I thought I would share my responses from God

[childofGod31]

I just wanted to share a few responses from God that I got in the past two years. I usually write everything down. So I just copied some things from my journal (to share).

At the very beginning of my journey of getting closer to God, there was a period when I was in the second stage of my search for intimacy with God. (First stage is happy moving forward. Second stage – a feeling of getting nowhere, a feeling of rejection, a feeling of hopelessness.)
So I started to feel that God is not responding to me and that He is rejecting my love, that I am not loved by Him, that He doesn’t want me. This lasted for maybe a few days. During these few days, I came across 2 songs which have me hope.

One of them was “You are Loved” by Josh Groban. It said: “don’t give up, you are loved”.

The other was “Somebody’s waiting for you”. It said:
Have faith little one
'Til your hopes and your wishes come true.
You must try to be brave little one.
Someone's waiting to love you

It’s so interesting how they addressed exactly what I needed to hear then. And I did not know these two songs before this. A few days later God let me know (personally) that He loved me and so I was happy again. At that time, I realized that it was HIM sending me those two songs (in the meantime) to encourage me.

After that, I wrote an encouraging post on the forum in relation to the incident. And some guy (he doesn’t know anything about me) posted a reply to my post. A reply had nothing to do with my post. It simply said: I have a message for you from God. And it said:
“Yes my child. I am preparing you. I shall teach you how to precisely and accurately distinguish between My voice, and the voice of the deceiver. Do not let the people who think they have Me figured out discourage you. They think that they can label Me, analyze Me, and put Me in a box. I shall confound the people of the world. Those who think that they Have me figured out will be confounded. Ask Me, and you shall receive whatsoever you need. It is done. I have spoken."
It was a very big deal to me. It was only the second time that God gave me a message. So I was very excited. But I thought: God, how could you confound the world? Don't we already know everything that has happened and will happen? (the creation, the plan of salvation, the second coming, the future life... and all that.) But later God has told me a few things which I did not know before. Yes, we certainly don't know as much as we thought we do.)


One time I was afraid that I might forsake God at some point because of some pressure or deception or something. So I was seeking confirmation from God that it would not happen to me. I said: God, give me a song with the word “destiny” in it. And then I’ll know. So I was waiting for an answer. But in the mean time, I wanted to hear one particular song. And I was typing the name of that song. And as it turns out, I typed the wrong name. And instead of that song, THIS ONE came up. This one was the answer. “Forever Love” song.
I swear that you’ll always be mine...
Forever Love. I promise you.
Someday we’ll be together.
Forever love. I wont give up. no matter what.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Minutes and hours and years may go by.
But my heart knows nothing of time.
So don't cry, just keep me right there in your dreams.
and hold on to these words of mine.
Love is the road to our destiny.
Nothing can change what is meant to be.

Isn’t that amazing? Such strong words of promise! And just exactly when I asked for it! And I did not know this song. In fact, 99% of the songs I kept coming across I did not know because I was only familiar with Christian songs.

One day I was depressed, thinking that I don’t want to stay on earth, I want to go home to heaven. And so I was thinking: how in the world am I going to be able to wait? How can I take it? So I got this song “That’s what I’m here for”. I was so touched. God was saying: there there now, I am here, we’ll make it together.

Dry your eyes I'm here now
We'll get through this somehow
Sometimes this world cuts like a knife
Baby, baby that's life.
Please believe I understand
Put yourself into my hands
All of your heartaches
All of your fears
I'll make them disappear
That's what I'm here for baby
That's what a love can do

One day I was feeling sad that I do not have enough love in my heart in order to love God the way He deserves to be loved. I had so little of it to offer. And so He sent me this song: (Love me with all your heart)
Love me with all your heart, That's all I want Love…

One time God took a long time between our talks. And I was feeling insecure. I was thinking that perhaps He doesn’t love me as much as He said. Perhaps I don’t mean as much to Him. Otherwise, why would He not want to come and talk to me sooner? And so He sent me this song “Especially for you”
Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart
I thought of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

