I think I'm gonna explode...

blairellis · May 9, 2006

Audiomechanic said:
I know a few really nice eclectic coffee houses around town that I know she hasn't been to (she's a Starbucks girl....she has no idea what she's missing!)

Say that when you ask her out.

Audiomechanic · May 9, 2006

nathan82 said:
Audiomechanic: I was in your situation last month. Putting everything into perspective, I definitely had these pre-concieved notions about her that were totally unjustified. It was my fault.

So I asked her out and got rejected. I don't regret asking her, but it made me look at the bigger picture. I don't know if I still like her, but I still want to be her friend.

Sometimes, in order to realize that, you just have to go for it. Definitely put much thought into it. Oh yea, and let us know how it goes! No matter the outcome, share with us what you learned!

10-4

Audiomechanic · May 9, 2006

blairellis said:
Say that when you ask her out.

Hmm.....not a bad idea! Double 10-4!

JPPT1974 · May 9, 2006

nathan82 said:
Audiomechanic: I was in your situation last month. Putting everything into perspective, I definitely had these pre-concieved notions about her that were totally unjustified. It was my fault.

So I asked her out and got rejected. I don't regret asking her, but it made me look at the bigger picture. I don't know if I still like her, but I still want to be her friend.

Sometimes, in order to realize that, you just have to go for it. Definitely put much thought into it. Oh yea, and let us know how it goes! No matter the outcome, share with us what you learned!

We all need to be look at things in perspective
And not point the fingers at one another
Just look at it from the perspective of others before asking people out
Just also be cautious but at times you do have to go for it and be prepared for the outcome either good or bad.

Jenster · May 9, 2006

Praying for ya, AudioMechanic!

Audiomechanic · May 11, 2006

Why thank you! Tonights the night, and oddly enough I feel strangly relaxed. I prayed about it last night and asked God if I was making the right move. I got a warm comforting feeling and I prayed for the Lord to keep my motives and intentions as well as my actions pure. I'm actually more relaxed now than I usually am on Thursday nights. Odd. I also feel strangly confident. I'M NOT COMPLAINING!!!!!! Well, we'll see how I feel an hour from now when I'm sitting in Bible study. Thank you all for the advice, I'll let you know how it goes.

JPPT1974 · May 11, 2006

Glad that you are now relaxed
Just take it easy and one step at a time
No need to rush ahead!

Beauty4Ashes · May 11, 2006

Good luck bro.......(I guess this means I'm not getting that ring now huh )but remember it might actually be a good thing if she doesn't want to go out with you right away. It would probably be better to get to know her as a friend first then you will really know what you are getting yourself into and either of you are less likely to get hurt. Don't pressure her to much and remember if God wants you two together, he will work it out in his perfect time. The right person at the wrong time can be just as bad as the wrong person.

Audiomechanic · May 12, 2006

Beauty4Ashes said:
Good luck bro.......(I guess this means I'm not getting that ring now huh )but remember it might actually be a good thing if she doesn't want to go out with you right away. It would probably be better to get to know her as a friend first then you will really know what you are getting yourself into and either of you are less likely to get hurt. Don't pressure her to much and remember if God wants you two together, he will work it out in his perfect time. The right person at the wrong time can be just as bad as the wrong person.

True that and of course you get the ring! You're always my first love!!!!!!

UPDATE:

The good:
1) Was able to talk to her like a person.
2) Was relaxed and confident
3) Made her laugh
4) Made her feel welcome around me

The bad:
1) Couldn't ask her out because I couldn't get her alone
2) My friend played defense and distracted her sister trying to give us time but to no avail.
3) Didn't get to spend as much time with her (they didn't go eat with us after Bible study like they usually do).

The funny:
1) I got up to go "Powder my nose" at the resteraunt and the entire group's conversation shifted to me and her!
2) Next week, the entire group is in on giving me and her some alone time (talk about awkward! :o ).

So, anyway it wasn't in God's plan for it to happen tonight. I prayed before the Bible study, "Lord, if it be not in your will, I pray it not happen." Well, it didn't so it wasn't in the Lord's plan yet. I feel confident that the Lord has in his plan some sort of future between me and her even if it's as friends, but asking her out isn't in his plan as of yet. Well, since the entire rest of the group is in on it, the only way to avoid it next week is if she or I don't show up!

Well, thar ya goo!!!

OhhJim · May 12, 2006

Audiomechanic said:
Ok, here's the background as long story short. I am naturally very shy and insecure around girls that I "like." I attend a singles Bible study and at this Bible study is a girl that I like. I REALLY like her. That said, I turn into a hyperactive booger eating moron when I'm around her. I just can't stop it.

Welcome to the club, bro. My advice is to date a few women who DON'T scare you to death, and build up your confidence and your social skills.

And, for all the people who will take issue, no I don't mean to lead those other women on and break their hearts. It's possible for a man and woman to have an enjoyable time together without making unreasonable commitments to each other.

Beauty4Ashes · May 12, 2006

glad to hear you were able to have a normal conversation with her. I'd just continue to do that and build a friendship with her.

