I want to believe

[starelda]

Hello again.

First things first, a little background for those that haven't bumped into me before. I'm an ex-Christian...I've basically believed in God all my life and became Christian at the age of 11. I drifted into paganism during my teens but returned to Christianity a few years ago. However last year was one long tug-o-war between belief and lack of belief. I had various doubts, hit various problems and lost faith. I kept finding myself feeling pulled back, often because of a major problem occuring and me then needing the comfort belief in God brought me. Anyway, I vented about this tug-o-war before.

I thought that I'd now settled on unbelief but now I find myself *again* feeling pulled towards Christianity. This time there's no major problems...nor was there last time when I felt this way either, which was just before Christmas. I find myself wanting to pray about various things...such as upcoming exams, the health of my family, etc but each time I hold back from doing so. I find myself missing the connection to God that I used to feel. I essentially find that I want to believe...I just don't know if I can but at the same time I don't know if I can not believe either. I ran across this in another thread in the questions by non-Christians forum. Someone said that they believed in God because they can't not believe...they'd tried and it didn't work. Maybe I'm finding the same...that no matter how hard believing is, I can't not believe. Hmm...

Yeah, anyway...I guess this is another vent from me.

 

[Abiel]

God has you in the palm of His hand. All will be well. And just to make it a hat-trick of platitudes- 'let go and let God'!

 

[Abiel]

It seems to me that logically the one thing you can't be is an atheist. God is poking you the whole time. Just open yourself up to the possibility.

 

[aldar]

i think this is something only time and experience can decide for you. you will always have thoughts that are slightly immature, hopeful, fearful, that are just based on fleeting feelings of nostalgia, fear, wishfulness...and not reality or maturity.

you have to decide for yourself what it is you will do with your life. just try to find what is you really believe, search as long as you want to or feel you need to, but you may never come to any real dazzling resolution, life isnt always so dramatic or fancy, you may just end up having to make a hard decision over what seems "best" or "most" reasonable to you and what you can live with. you may be left where you are...wanting answers and having none, and you have to answer it yourself.
i had a hard time with that before. its not an easy thing to do, but theres only a limited amount of help you can get with it becuase there your own feelings. maybe give it more time... that changes alot, certain things that are based on emotions alone change over time. i often have feelings..based on memories, nostalgia, etc, a drawing back or a kind of (hey wouldnt that be nice to have again...) but i cant, things have changed, and i have to just go on with what actually is real and works. just know that often feelings can be based on memories, and just becuase a certain feeling from the past arises, it doesnt mean you should go back, it just means you use to feel that way. it doesnt mean you need to go back.
goodluck with it. take your time and do what you think is right for your life your future.

 

[Annoula]

there are periods in our lives that we have problems and these problems make us want to connect to something stronger than us.
this is a natural phenomenon but it may show spiritual immaturity (if i may call it that way).


there are also times that with no serious problems in our lives we have the need to connect to something bigger and stronger than us. i think that these are the true moments when our souls are seeking for our Creator.

little by little these moments may become hours and days and weeks and years. this is when we seek God just because ... we seek Him.

and we seek Him because He exists.


good luck. may you have peace in mind and soul.

 

[RealDeal]

Hello again.

First things first, a little background for those that haven't bumped into me before. I'm an ex-Christian...I've basically believed in God all my life and became Christian at the age of 11. I drifted into paganism during my teens but returned to Christianity a few years ago. However last year was one long tug-o-war between belief and lack of belief. I had various doubts, hit various problems and lost faith. I kept finding myself feeling pulled back, often because of a major problem occuring and me then needing the comfort belief in God brought me. Anyway, I vented about this tug-o-war before.

I thought that I'd now settled on unbelief but now I find myself *again* feeling pulled towards Christianity. This time there's no major problems...nor was there last time when I felt this way either, which was just before Christmas. I find myself wanting to pray about various things...such as upcoming exams, the health of my family, etc but each time I hold back from doing so. I find myself missing the connection to God that I used to feel. I essentially find that I want to believe...I just don't know if I can but at the same time I don't know if I can not believe either. I ran across this in another thread in the questions by non-Christians forum. Someone said that they believed in God because they can't not believe...they'd tried and it didn't work. Maybe I'm finding the same...that no matter how hard believing is, I can't not believe. Hmm...

Yeah, anyway...I guess this is another vent from me.

I read your other opposite struggle when I joined these forums and found that it was similar of mine, and typical of most new atheists. I was glad to read how you had come to terms with this and seemed happier for it.

I myself sometimes feel the same late at night, or when I've problems in my life. Let me tell you though, it's not you 'seeking God' or vice-versa. Think of it like giving up cigarettes. You may quit the habit, but due to our psychological nature you'd want one now and again for the rest of your life. The question is, are you going to go back on them?

