I try and I try but it never works

[unwantedbygod]

I want to be a believer. But I just can't. I try. People say you just have to accept Christ and mean it (there's usually a specific prayer that goes with it but I don't have it committed to memory). I've tried to accept Christ. I've said the words. I've gone to churches. I spent a handful of years in Catholic school as a kid/teen. I've read various things arguing in favor of Christianity. I've tried to change my own mind. But I don't feel it. I don't believe it. The best I can do is think "I guess it's possible." I just feel like it's so unfair. It seems like everyone I know has "felt it" at least once and has that to lean on when they have doubts. But I never have. I feel completely alone. As my life gets worse and worse I wish I could believe that there was a point to it, or a greater meaning behind it, like I used to. And the kicker is that if hell is real, I'm going there despite my best efforts, because trying isn't enough! I get that life isn't fair. But it still bums me out. I am beginning to think that it goes along the lines of the notion of "God's chosen people." I don't have faith within myself and God doesn't seem to see fit to spot me a little. Fair enough. I guess I just feel like that if this God that supposedly exists really loves us all and wants us all to be saved, he'd give a little help when it's clear we can't do it on our own. I think maybe God just doesn't want me as one of "his children" in this way. I read the Bible and it's just a book. I hear other peoples' testimonies and think "that's great for them." I hear stories of what awaits sinners and nonbelievers and can only feel resignation. Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam.

 

[The Unorthodox Orthodox]

I can't really help you, because I've never been in your place.
For me, everything good in man or nature is a theodicy.
I feel the presence of God just by thinking how complex and beautiful this World is and how lucky I was to be born in it.

We often forget how improbable it is for a world like our own to come into existance, because we take it for granted.
But think about it for a minute;
Earth is a rock covered in water, hovering around a giant fireball (sun) and according to the theory of evolution, you great great grandfather was a fish; It is like a story God came up with.
Nothing less than a miracle. .

If you are sensitive enough, you will realise that this World couldn't have evolved on it's own, without guidance.

As Jesus puts it; "Blessed be the pure of heart for they will see God"

You say that the Bible is just a book to you. I prompt you to read it again, as a poem this time.
Try to ask yourself; "What does this sentence mean to me? How can I put it to good use in my own life?"
Don't see it as a book, but as a tool to guide yourself to perfection.

If you wan't to feel God, then go ahead and live your life in accordance to Jesus' teachings.
Go outside and help and comfort those in need and you will see God in their greatful eyes. You will feel Him beside you comforting them with you and you will be unable to doubt His existance anymore.

Don't search for God in books and papers; Search for Him in the hearts of those that need you.

 

[bling]

Look up a local Alpha course at the closes Church, you should meet some interesting helpful people to talk with and get a free meal:
http://alphausa.org/Groups/1000065342/Alt_Home_page.aspx

 

[Puptart]

Contrary to the happy-go-lucky "pray and all will be fixed" people, faith is in fact difficult. But rarely is the best way to live life also a necessarily easy way to live life. It doesn't come second-nature for everyone and even after making a choice to believe, sometimes it can still be a struggle.

The funny thing about faith in God is that it is still just a relationship, and as with any other relationship, feelings wax and wane naturally. The periods of ups and downs are natural, but "downs" in particular can often be emphasized by problems in other areas of our lives. I'd suggest if you are struggling with anything else in your life, that you should work to resolve it so you can think and feel with a clear head.

If there's literally nothing else wrong with your life, I'd recommend talking to a pastor at your church, or any church for that matter if you don't currently attend one, just to speak with someone in real life about what you're struggling with. The internet is nice, but there is no substitute for a real person.

 

[cricket0206]

I feel the exact same way. I've always been a believer, although I've never been baptized or anything, and I stopped going to church a few years ago (I'm 15 now) and i just can't believe in something that I have doubts about.

I mean, what about the Greeks? They had gods, but i bet none of you believe those are real. I'd like to be comforted by the fact that when I die I'll go somewhere and my soul will keep living, but it just doesn't seem likely to me. I'll just be gone. It'll be like I'm sleeping.

I just can't believe. It's like when you find out Santa Claus isn't real. You can keep telling yourself he's real, but you won't believe it in your heart.

 

[Puptart]

In between becoming a Christian, and now, I was an atheist for a few years. Sometimes there is life after Santa

The gods throughout human history are people's natural inclination to explaining the world around them. No one knew why there was lightning at one point in history, so they'd create a "God" who controlled it. The Egyptians didn't understand why the moon and sun rose and set, so they created Gods who drove the moon and the sun through the sky on cosmic chariots.

