I Wanna Quit

[72_Chev_Truck]

Hey guys, I figured I'd post this where all my buds hang out.

Heres my dillemma... I play drums for a worship team for intervarsity christian fellowship. Im kind of feeling very disconnected from the group this past semester and up till now. I dont feel appreciated, I dont get any help from anyone, (haul drums) the worship team leader used to be my best friend last year and now i talk to her maybe once or twice a week. Im sick of answering to her that everything is fine even though she thinks somethings wrong cuz i havnt talked to her.

I just want to quit for a while. I just dont feel like its a rewarding experience lately. God usually speaks to me through music but it seems as if thats gone away.

Give me some advice to ponder while I go pray.

Thanks

 

[aggie03]

I would suggest that you be up front with everyone and tell them exactly how you feel, and why you feel that way. They can't read your mind, so they don't know when things are bothering you. It's obvious that the leader cares about you or she wouldn't keep asking you if anything was wrong. Next time she asks you, tell her the truth. Or even better yet, go find her and tell what's been going on. The other people aren't going to hate you for having feelings, and if you need help with the equipment, the only way they're going to know is if you ask them for it

That's my advice for you right now

I know it's off topic, so you don't have to respond if you choose not to, but have you ever thought that maybe God doesn't want you to play instruments? I'm not saying that in and of themselves instruments are a bad thing, but maybe God wants something else instead. Think about that, too, if you'd like, and maybe we can talk about it

 

[Penguin of Doom]

If you aren't connecting with the music, I see nothing but benefits from stepping away from it for awhile. As musicians, one would hope your bandmates would understand and respect that descion .

 

[Kaylynn]

Maybe you just need to be ministered to. A lot of people are ministered to through worship songs. Maybe its just been too long since you've been able to just sit and listen to the words and focus on God. It's sometimes hard to let loose and fully worship God when you are having to be up there leading others in worship. I'd pray about it and if you feel God is behind your decision...take a break. Don't just listen to us, ultimately, listen to what you feel God is telling you to do.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

I would hope.


aggie03-- I believe God wants me to play drums, hes the reason I got back into it. I would have quit otherwise and then never played again.

 

[aggie03]

72_chevy_truck

I'm not going to say any more about whether or not God wants you to play instruments in this thread. You've started it with a specific need and a very specific question, and it would be wrong of me to come in here and start off on a completely different track when that's not what you wanted or asked for. I only want to let you know that I have been, and know of a few people who were in situations very similar to yours and through study of God's word and prayer, we all arrived at the same conclusion.

If you would like to talk about this, I would be more than willing to do it through e-mail, PMs or by starting a new thread, that way this one can stay open to people who are concerned for you and want to help by offering their advice.

As far as that goes, pray about it, and don't be afraid to tell people how you feel and what's really going on. If they care for you, they'll want to help you in any way that they can. I think the worst thing you could do is go on and pretend like nothing is bothering you I pray that you find help in the advice that you seek. If I can think of anything else that might be helpful I'll be sure to post it for you

 

[zibbler]

Here's something you might want to consider. First of all, I believe God put the desire to play music in you. It's one of your gifts. Secondly, there are seasons in life, and with our walk with God. Your season with the worship team may be over, and God is telling you to move on. Perhaps he has something better planned, but you need to walk away from this for a while and let God lead you in the direction you should go. Maybe you're supposed to join a band that plays locally to minister to the community. The point is, seek God for wisdom and ask him to show you what you should do. I would also suggest being honest with the rest of the worship team and telling them how you feel. Don't let it turn to bitterness and resentment.

 

[wvmtnkid]

You know, I go through periods like that in some of the things that I do, ministry-wise. Sometimes it is just because I am tired. Sometimes it is because I am involved in so many other things, (because I have had trouble saying no) that I can't focus on what I enjoy doing, or perhaps what I feel I have been called to do.