You made a brave decision to become an atheist. No one said it would be easy. As an atheist, you're a rational human being, capable of looking at the true meaning of things without a religious cloud over it. The truth, in my opinion of course, is that yes, you miss the comfort of the idea of god, but that is all. There's no 'force' pulling you back as some others will tell you. It's a psychological longing that could be applied to many things in life. Don't let it beat you.

 

[ozmum]

Abandon yourself to God!!!

Just surrender to Him .

 

[InnocentOdion]

Glad you're feeling a pull back again. God works in mysterious, subtle ways, He is patient and understanding. The fact you're feeling another tug so close to the time of the previous one is a sign from Him that He wants you to be believe-- but in your own time.

If you ever cast any kinds of spells, I'd ask someone to pray for you first: I had some right nasties following me about when I was younger. If something is holding you back I'd take it as a sign you need someone to pray with you, or for you. Try going to a church, or talking with a Christian friend (or even a stranger in the church who you just generally end up trusting, you know? This was one of the best ways for me!), or talking to a priest about how you feel.

Doubt is like (metaphorically speaking) a tree, and faith like the sunlight [if there was no night. I suck at comparisons, ignore me]: The seeds of doubt can grow larger and larger, and eventually attempt to block out the rays of faith, but faith can shine so bright that the doubt can't block it, and doubt can wither, but faith will shine bright.

If we look at the beauty of the world, surely we can see there there is a Creator, and that Creator is certainly quite an artist! There's just too much beauty and perfection in the world, from the birth of a baby or butterfly, to the mating dance of a peacock, to be a random thing which 'just happened'.

If you become too hesitant about wanting to belive, instead of humbling yourself before God and being willing to admit you've buggered up in life and asking for His guidance, God may choose to let you wait a while: if you spend more time hesitating, you're not ready for Him again yet. If you think you are, then by all means, walk in His footsteps and love!

God bless,
IO

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Be sincere in wanting to find your path in life. Lot religions out there, and a warm study wouldn't hurt. Just start reading the bible from old testimate to new. Be sincere in your studies, if you don't understand part of the bible or things going on in the church, ask. Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions too, for I think god want honous questioning rather than blind folded faith. If you do take the path of salvation, then that questioning will fortify your sincere belief.

Anycase good luck to you!

 

[heron]

Be sincere in wanting to find your path in life. Lot religions out there, and a warm study wouldn't hurt. Just start reading the bible from old testimate to new. Be sincere in your studies, if you don't understand part of the bible or things going on in the church, ask. Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions too, for I think god want honous questioning rather than blind folded faith. If you do take the path of salvation, then that questioning will fortify your sincere belief.

Oh, yes.

Many people I know had a point at least a year into their Christian life where they couldn't feel what they'd felt before. After seeing this happen so many times, I am convinced it is sort of a training ground to trust Him no matter how we feel.

Notice other factors in your life that make feelings go up and down -- school stresses, mourning losses, hormones, sickness. We need to establish a strength within ourselves that we will not let our emotions send us in all directions.

We need to trust His promises, and decide to believe what He says whether the evidence is there or not. What helps me, is reading scriptures that tell what His stance is. Those promise books they sell in the dollar stores are great -- you can keep one in the car and flip it open a few times a day for a quick spurt of encouragement.

Faith is something that's hard to muster and lean on all by yourself. God knows that. Faith comes by hearing... hearing the Word of the Lord. We can go up and down our whole lives, but knowing His love for us engrained in our hearts... and remembering things He has done for us... those hold us together in the low times.

 

[GhostKid]

I must tell you I happy that you have had your own free thought in your life because God did give us logic and reason and He trusted us with free will.

Honestly, I believe God made me Atheist for 16 years of my life so that why I could learn to fend for myself because I have CP and I think God wanted me to learn to deal with that because He gave me it because He knew I could handle it.

I dont think He wanted me turning on Him and growing to hate Him as I would have had I believed He existed during the early portion of my life. By letting me grow on my own into a productive member of society and allowing me to accept my CP. He was able to assure that I wouldnt blame Him and have a hatred for Him.

But in my teens the Holy Spirit made small moves on me to let me know God was there and He was watching me grow, this cause me to act in good moral standard and not go down a rebelious path.

This caused in me being Agnostic but a little later in my teens the Holy Spirit made a move on me and let me know again that God was there and he was waiting for me to get ready to turn over to him, he opened his arms to embrace me instead of walking alongside me as he had before.

And recently the Holy Spirit moved me to go to Church and I did. There within His house God convereged on me with a power that I had yet to experince. Every word the pastor said went straight to my heart and 1 week later I accepted Christ and I am glad to have done because God is Awesome and I am glad to be a witness for him.