The one thing that's interesting about the history of God in humanity is that you can almost always find a little bit here or there that parallels Christianity. For some people, that means Christianity "borrowed" from other religions (and frankly it has in a number of ways), but for me? It just means that the truth has always been the same. And that's a comfort in and of itself.

But not everything is true. There are no gods who raise and lower the sun each day and the moon each night. That search for truth will always be a part of faith, and each person's faith journey will be different -- easier in some ways, more complicated than others.

I hope you both find what you're looking for

 

[singpeace]

I hate that this has been such a struggle for you, and I wish with all my heart that you "felt" the presence of God. My prayer is that you will soon have an experience with God that you cannot doubt; that changes everything in your life for the good forever.

Until you have your own personal "experience" with the Lord, you may need to seek answers using some simple logic and reason. So here are a few questions I thought might be helpful... just thoughts to ponder.

BTW, He does love you so very much.



If there is no God, “the big questions” remain unanswered, so how do we answer the following questions:

1. Why is there something rather than nothing?

2. Why is there conscious, intelligent life on this planet, and is there any meaning to this life?

3. If there is meaning, what kind of meaning and how is it found?

4. Does human history lead anywhere, or is it all in vain since death is merely the end?

5. How do you come to understand good and evil, right and wrong without a transcendent signifier?

6. If these concepts are merely social constructions, or human opinions, whose opinion does one trust in determining what is good or bad, right or wrong?

7. If there is no God, the problems of evil and suffering are in no way solved, so where is the hope of redemption, or meaning for those who suffer?

8. Why would we seek the alleviation of suffering without objective morality grounded in a God of justice?

9. If there is no God, we don’t make sense, so how do we explain human longings and desire for the transcendent?

10. How do we even explain human questions for meaning and purpose, or inner thoughts like, why do I feel unfulfilled or empty?

11. Why do we hunger for the spiritual, and how do we explain these longings if nothing can exist beyond the material world?

 

[talitha]

There are reasons for your not feeling anything, and more than likely it's not your fault at all; it's probably something that happened when you were very young, definitely something that caused you to shut down part of yourself. Jesus does offer healing for these things too, and truly He alone can wake up your spirit.... I pray that He connects you with the right people to help you with this. It's so wrong for the Church to make people feel like they just can't fit in, when there is in fact hope.

 

[Miss Elly]

I want to be a believer. But I just can't. I try. People say you just have to accept Christ and mean it (there's usually a specific prayer that goes with it but I don't have it committed to memory). I've tried to accept Christ. I've said the words. I've gone to churches. I spent a handful of years in Catholic school as a kid/teen. I've read various things arguing in favor of Christianity. I've tried to change my own mind. But I don't feel it. I don't believe it. The best I can do is think "I guess it's possible." I just feel like it's so unfair. It seems like everyone I know has "felt it" at least once and has that to lean on when they have doubts. But I never have. I feel completely alone. As my life gets worse and worse I wish I could believe that there was a point to it, or a greater meaning behind it, like I used to. And the kicker is that if hell is real, I'm going there despite my best efforts, because trying isn't enough! I get that life isn't fair. But it still bums me out. I am beginning to think that it goes along the lines of the notion of "God's chosen people." I don't have faith within myself and God doesn't seem to see fit to spot me a little. Fair enough. I guess I just feel like that if this God that supposedly exists really loves us all and wants us all to be saved, he'd give a little help when it's clear we can't do it on our own. I think maybe God just doesn't want me as one of "his children" in this way. I read the Bible and it's just a book. I hear other peoples' testimonies and think "that's great for them." I hear stories of what awaits sinners and nonbelievers and can only feel resignation. Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam.

Unless the Spirit of God draws you, you cannot be saved. I "tried" hard to be a christian, but I couldn't do it, could not live the christian life. I still wanted to world I guess. One day the Lord started dealing with me....found out my mother was praying for me.....I wasn't even sure what I was feeling......it was conviction of the Holy Spirit. I confessed to my pastor that I didn't know how to be a christian. I was crying. I just gave up you see, on me trying so hard. Jesus came in and He changed me. You cannot change yourself. I am praying for you that God will give you a supernatural experience with Him.

 

[Tomas de Torquemada]

Contrary to the happy-go-lucky "pray and all will be fixed" people, faith is in fact difficult. But rarely is the best way to live life also a necessarily easy way to live life. It doesn't come second-nature for everyone and even after making a choice to believe, sometimes it can still be a struggle.

