I just found out. My parents just had their 33rd anniversary. I've known there to be problems for at least 2 or 3 years now.
I don't know what to think or feel, but it's scary. I don't blame my mom for leaving - my dad has always been impossible and the past few years have been bad. He's not physically abusive but mentally he has been a little.
I'll try my best not to make this a long story. My dad struggles with depression and many medical issues. I worry he'll kill himself - he feels alone and told my mom he was just going to give up on life, and that he is angry with God.
My dad has always been possessive of her. When they first married, she wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was with his mother or him. Growing up he was that way of my sister and I - we weren't allowed to leave the home unless it was for school. Occasionally as we got in our teens we were allowed friends. Not very often though. I remember him growing angry when I wanted to go to a school dance and I wasn't allowed. He told my mom that he hated that my sister and I had to grow up, and he wanted us to be babies again. He also wanted me to have a baby and give it to him. All sorts of strange stuff.
I know he is insecure but obviously when my sister and I got older, we wanted better for ourselves. We never felt we belonged in our hometown. It took until I was 25 though - we left, went to college, got better jobs. Our hometown has no opportunities.
He is angry at us for leaving. I married into military life - so obviously I'm no where near home. My sister's husband got a fantastic job offer in another state and it's so good for them. I do believe when you marry, you don't tell your spouse that your father told you to stay in your hometown, and that our husbands should quit their jobs and get miserable, barely minimum wage jobs. But my father says we left him and we are not his daughters anymore. He wanted us to live in a trailer in his backyard, I kid you not! I don't think he wants us to have men in our lives but him. I know he loves us and it kills him for us to be gone - but what can we do? Should I just divorce my husband? Of course not. But it pains me that my father doesn't see anything but how we left him - like he didn't expect us to want to do better for ourselves? There isn't even college in my hometown... the only job I ever could find there was Wal-Mart.
So I'm scared, and I can't believe my parents are going to be divorced! I'm worried about my mom, being alone, too. I'm in another country so I can't do much. I'm worried about my dad. I don't know how to talk with my dad - I never did. The only thing he knows how to be is angry. There is no other emotion. There's no getting through to him either.
I don't know what to think or feel, but it's scary. I don't blame my mom for leaving - my dad has always been impossible and the past few years have been bad. He's not physically abusive but mentally he has been a little.
I'll try my best not to make this a long story. My dad struggles with depression and many medical issues. I worry he'll kill himself - he feels alone and told my mom he was just going to give up on life, and that he is angry with God.
My dad has always been possessive of her. When they first married, she wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was with his mother or him. Growing up he was that way of my sister and I - we weren't allowed to leave the home unless it was for school. Occasionally as we got in our teens we were allowed friends. Not very often though. I remember him growing angry when I wanted to go to a school dance and I wasn't allowed. He told my mom that he hated that my sister and I had to grow up, and he wanted us to be babies again. He also wanted me to have a baby and give it to him. All sorts of strange stuff.
I know he is insecure but obviously when my sister and I got older, we wanted better for ourselves. We never felt we belonged in our hometown. It took until I was 25 though - we left, went to college, got better jobs. Our hometown has no opportunities.
He is angry at us for leaving. I married into military life - so obviously I'm no where near home. My sister's husband got a fantastic job offer in another state and it's so good for them. I do believe when you marry, you don't tell your spouse that your father told you to stay in your hometown, and that our husbands should quit their jobs and get miserable, barely minimum wage jobs. But my father says we left him and we are not his daughters anymore. He wanted us to live in a trailer in his backyard, I kid you not! I don't think he wants us to have men in our lives but him. I know he loves us and it kills him for us to be gone - but what can we do? Should I just divorce my husband? Of course not. But it pains me that my father doesn't see anything but how we left him - like he didn't expect us to want to do better for ourselves? There isn't even college in my hometown... the only job I ever could find there was Wal-Mart.
So I'm scared, and I can't believe my parents are going to be divorced! I'm worried about my mom, being alone, too. I'm in another country so I can't do much. I'm worried about my dad. I don't know how to talk with my dad - I never did. The only thing he knows how to be is angry. There is no other emotion. There's no getting through to him either.
surround yourself with ministering friends. reach out and except any comforts, prayers, advice etc... that will help you process and manage through this.