May God Bless You,
Zack

 

[ephraimanesti]

MY SISTER,

there are periods in our lives that we have problems and these problems make us want to connect to something stronger than us.
this is a natural phenomenon but it may show spiritual immaturity (if i may call it that way).

there are also times that with no serious problems in our lives we have the need to connect to something bigger and stronger than us. i think that these are the true moments when our souls are seeking for our Creator.

little by little these moments may become hours and days and weeks and years. this is when we seek God just because ... we seek Him.

and we seek Him because He exists.

good luck. may you have peace in mind and soul.

VERY WELL SAID!
That's it in a nutshell!

IN CHRIST,
ephraim
​

 

[DArceri]

PROVERBS 3:5,6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

 

[ANM29]

Your in a spiritual tug of war. God drawing you to himself, and the devil trying to keep you blinded to the love of God.

Your first step is to surrender. You must come to God in the name of Jesus Christ his son. You must surrender to the finished work of Jesus. Ask Christ to come into your heart and he will. He is waiting, the door will be opened when you knock. You will find him when you seek him. He is not playing hide and seek, he is right there waiting for you.

He loves you, surrender to him and you will not be disappointed.

 

[ANM29]

Oh, yes.

Many people I know had a point at least a year into their Christian life where they couldn't feel what they'd felt before. After seeing this happen so many times, I am convinced it is sort of a training ground to trust Him no matter how we feel.

Notice other factors in your life that make feelings go up and down -- school stresses, mourning losses, hormones, sickness. We need to establish a strength within ourselves that we will not let our emotions send us in all directions.

We need to trust His promises, and decide to believe what He says whether the evidence is there or not. What helps me, is reading scriptures that tell what His stance is. Those promise books they sell in the dollar stores are great -- you can keep one in the car and flip it open a few times a day for a quick spurt of encouragement.

Faith is something that's hard to muster and lean on all by yourself. God knows that. Faith comes by hearing... hearing the Word of the Lord. We can go up and down our whole lives, but knowing His love for us engrained in our hearts... and remembering things He has done for us... those hold us together in the low times.

Amen. This is not about feelings. Our feelings and emotions are up and down all the time. You have to know that you know the Lord even if you don't feel it. God does test us this way. He does not want us depending on shallow emotions, but only on him. This is a faith walk, a journey. A lot of times we feel as if we have been abandoned in the wilderness alone, and at times we are in the desert alone with just him. We must learn to depend only on him, and times he will leave us in places where it seems we can't find even him. But, he is there. We can't grow and mature in our faith and walk if we are always on the moutain top. The test is in the valley. He comes along and gives us rest and let us lay beside the still waters, but then as Psalm 23 says..he leads us through valleys where we think we are going to die..but, he is with us.

You come out learning more about God and able to help someone else. You come out with wisdom you could not gain from the mountain top. You come out closer to God and more in love with him and even people.

God is so faithful..My God is faithful

 

[salida]

Stare--

It sounds like the world is confusing you. Please don't let it. I turned my life over to Christ for a couple reasons first is a spiritual one and second is an intellectual one. Everything points to christianity concerning facts and evidence. Why? Because the Bible is. Other religions don't remotely compare to it. Read Examine the Evidence by Muncaster (an athiest who converted to christianity). And A Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (an athiest but now a christian).

After you turned to Christ, did you ask for the Holy Spirit? Without it - one can't truly live a christian life because you won't have the power of God to help you. We were manufactured to carry the Holy Spirit in our vessel of clay and to worship God. Without this we are walking around trying to fill up our lives with the wrong things and not ever being truly satisfied.

 

[heron]

There are some great sites online that make Bible reading a lot easier. I use studylight.org, and biblegateway.com when their server goes out (which is incredibly rare). They have daily readings, articles, and all sorts of ways to approach learning.



InnocentOdion, you're showin' some leg these days!

 

[TheGuide]

Hello again.

First things first, a little background for those that haven't bumped into me before. I'm an ex-Christian...I've basically believed in God all my life and became Christian at the age of 11. I drifted into paganism during my teens but returned to Christianity a few years ago. However last year was one long tug-o-war between belief and lack of belief. I had various doubts, hit various problems and lost faith. I kept finding myself feeling pulled back, often because of a major problem occuring and me then needing the comfort belief in God brought me. Anyway, I vented about this tug-o-war before.

I thought that I'd now settled on unbelief but now I find myself *again* feeling pulled towards Christianity. This time there's no major problems...nor was there last time when I felt this way either, which was just before Christmas. I find myself wanting to pray about various things...such as upcoming exams, the health of my family, etc but each time I hold back from doing so. I find myself missing the connection to God that I used to feel. I essentially find that I want to believe...I just don't know if I can but at the same time I don't know if I can not believe either. I ran across this in another thread in the questions by non-Christians forum. Someone said that they believed in God because they can't not believe...they'd tried and it didn't work. Maybe I'm finding the same...that no matter how hard believing is, I can't not believe. Hmm...