The funny thing about faith in God is that it is still just a relationship, and as with any other relationship, feelings wax and wane naturally. The periods of ups and downs are natural, but "downs" in particular can often be emphasized by problems in other areas of our lives. I'd suggest if you are struggling with anything else in your life, that you should work to resolve it so you can think and feel with a clear head.

If there's literally nothing else wrong with your life, I'd recommend talking to a pastor at your church, or any church for that matter if you don't currently attend one, just to speak with someone in real life about what you're struggling with. The internet is nice, but there is no substitute for a real person.

this is solid advice.

You should think of faith formation as training. So first, do you have a gym membership AKA a local church to attend? 2nd: you should attend mass every week. 3rd you should prepare yourself to recieve the sacraments, physical signs of God's prescence. 4th: you should become involved in your parish, particularly with adult faith formation, etc. I'm a weirdo on the internet and should be taken with a grain of salt. Real people have skin in the game.

But yes, the first step is integrating your struggle to the community.

I mean, what about the Greeks? They had gods, but i bet none of you believe those are real. I'd like to be comforted by the fact that when I die I'll go somewhere and my soul will keep living, but it just doesn't seem likely to me. I'll just be gone. It'll be like I'm sleeping.

effortless oblivion is far more comforting than the possibility of damnation.

 

[Tomas de Torquemada]

But your experience of spiritual "abandonment" is a frequent motiff in christian literature. David spoke often of it in the psalms, as did St. John of the Cross in his poem Dark Night of the Soul, or Thomas a Kempis in Imitation of Christ. All of which are very worthwhile reading, although they will strike you as very odd if you have not had much contact with medieval spirituality.

 

[paul1149]

I want to be a believer. But I just can't. I try. People say you just have to accept Christ and mean it (there's usually a specific prayer that goes with it but I don't have it committed to memory). I've tried to accept Christ. I've said the words. I've gone to churches. I spent a handful of years in Catholic school as a kid/teen. I've read various things arguing in favor of Christianity. I've tried to change my own mind. But I don't feel it. I don't believe it. The best I can do is think "I guess it's possible." I just feel like it's so unfair.

Dear Unwanted,

These sound like classic signs to me that you are trying too hard. You have done this, you have done that. You have tried this, but it didn't work. After all you've done, you can't feel anything.

What that adds up to is that you are still trapped in yourself. That's not going to work.

Here's what I recommend: stop trying, and start trusting. Essentially say, God, I don't know how to do this. In fact, I can't do this. So I simply am going to let you do it. I am going to trust that somehow you will reach me, because I cannot reach you.

That is actually what the Gospel is all about: God reaching down to us when we could not attain to Him.

In boiling down the salvation experience to its essentials, Paul writes this:

But the righteousness based on faith says, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down)
“or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead).
But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim);
because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. -Rom 10.6-10​

Paul is saying that you cannot force God to come to you. You can't climb up high enough or dig down deep enough. He's saying the truth is already in your heart, you just have to tap into it.

Also remember the story of the Good Shepherd, in Luke 15. Jesus likens Himself to the shepherd who will leave his flock and go out to find just one lost sheep.

You are that sheep, and Jesus will find you. You just need to let Him. Start to rest, and let your soul get quiet. Be patient and let God work. He knows exactly how to reach you. Exactly. It may not be the way you think. That's why He's God and we're not.

He already gave so much so that you could spend eternity with Him. He is eager to reconcile yourself to Him. I am absolutely confident that He will do just that, if you will turn the whole thing over to Him. If you extend yourself to Him with a sincere willingness to meet Him on His terms, He will do the rest.

BTW, you are not "unwanted by God", you are dearly wanted.

 

[Sketcher]

I went through a brief stage where I tried to believe, but couldn't. Thankfully, it didn't last. This means that you can still find faith in Christ. I am praying for you.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

I feel the exact same way. I've always been a believer, although I've never been baptized or anything, and I stopped going to church a few years ago (I'm 15 now) and i just can't believe in something that I have doubts about.

I mean, what about the Greeks? They had gods, but i bet none of you believe those are real. I'd like to be comforted by the fact that when I die I'll go somewhere and my soul will keep living, but it just doesn't seem likely to me. I'll just be gone. It'll be like I'm sleeping.

I just can't believe. It's like when you find out Santa Claus isn't real. You can keep telling yourself he's real, but you won't believe it in your heart.