Audiomechanic · May 12, 2006

10-4 to that. I better hurry though cause next Thursday, the whole group is gonna get us two together whether we like it or not (I'll like it!!! ).

Jenster · May 13, 2006

That's great news, AM! Well handled.

Praise God!

sherri · May 13, 2006

Glad to hear it all turned out so well. If you guys get togther, we're all invited to the wedding.

Audiomechanic · May 13, 2006

Jenster said:
That's great news, AM! Well handled.

Praise God!

Thank you!!!

Audiomechanic · May 13, 2006

sherri said:
Glad to hear it all turned out so well. If you guys get togther, we're all invited to the wedding.

Of course ya'll are!!! It's interesting though, all of my other relationships started like this:

1) Meet girl.
2) Talk to girl.
3) get girl's phone number.
4) Go out with girl.
5) become BF/GF.

All of the above would usually occure within a week.

This girl on the other hand, I've known for about 8 weeks and still don't have her phone number! Talk about taking things slow. I have her sister's phone number though (no, I'm not playing the field, I got it cause she called me to see if I want to go dancing with the rest of the group) so if I need to get a hold of her, I probably can in a round about way. From what I gather, this girl is kind of closed in. From what her friends and sister have told me, I have to get to know her pretty well as a friend before anything futher will progress. Here's what I think of this:

PRAISE GOD!

I'm tired of rushing into relationships. I was becoming quite discouraged because of how things were progressing as opposed to how I'm used to things progressing. Now, I respect her more than any other girl I've dated (even though I'm not dating her yet) because she is the way she is. Also, I'm starting to enjoy the "thrill of the hunt."

Anyway, I fill you guys in if anything else comes up.

-Shane

JPPT1974 · May 13, 2006

OhhJim said:
Welcome to the club, bro. My advice is to date a few women who DON'T scare you to death, and build up your confidence and your social skills.

And, for all the people who will take issue, no I don't mean to lead those other women on and break their hearts. It's possible for a man and woman to have an enjoyable time together without making unreasonable commitments to each other.

Welcome to the forums my friend
God bless you
Don't worry as I won't bite you
Really I don't bite!!
LOL!

Beauty4Ashes · May 15, 2006

Audiomechanic said:
Of course ya'll are!!! It's interesting though, all of my other relationships started like this:

1) Meet girl.
2) Talk to girl.
3) get girl's phone number.
4) Go out with girl.
5) become BF/GF.

All of the above would usually occure within a week.

This girl on the other hand, I've known for about 8 weeks and still don't have her phone number! Talk about taking things slow. I have her sister's phone number though (no, I'm not playing the field, I got it cause she called me to see if I want to go dancing with the rest of the group) so if I need to get a hold of her, I probably can in a round about way. From what I gather, this girl is kind of closed in. From what her friends and sister have told me, I have to get to know her pretty well as a friend before anything futher will progress. Here's what I think of this:

PRAISE GOD!

I'm tired of rushing into relationships. I was becoming quite discouraged because of how things were progressing as opposed to how I'm used to things progressing. Now, I respect her more than any other girl I've dated (even though I'm not dating her yet) because she is the way she is. Also, I'm starting to enjoy the "thrill of the hunt."

Anyway, I fill you guys in if anything else comes up.

-Shane

That's awesome. I'm rooting for ya. And I know exactly what you mean by that last part...same here.

God bless!

B4A

Audiomechanic · May 15, 2006

Thank you for the rooting! If you could make a banner and wear a foam finger...that would be great!

From the way she acts and all, my guess (and my friend's guess) is that she is guarding herself because she has been hurt before. She seems very cautious and weary of getting to know anyone too closely. She is very outgoing and outspoken in a group but just has that "ora," if you will, about her of her guarding herself very closely. Well, not sure if my assessment is accurate, but even if it's not, she's guarding herself for a reason. I'm kind of afraid of what might happen this thursday with the rest of the group knowing and all. I don't want to push her faster than she's willing to go.

I have been on both sides of the hurting equation. I have been the one hurt (three of my relationships...the last one resulting in a nervous breakdown that changed my life for the worse for years after), and I have been the one doing the hurting (two of my relationships...never cheated or anything, but used a LOT of manipulation and really damaged the girls I was with). I not only like this girl, but respect her and see her as not just another girl, but a sister in Christ. I do not want to hurt her...under ANY circumstances. I'm not sure how to procede at this point, or if to procede at all. She's a wonderful person but she is incredibly difficult if not impossible to read.

Hmm......I guess....pray for me!!!

EDIT: Also, I'm pretty sure that she at least kinda likes me back or is growing to like me. I guess I'll procede as her friend. Keep going down the same path that I am now.....the safe one. Her feelings and well being over-rule my impatience in my mind.

JPPT1974 · May 15, 2006

Beauty4Ashes said:
That's awesome. I'm rooting for ya. And I know exactly what you mean by that last part...same here.

God bless!

B4A

She is just trying to take her time
Maybe you should do the same with her
As well as yourself
Just be friends at first
Be yourselves and don't act phony.

I think I'm gonna explode...

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