Yeah, anyway...I guess this is another vent from me.

My sister called me this morning. She said she had spoken to a man who believed that people who are good and do good things will go to heaven. She said she quoted to him the following scriptures:

"For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God, and if it first begins at us, what shall the end be of them that do not obey the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?" I Peter 4:17-18

I strongly recommend that you find a Bible teaching ministry that will facilitate you building a true relationship with Jesus. I believe that you would never have fallen away if you had been properly instructed in the things of God.

God bless you,

The Guide

 

[TheSource]

Dear Friend,

I come from a non-Christain family and know what it is to be seeking God. Thank goodness Jesus came into my life when I was 14 years old. I recommend that you read the Bible everyday, starting with the Gospel of John.

Do you believe that Jesus was God in human form? The Bible says "I am the Father are One" in John 10:30. In John 14:6 Jesus said "I and the way, the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me." In John 14:9 Jesus says "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father."

In order to have a personal relationship with God, we must be born again (see John 3:3). To become born again you must youself on God's mercy and ask Him to forgive you for your sins. Lack of faith is sin. Then ask him to come into your life and take over your life. If you really mean it Jesus will come into your life and your faith will be strenghtened. Please read Hebrews 11:6 "Without faith it is impossible to please God."

Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that there is a God and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him. Also, please read Ephesians 2:8-9 "By grace are you saved through faith and that not of yourself, it is a gift from God not of works, lest any man shall boast." What this means is that you are saved by God's love which you do not deserve, and He has to give you even the faith to believe. Believing in Christ is a free gift from God and anyone can receive it. But if you say "no" to the Lord, then you will not receive it.

To summarize, ask the Lord to come into your life and if you really mean it, He will.

God bless you,

The Source

 

[DArceri]

Hello again.

First things first, a little background for those that haven't bumped into me before. I'm an ex-Christian...I've basically believed in God all my life and became Christian at the age of 11. I drifted into paganism during my teens but returned to Christianity a few years ago. However last year was one long tug-o-war between belief and lack of belief. I had various doubts, hit various problems and lost faith. I kept finding myself feeling pulled back, often because of a major problem occuring and me then needing the comfort belief in God brought me. Anyway, I vented about this tug-o-war before.

I thought that I'd now settled on unbelief but now I find myself *again* feeling pulled towards Christianity. This time there's no major problems...nor was there last time when I felt this way either, which was just before Christmas. I find myself wanting to pray about various things...such as upcoming exams, the health of my family, etc but each time I hold back from doing so. I find myself missing the connection to God that I used to feel. I essentially find that I want to believe...I just don't know if I can but at the same time I don't know if I can not believe either. I ran across this in another thread in the questions by non-Christians forum. Someone said that they believed in God because they can't not believe...they'd tried and it didn't work. Maybe I'm finding the same...that no matter how hard believing is, I can't not believe. Hmm...

Yeah, anyway...I guess this is another vent from me.

HERE IS WHERE YOU MAY BE GOING WRONG......ARE YOU SPIRITUALLY REBORN (John 3:3 )???

First of all, you need to understand what it means to come to Christ. Not only do you need to believe in Him, you need to CONFESS and ADMIT you are wrong and GOD is right. Alot of people believe in Him as Savior, even satin believes that, but do you SUBMIT to HIS authority (His Lordship)? Did you EVER fall to your knees and spill your heart and tears out to Him and ask for His forgiveness for all the sins in your life. Remember He is wanting a CONTRITE AND HUMBLE HEART. He knows all your sins, everyone of them. You NOT ONLY HAVE TO CONFESS (admit your ways are the wrong ways and His ways are the true ways) BUT REPENT. If HE feels you have genuine sorry ,that is, Godly sorrow, not the "darn I got caught sorrow" or "woe is me sorrow", He will reach out to you and send the Holy Spirit into your heart. Until you recieve Him into your heart, you will never be a "true" Christian (ie. "In-Christ"). God knows the heart. He will send the Holy Spirit into your life to guide your actions and protect you. Those who are efficaciously called by God are set apart for Him. That calling is stated in a variety of ways: 2 Timothy 1:9 calls it "a holy calling"; Philippians 3:14 calls it "the high calling"; and Hebrews 3:1 calls it "the heavenly calling." Rom 8:30 says "for whomever God calls, He justifies; whomever He justifies, He will glorify!" There are no gaps in that divine process. Again, for the Holy Spirit to enter into your life and you becoming one of His children, a "child of God", you must have genuine belief, genuine sorrow, genuine repentance and recieve Him into you heart. Once you become "His child" , 2Cor 5:17 says, "you are a new creation, the old has past away and the new has come".
Rev 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.