Cricket, the Romans and Greeks spoke about their Gods as tales. Christianity is about an actual person Jesus Christ. There is a huge difference between the 2. Gary Habermas, who was a skeptic turned Christian, did a sort of survey of the. Beliefs of new testament scholars and whether these scholars were atheist, agnostic, liberal Christian theologians or Christians 75% of them believed in the empty tomb of Christ as a historic fact. Once you establish this the only reasonable explanation is the resurrection.
Http://www.garyhabermas.com is an awesome site for both you and unwanted because not only is he the most knowledgable guy on the resurrection but he also went through the doubts too.
Please feel free to pm me anytime
Just don't feel it's abnormal to have doubts because the greatest saints in Christianity went through very rough periods of doubts. This is how the lord forged them into saints.

Faith isn't about our feelings and the bible itself warns us not to rely on our feelings for determining our faith.
I will put you both in my prayers

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Unless the Spirit of God draws you, you cannot be saved. I "tried" hard to be a christian, but I couldn't do it, could not live the christian life. I still wanted to world I guess. One day the Lord started dealing with me....found out my mother was praying for me.....I wasn't even sure what I was feeling......it was conviction of the Holy Spirit. I confessed to my pastor that I didn't know how to be a christian. I was crying. I just gave up you see, on me trying so hard. Jesus came in and He changed me. You cannot change yourself. I am praying for you that God will give you a supernatural experience with Him.

This is incorrect because God desires that all of us be saved, and not just a few of the unconditional elect, but ALL of us as he loves us all.

 

[aiki]

I want to be a believer. But I just can't. I try. People say you just have to accept Christ and mean it (there's usually a specific prayer that goes with it but I don't have it committed to memory). I've tried to accept Christ. I've said the words. I've gone to churches. I spent a handful of years in Catholic school as a kid/teen. I've read various things arguing in favor of Christianity. I've tried to change my own mind. But I don't feel it. I don't believe it.

Why have you done all this in an attempt to believe in God?

I would also point out that accepting Christ as your Saviour and Lord happens after you believe, not before. Accepting Christ doesn't create belief; it is the result of belief.

God makes it very clear in His Word, the Bible, that He draws us to Himself. God takes the initiative in persuading us to trust in Him. We don't have it in us to believe in the way God desires us to believe.

The best I can do is think "I guess it's possible." I just feel like it's so unfair. It seems like everyone I know has "felt it" at least once and has that to lean on when they have doubts. But I never have. I feel completely alone.

"Felt it"? I don't know what you mean. God doesn't exist because I have "felt" that He does. He exists regardless of my feelings about Him. And this is what true belief, godly belief, requires: believing in God and in His Word even when my feelings don't align with that belief.

As my life gets worse and worse I wish I could believe that there was a point to it, or a greater meaning behind it, like I used to. And the kicker is that if hell is real, I'm going there despite my best efforts, because trying isn't enough!

Trying has never been enough. We don't escape hell because we tried hard but because we ceased to try and instead just accepted God's gift of salvation obtained for us through Jesus Christ's death on the cross. No one will ever earn salvation; it is only ever received as a gift. Stop trying. Let go and let God.

I get that life isn't fair. But it still bums me out. I am beginning to think that it goes along the lines of the notion of "God's chosen people." I don't have faith within myself and God doesn't seem to see fit to spot me a little.

Of course you have faith. You wouldn't be able to function if you didn't. You may not feel inclined to exercise faith toward God, but you have faith nonetheless. Is there no one you trust? Surely there must be some people in whom you have faith. Do you take public transit? Do you ever mail anything? Do you ever go to see a doctor? Doing any of these things requires faith.

Consider these verses:

2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Jeremiah 29:13
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

James 4:8
8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you...

Fair enough. I guess I just feel like that if this God that supposedly exists really loves us all and wants us all to be saved, he'd give a little help when it's clear we can't do it on our own.

He has helped millions of believers come to a genuine faith in Him. He is completely willing to do the same for you. But you must come His way, on His terms, not on your own.

I think maybe God just doesn't want me as one of "his children" in this way.

To be blunt: nonsense! As the verse above tells you, God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

I read the Bible and it's just a book.

Well, if this is what you think, then it is no wonder your faith in Him is so eroded!

I hear other peoples' testimonies and think "that's great for them." I hear stories of what awaits sinners and nonbelievers and can only feel resignation. Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam.

See above.

Selah.

 

[Philothei]

Mod hat on
Please be advised that this is a Christian ONLY area meaning non-christians cannot reply to posts in threads only if they are the OP of the thread. per SoP

LINK


Mod hat off​

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi,

You don't have to have experiences like feeling to be a Christian. Most of my Christian life has been with out feeling. Yet I have had many experiences with God, see Know God Personally for details. Before I had experience with God, I had many years of no experience, just seeking. Don't give up too early be persistent.