When we think of God, we think of Him as judging us, and being displeased when we disobey (accidentally or on purpose). So in those times I would think that God doesn’t think much of me, doesn't love me anymore. I knew in my head that it was not true. That God’s love was not conditional. But I couldn’t convince my heart of that (This was in the beginning. Now I am convinced of His love.) But since I felt that way in the beginning, He sent me this song. To me the words: “seasons change and praises cease” meant backsliding in a way. And also the words” striving leads you from home” meant that it’s the times when we sort of go do our thing, away from God, leave God, turn away from God for a season…

I will not take my love away (Matt Wertz)

I will not take my love away When praises cease and seasons change
while the whole world turns the other way
I will not take my love away I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need
I will not take my love away


One day I was feeling ashamed before God. He is so good and I am not. I was ashamed of not always doing what I should, of being selfish. So I got this song: “Stand up”
Look at all the lonely hearts
Shivering out in the dark
Don't be afraid to...Stand up!
Stand up if you're broken
Stand up if you feel ashamed
You are not alone when you hurt this way
Stand up if you need love
This is not judgment day
You don't have to hide
There's no need to run
Everything will be okay


True Colors
and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors shining through
your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

One time I was ashamed of my emotions. I was feeling bad things and I was ashamed of these feelings. I kept thinking that I wish I wouldn’t feel these things, I wished my emotions would go away and stop embarrassing me…So He sent me this song:
Don't let your world be torn apart
Don't keep it all to yourself
Just let all your emotions run free with someone like me
That's the way it should be
We make mistakes but doesn't everybody
You don't always have to agree with someone like me
That's the way it should be


Seeing God as a real romantic interest is not a conventional view. So sometimes I doubted whether it’s ok for me to see God that way. And it felt like God was encouraging me by this song (not only this one, but this is what I’ll post). It’s like God was saying: we are not that different from people, they just can’t understand it, we need love “to have and to hold” just like people do…

You'll be in my heart No matter what they say
Why can't they understand the way we feel
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all
Don't listen to them 'Cause what do they know
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time I know
When destiny calls you You must be strong
I may not be with you But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time I know
We'll show them together

 

[childofGod31]

continuation:

One day I was feeling really depressed. I was thinking that I made everything up and that God couldn’t possibly be the love of my life. So I was seeking confirmation again. I had a conversation with God (or an angry tirade at God, I should say) and I said: what are your intentions? Am I wrong to think that you love me like a Bride? Did I make everything up? Is it not true that all the fairy tales (boy meets girl and falls in love) are symbolic of your love towards us? Am I asking too much?
And so that day He sent me a few songs. And there is a line or two in each which addressed my different questions.

Classic case of boy meets girl
Moving in the same direction
You're not asking for the world
I'm not asking for perfection


Why don't you come be with me?
How much longer do I have to go
Waiting for you, come be with me
Heaven and earth know the moment is right
Why don't you come be with me?

My intentions are true
Won’t you take me with you
And baby you can sleep while I drive

So you stand here an angry young woman (And I sure was angry)
Taking all the pain to heart
I hear you saying you want to see changes
But you don't know how to start
Love will find a way


Fairy tales are real Wishes do come true
Fantasy won’t steal What I found in you
Morning Star I see By your silver beam
You have given me Cinderella’s dream


I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away


There are things in life you'll learn and In time you'll see
Cause out there somewhere It's all waiting
If you keep believing
So don't run, don't hide It will be all right
You'll see, trust me
I'll be there watching over you
Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
If you look through my eyes

One day I was in a frenzy. Thoughts kept coming to me, thoughts that made me feel bad and I couldn’t stop them. I knew I needed help (in order to stop the thoughts). And obviously God knew it too. So on that day I came across these two songs. They actually made the current of thoughts stop. I felt at peace. It was like magic.

Be Still: Your mind is spinning and your thoughts are winning
Be still Be still
You can’t think straight cause you don’t want to wait
Be still Be still
Be still and know I am your God
Be still and trust in your God

I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles They've gone white
But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say let it go.

