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I used to be so afraid of being fat

Discussion in 'Eating Disorders' started by jesusandrainbows, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. jesusandrainbows

    jesusandrainbows Jesus Saves

    24
    +42
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    I went to Remuda Ranch, and spent enough time there to quit using laxatives. I was anorexic, then bulimic, anorexic, bulimic, and eventually I was using drugs to cope with my eating disorder. Finally, years later, I prayed to Jesus, mostly because I realized I was only using drugs because of my eating disorder.
    And, miraculously, my eating disorder was gone.
    I ate fried chicken. Didn't care.
    I ate fried chicken nearly everyday, and drank regular sodas without a second thought.
    I didn't care about my size whatsoever.
    Two years later, I'm learning to moderate. I developed a binge eating disorder in this past year because of 1)living in a house instead of the streets and 2)schizophrenia and 3)personal.
    I drink a cup of water before meals and try to listen to God.

    Want to know something super special and unbelievable?
    I got fat, at one point. Yeah, FAT. And you know what? I was curvy. I was luscious. I wanted to gain more weight I looked so bombshell.
    Now, I've gained too much weight, lol, but what's great about it is I'm not beating myself up, I'm not throwing my body to death, and this is all because of God.

    Being "fat" isn't as uncomfortable as you'd think.
    I spent practically my whole life trying to be thin, suffering to be thin, when I already was and I was just tripping because I thought I was supposed to be skinny and that I was ugly if I wasn't.
    That's the devil, girls and boys.
    Which is why when I'm tempted to go back to self-destructive eating disorder habits, I don't.

    I can eat ranch dressing without hating myself.
    I don't have to use drugs to suppress my appetite.
    I can give myself to God, and I can be happy.
    Pray to Jesus.
    Don't suffer anymore.
    Let him change your life.

    Jesus Saves.
     
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  2. Solomons Porch

    Solomons Porch Solomon's Porch

    +5,776
    United States
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    AWESOME TESTIMONY THANK YOU FOR SHARING YAY GOD !!!
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Neari

    Neari Neari

    74
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    United States
    Christian
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    I can't tell you how much reassurance this gives me..on so many levels. Thank you. :heartpulse:
     
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  4. Caelesto

    Caelesto Eternal Wanderer

    8
    +30
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    I am so happy to read this. It is no small feat, what you have accomplished. You are living breathing proof that recovery is possible, and that is a huge beacon of hope for the rest of us.
     
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  5. Bluerose31

    Bluerose31 Christian Flower Supporter

    +6,572
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    Thank you for sharing this. It touched my heart. Be blessed.
     
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  6. Amy Cortright

    Amy Cortright New Member

    35
    +8
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Your message concerns me, it does not seem a positive one. Gluttony is a sin. Anorexia and Bulimia are not good and take toil on one psychologically and physically usually. Yet being fat and proud of it is not the way to go either. I do not want you to beat yourself up, yet your message seems odd. It pays to be healthy concerned about weight and body size. You admit you gained too much weight that is stepping stone. The pull to gain more and more weight is not positive and shows underlying rebellion and sin. God put one child to death who disobeyed his parents in the old testament and they stated he was a glutton and drunkard who never obeyed his parents this is a true story in the Bible the child was stoned to death under old testament law. I don't meant to be harsh with you no anorexia is not idea, yet gluttony is a sin, you should not be proud of what you have accomplished, obviously improving a bit from anorexia is good yet not to the point of not caring about how much you eat or how much you weigh.

    I don't mean to be cruel to you, I do have care for you in Jesus, remember faithful are the wounds of a friend.

    i pray that you don't beat yourself up over what you have done which is sin, yet I pray that you repent. I do not currently know how much you weigh so maybe you are not even overweight and the story is different, but the way you word things is a major problem with me and speaks of just someone who wants to brag on their own sin and state it as a good thing.

    Amy
     
  7. Amy Cortright

    Amy Cortright New Member

    35
    +8
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I am sorry i think I was very mean to you and it was uncalled for you said you had schizophrenia and I don't mean to attack you here either, I also have schizophrenia, it is hard to live with. i am also sorry you spent time on the streets that must have been very hard. Know a desire to keep gaining more and more weight is not positive you need balance and proper stewardship. I do think your whole writing that you have written in this post is very concerning to me. i would recommend typing out what you have written and sharing it with your psychiatrist if you have the courage for that. I do not want you feeling bad about yourself, or feeling bad about yourself. I sympathy with your struggle with schizophrenia.

    Amy
     
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