 

[candle glow]

Not sure if the OP is still around and looking for replies, but for what it's worth I'll offer a response.

If you want to "believe" in the God of the Bible, it seems to make sense to consider the values of this God and if you agree with those values. The teachings of Jesus are the highest representation we have of those values.

Look at the things Jesus told his followers to do (I've got a list of Jesus' teachings on my website, which can be found in my profile). If you disagree with those teachings, then it doesn't make much sense for you to "believe" in his existence or not.

If you do agree with his teachings, then it makes sense for you to practice those teachings even if you don't experience feelings of his "reality" or whatever it is that you are longing for. If the teachings are worth following, then they should be followed.

Jesus said something similar:

JN 7:17 If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.

I believe that we are living in a time where God COULD irrefutably prove himself to people, to the point that they would have no choice but to believe in his existence, but that he deliberately does NOT do that.

I believe this is because he is looking for people who will respond to the merits of his teachings and values just because they appreciate those values, and not because they have no choice but to believe.

 

[Girder of Loins]

I have totally been in your situation, and although you said you have heard testimonies, allow me to share mine.

I was born in Vancouver, Washington, USA, and was adopted at birth. I have never known my real parents, and all I know is that it was the Catholics who told my mom not to abort me.

At three, I moved across the country to Speculator, New York, USA. There, I grew up. When I lived there, there was about five hundred "regulars", and only a handful of kids my age. Literally a handful. There was about ten of us. The town had a resort in it(random place for one), called Camp of the Woods(fitting name, really). I lived as any child would want to live. I literally lived like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody(or whatever its called). I had chocolate milk at my disposal, paths to ride my bike no one else could, a whole camp in the winter to ride my dirtbike, et cetera. There were three kids there who I felt were my brothers I never had. We were inseparable. We were all homeschooled, so during the winter, we would usually just school together until noon, and then go to the local ski hill or just goof off. I loved it and my life was perfect. Not a care in the world.

Then God decided to completely flip my life upside-down. We moved to Oregon(over 3000 miles away). I was mad at God to say the least. I had grown up Christian, but I flat out rejected Him after the move. It was about that time that I really started to think. my biological dad didn't care about me, my mother wanted to kill me in her womb, my adoptive dad didn't care about my life, and my "Heavenly Father" apparently could care less about me or made me to laugh at. Either way, I wasn't going to acknowledge Him! He had allowed my life to be ruined. I was taken from deep, beautiful forests of color and magic(to a kid), and sent to dismal Oregon filled with green, orange, or dead brown. Yay. The only consolation was the mountains, but I didn't care. I had been taken from my family. God ripped me from both my biological family, and the family I found in New York. I hated him with a thriving passion. This led me down some wrong paths, and I turned to pornography(something I still struggle with), and homosexuality. I lost my virginity at 13 to a boy my age. And we both went to church, but both of us didn't believe in "God" or anything.

At age fifteen, I finally realized why God had sent me through my personal hell. I got to help start a church, which opened my life to music. Music is now one of the most important things in my life. I also got to attend a Christian school with an academic program that I can only describe as a "High School Yale". Here, I found a love for math and science.

But most importantly, I went to a Christian conference called Generation Unleashed in Portland, Oregon. I went there still hating God, but acknowledging His existence(the school had helped that). I still didn't have faith that He loved me or wanted me. I still felt that He hated me and laughed at me. There, I had my first encounter with Christ. It was so much, that i had to sit down and stare blankly. Thoughts and doubts were completely erased. i tried to fight it, thinking it was just placebo or God giving me false hope, but no matter what I tried, the feeling lasted. I couldn't even move.

After the conference, I joined an outreach team in my school called Hands for God, and there I gained my passion for youth ministry. I got to share the gospel with a bunch of people and make a difference that I have seen. I have seen miracles happen, further strengthening my faith.

So what to make of all this? Keep searching. God will find you if you don't find Him. Just keep your mind open, and your heart. Don't be an idiot like me and be forced to sit in a chair to finally come to grips with the knowledge that God loves you. Because He does. He has a plan for you. He wants to give you a road for your life, one filled with joy. I can finally say I have joy. Even though my life has been full of rejection since -9 months, I can still say I'm happy because God loved me enough to save me.

May You Find Your Way, UnwantedByGod(because He does want you!).