2 years ago, I was outside and ocd was telling me to return home to get paper napkins as part of an ocd compulsion. I did not want to do it but ocd was giving me worries. I tried to make a promise to Christian God about not returning home in order to get paper napkins (compulsion) in order to use the fear of God as a weapon to force myself not do the compulion. (fight ocd) i tried to cancel the promise but I worry that maybe the deal/promise was accepted by other Gods (in case Christian God is not real)
Yesterday, I was in my childhood house, in the living room. I had some problems with my ocd. I was worrying that maybe I did something that seemed as if I imitated a part of the action of the promise.
Ι was trying to persuade myself that I did not imitated a part of the action of the promise, while walking in my living room. I was thinking that I never left the house and never returned to my house to get napkins (actions of the promise) I just, made a turnaround in order to emphasize that I never returned home to get napkins. My ocd kept telling me that my turnaround was an imitation of a part of the promise. I knew it was just, ocd nonsense, but I was not sure. I wanted to prove myself that my turnabout was not imitation of the promise, even though I was having the fear of the promise in my mind. So, I rushly, made an imitation of my turnaround in order to convince myself that it was not imitation of the promise.
What if while making the turnabout (imitation), I subconsciously, (without realizing) had the fake goal to get napkins (since it was an imitation) and that broke the promise because it is something that has to do with a goal?
lets say someones makes the promise that he wont return home in order to get paper napkins
and that guy while being inside his house, imitates for a second that he returns home to get napkins without actually, doing it.
please give me some reassurance and answer me this 2 specific questions, exactly, as i ask them!
1) do you think my turnaround was a full imitation of the promise?
2) what if it was? does that break the promise?
Yesterday, I was in my childhood house, in the living room. I had some problems with my ocd. I was worrying that maybe I did something that seemed as if I imitated a part of the action of the promise.
Ι was trying to persuade myself that I did not imitated a part of the action of the promise, while walking in my living room. I was thinking that I never left the house and never returned to my house to get napkins (actions of the promise) I just, made a turnaround in order to emphasize that I never returned home to get napkins. My ocd kept telling me that my turnaround was an imitation of a part of the promise. I knew it was just, ocd nonsense, but I was not sure. I wanted to prove myself that my turnabout was not imitation of the promise, even though I was having the fear of the promise in my mind. So, I rushly, made an imitation of my turnaround in order to convince myself that it was not imitation of the promise.
What if while making the turnabout (imitation), I subconsciously, (without realizing) had the fake goal to get napkins (since it was an imitation) and that broke the promise because it is something that has to do with a goal?
lets say someones makes the promise that he wont return home in order to get paper napkins
and that guy while being inside his house, imitates for a second that he returns home to get napkins without actually, doing it.
please give me some reassurance and answer me this 2 specific questions, exactly, as i ask them!
1) do you think my turnaround was a full imitation of the promise?
2) what if it was? does that break the promise?