This is just my advice and my opinion, but first off, I agree with laying it out on the line with the leader and the rest of the band. Tell them how you feel. You are a group that is to minister to each other as well as to others. If one of you is having problems, I think it is ok to share that with the group. Maybe there are some things you can do as a group to help work on that feeling of being connected. Do you pray together before you perform? Do you have practice times together? If you do, maybe those practice times can incorporate some activities that help build the group connectedness (if that is a word ). Talk to your leader and see what she thinks about that. If you do all of this and you still have a problem, maybe it is time for a break. Maybe you are being called somewhere else.

Just to relate an example from my experience, I was a Sunday School teacher. I taught for 12 years. The last 3-4 years though, I really wanted to give it up, but I didn't because I felt that I was called to teach and by giving it up I was giving up something that God had called me to do. But it was becoming increasingly harder for me to do it. I had trouble focusing on my lesson, I got irritated at the children, etc... I discussed my problems with the other teacher and with our director, we tried a few different things, I still felt the same way. Finally this past summer, I bit the bullet, and finally gave up teaching. I felt really guilty about it for awhile. But, God has opened up other doors of service for me to be involved in, ones I wouldn't do before because of teaching. And, what is neat, is that a few others who were not involved in Sunday School before have become involved because they took over the teaching job. So, I think it worked for everyone.

So, maybe the feelings you are having are ok because it is time to move on, and for God to move others in. I would just first try to see what can be solved where you are, and if after doing that, things don't change, maybe take that step of faith and see what God might have for you yet to do. Of course, prayer is a major thing all through this!

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

thanks for some advice, i appreciate it. now i just wish it was easy to talk to the worship leader

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hmmmm.....I guess that is something you'll have to figure out the best way to do. All I know for sure is that if you pray for God to make an opening, and then follow His lead when He provides one, things will have a way of working out.

I tend to be able to explain things better by giving an example, in case you haven't noticed. So if you will indulge me a bit again: this past weekend, I had a meeting at church on Friday evening and Saturday morning. On Fri, it was very evident that a person in the meeting was in a terrible mood and was bringing a lot of tension into the meeting. We were having trouble getting anything accomplished. I was so distressed by the time I left the meeting. I went home that evening and prayed that there would be some resolution by the next morning so that we could at least get something accomplished. I was feeling a bit resentful at the person who was causing the problem. My devotion the next morning was in Ephesians 4. These verses happened to stick out to me the most. Verses 25-27 "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." And also verses 29-32: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

So, I prayed again, that I would not be angry at my friend who seemed to be so angry and was having problems and causing problems, that I could forgive her, and that God would work out whatever was causing her to be so angry and to give her some peace. I went on to the meeting. Things started out much like the night before, but as the meeting wore on, some of the tension eased. Afterward, I got ready to leave, but I felt like I needed to stick around and offer to help her with something she was working on. I did, and while it was just her and myself, she confided in me what was bothering her so much and we were able to talk some things out.

So, I felt like that by following the lead that God was giving me, some peace and understanding were brought into a situation, were I could have just walked away mad at what was going on and not done anything about trying to help the situation.

Does that make any sense?

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

It makes sense. that i need to find an opening to talk to her. trouble is i dont know how ill ever find that door because she is so busy with all this other stuff.

I tried to tell her last night online. i told her that i was considering taking a break for a while. she laughed and says "yea right" then i say no im serious. the sucky part comes next. She says "thanks a lot for just ditching me and leaving me in the dirt"

when this was said it threw me into an instant fit of rage. i keep thinking to myself, all the things ive done for her and are willing to do and she says this after she got a boyfriend and wont bother to make any time for someone she calls a "best friend"

I dont want to be a jerk about it but i just want to tell her how much that remark hurt. I want to tell her why i feel the way i do without getting a bunch of well what about yadda yadda. i dont want to speak mean about her, she is a friend and i dont want to add any more drama to this or any other situation we have.

 

[iambigdog]

just keep on drumming dude, if you dont like the band find another. its all about meeting new ppl . just giver man and let it be worship before god when you play, then you cant go wrong. maintain friendships, have fun and make new ones too. ROCK ON brah

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

sorry dude but its about God and his place for my life.

 

[iambigdog]

hmm yes i agree but read the parable of the talents, god gave you a talent bro.