a person, just as God does, and Jesus taught in the story of the prodigal son. God's love transends our wrong choices - THANKFULLY.

When things go wrong a person will come to us knowing our love for them. We can still influence thier lives for God. Without that support they may well never have come. Plus, I have attended Christian marriages where I had real doubts which were later justified.

If only we all could make the right decisons all the time.

John
NZ

 

[Pepperoni]

You don't believe going to a marriage where a believer is becoming unequally yoked is not supporting and encouraging the practice?

This is an excellent point.

My pastor has told me he would not have married my husband and I. Yet he would have if we were both unbelievers. I found that strange. He said that two unbelievers have the right to get married just as much as anyone else, just as much as two believers in fact. The only thing he won't do is unequally yoked.

And if he has occasion during a message to caution the young ladies against falling in love with unbelievers, I always feel as if he's looking right at me! :o

 

[cory533]

You don't believe going to a marriage where a believer is becoming unequally yoked is not supporting and encouraging the practice?

I would go without a second thought I can give advice not force decisions on my freinds. Bailing on them when we disagree would in my opinion be Un Christian.
Cory

 

[AbidingInHim]

Nope. I am supporting them as a person, just as God does, and Jesus taught in the story of the prodigal son. God's love transends our wrong choices - THANKFULLY.

When things go wrong a person will come to us knowing our love for them. We can still influence thier lives for God. Without that support they may well never have come. Plus, I have attended Christian marriages where I had real doubts which were later justified.

If only we all could make the right decisons all the time.

John
NZ

God does not support "bad choices" or rather sinnful acts he loves us and accepts us when we are repentful. God hates sin and disobeying His Word is sin. I could never let somebody I cared about enough to go to their wedding let them marry without telling them, in love, with the Word, my concerns for them as a friend. I would lovingly tell them how much they mean to me and because of that I can not attend their wedding. If they chose to close the door on me that is thier choice, but I would not have anything to answer to my Lord about in the end!! We are told to use His Word as our sword and speak it in love and gentleness. We are not told however to encourage people to continue in thier sin. Example would Jesus in the temple. We are told that when we do speak the truth we will be hated and persecuted for His names sake so if my friend he or she ends our relationship over my dcision not to go to thier wedding I would be sorry for the loss but not my decision to stand firm in what I believe!

 

[AbidingInHim]

This is an excellent point.

My pastor has told me he would not have married my husband and I. Yet he would have if we were both unbelievers. I found that strange. He said that two unbelievers have the right to get married just as much as anyone else, just as much as two believers in fact. The only thing he won't do is unequally yoked.

And if he has occasion during a message to caution the young ladies against falling in love with unbelievers, I always feel as if he's looking right at me! :o

Hey Pepperoni I agree!!

 

[cory533]

My pastor has told me he would not have married my husband and I. Yet he would have if we were both unbelievers. I found that strange. He said that two unbelievers have the right to get married just as much as anyone else, just as much as two believers in fact. The only thing he won't do is unequally yoked.

while as an individual I would attend the wedding. In your pastors position I agree completely He has the obligation not to marry any couple he does not believe should marry either for theological reasons or because of an undue risk of failure. As I would have to pray long and hard before being an active participant in any such wedding.
However in my opinion refusing to participate in the wedding is not the same necessarily as refusing to attend. In refusing to even attend you are judging that person and creating a rift between them and yourself and possibly between them and God. You become the "judgemental Christian" that they use as an excuse for not turning to God.
Jesus Found he could Eat with sinners , prostitutes and even tax collectors without endorsing their behavior. In so doing he left the door open for when the time was right.
In all fairness let me admit my position that UY marriage is a bad idea not necessarily sin. That view will skew my opinion.

Peace in Christ,
Cory

 

[dayknee]

Ive been married 16 years..separated for 2 months..I am saved, my husband isnt..I wish i had an hour to write all the things wrong with our marriage because i chose at 19 to marry a non believer..some days i feel im being punished...we are very close to divorce, however he doesnt want one..Im struggling with the "i hate divorce" verse atm..Marrying a non believer is a huge mistake..HUGE..you will never be one spiritually and you will never be able to have him lead your home and family in that direction..the burden will be upon you to take on that role for your children..its not an easy one to take on..I know first hand..yes my husband has gone to church with us..but it's more than that..he needs to be saved in order for us to have the marriage that the Lord intended it to be..it will never happen otherwise..I feel the pain of anyone who loves someone in this situation.

 

[cory533]

Ive been married 16 years..separated for 2 months..I am saved, my husband isnt..I wish i had an hour to write all the things wrong with our marriage because i chose at 19 to marry a non believer..some days i feel im being punished...we are very close to divorce, however he doesnt want one..Im struggling with the "i hate divorce" verse atm..Marrying a non believer is a huge mistake..HUGE..you will never be one spiritually and you will never be able to have him lead your home and family in that direction..the burden will be upon you to take on that role for your children..its not an easy one to take on..I know first hand..yes my husband has gone to church with us..but it's more than that..he needs to be saved in order for us to have the marriage that the Lord intended it to be..it will never happen otherwise..I feel the pain of anyone who loves someone in this situation

.

Well said. I will pray for your situation.
Cory