One day I was going through an emotional battle. I felt intense emotional pain (I don’t think I ever felt that kind before). I felt like I was giving all that I had, but that wasn’t enough or wasn’t acceptable. I felt like I was on a ride on which I desperately did not want to be, but there was no way to get off. And I felt like I could not satisfy God’s demands no matter how hard I tried (wrong thinking, but that’s what I felt) That day God sent me this song to show me that He knew what I was going through, and it comforted me to know that. And again, it was amazing at how close to the truth the song was describing what I felt. (The pain has stopped after a little bit. Just as suddenly as it had come on. I can’t really explain why it came on or why it stopped. There seemed to be no reason for it. I was happy about an hour before. It was weird.)

What do you do when you've done all you can
And it seems like it's never enough’
Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can
And it seems like you can't make it through
Child you just stand You just stand
Stand Don't you give up
Through the storm , through the rain
Through the hurt , through the pain
Well, you just stand When there's nothing left to do
You just stand Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

I was thinking about this pain and how I often encountered emotional battles at the start of my journey, and I was wondering why. Before my journey, I was at peace most of the time. But afterwards, I started to go through these battles. And this thought came to me later: perhaps it was emotional/spiritual therapy. You know how if there is a problem, a therapist makes you face it in order to deal with it and get over it. Well, it seems that this is what happened. It seems that I was forced to face my problems, in order to have them healed. Now the battles have decreased significantly. And it seems that those things that bothered me are healed and are not a problem anymore.


On one day I was thinking about how I did not know what I should be doing, learning, thinking. Whether I am doing ok, whether everything is according to God's will. And this song was very encouraging. It was good to know that I could just relax and that God would let me know everything I need to know in its time.

Let me be the one to love you more
Trust in me and I will make you see
all the things that your heart needs to know
I'll be waiting for you here inside my heart
whatever it takes, we'll find a way

One time I was having one of my inner battles. And I felt that it was all my fault, that God was not to blame. And I did not want to burden God with my problem. It’s like I wanted His help, but I felt uncomfortable to be a burden. So I felt pretty bad, and kind of closing up from God. So He sent this song: “trouble me”. It was amazing at how well it was describing what I was going through.
Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Speak to me, don't mislead me, the calm I feel means a storm is swelling;
there's no telling where it starts or how it ends.
Speak to me, why are you building this thick brick wall to defend me when your silence is my greatest fear?
Let me have a look inside these eyes while I'm learning.
Please don't hide them just because of tears.
Let me send you off to sleep with a "There, there, now stop your turning and tossing."
Spare me? Don't spare me anything troubling.

One time I thought: I know that people lose their connection with God. Overtime it cools down and they find themselves not being in a close relationship. So how can I prevent that? And He sent me this song which told me: as long as you keep thinking about me, you will have a connection. The name is Remember Me.
Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me in your memory

 

[childofGod31]

continuation:

One song that I found very interesting was "The same sun". And because of what I see in it, it’s very touching to me.

The shadow of a 3 dimensional object is flat like paper. In other words, the shadow of 3 dimensional object is 2 dimensional. So that would mean that a shadow of a 4 dimensional being would be a 3 dimensional person. I am thinking that perhaps our spirit is 4 dimensional and our body is a shadow of our spirit. Anyways, that’s what I was thinking. So when I saw this song, these certain lines meant the following:

I will walk with your shadow and keep you warm - is equivalent of Jesus saying: I will never leave you nor forsake you, I will walk with you through the fire…

I will watch in your darkness, and bring you safely to the morning light. – God is watching over us while we struggle in being in the body, and being not too good, and He will help us to get it right.

And where there are hearts that live together in one soul, - We and God share the body/soul, since He lives in us

And if you wake in your night, remember that I will be here - when we realize that we are in the darkness of confusion, we should remember that God is always with us.

I cannot sleep tonight, I have you on my mind,
Even the wind is calling your name,
Though you are far away, I feel that you are near,
Whispering words from over the sea,
And if you wake in your night, remember that I will be here;

And like the same sun, that's rising on the valley with the dawn,
I will walk with your shadow and keep you warm,
And like the same moon, that's shining through my window here tonight,
I will watch in your darkness, and bring you safely to the morning light.

Where there is love like this, forever, for all time,
I will be there, wherever you lie,
And where there are hearts that live together in one soul,
Nothing on earth will keep us apart,
And if you're crying inside, remember that I will be here;
Same soul, same heart, oh, I love you I love you I love you,
Same world, same stars - you will be forever in my heart.