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I think I totally fail spiritually

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BLuesphere

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I feel dead inside. Where I've tried and tried to pray I can't tell if I have results or not.

I am an agnostic and as much as I do my absolute best in doing everything I can in other peoples interests most people I have encounted give me the cold shoulder in return.

This has come across in all religions which I have attempted to gain some kind of information from.

My question is why bother? Why bother with anything if the world is as cold as it looks? I have tried to pray to "god" but the evidence in the existance of god for me have been convincing but not conclusive.

It's not about evidence I've been told... You need "faith" but how do I faith? It is not a feeling for me I do not know how to have faith as a whale knows how to fly.

I've been told to believe and pray to god and ask for Jesus to come into my life so that my sins can be forgiven and I can be accepted by god.

I have done this and many many times. Still nothing.

It's so frustrating and I honestly try to give so much to people. I really do think morals and ethics are important.

SO tell me what I am I doing wrong?

I can't tell what is what anymore I am aware perfectly of what mathermatics, logic and the nature of realitiy entails but there is much more and this IS what I feel.

I feel caged and only centermeters away from the key to get out.

I have read parts the bible, As much as I don't remember most of it I still can appreciate the philosophical views on ethics and morals. As it were most of it relates to it being what is required in becomeing a good christian.

However this is most of the moral aspects I already have.

But I don't get it. I understand the concepts of all of this well and I wont go into further detail but I just don't feel as if there is any point.

With the assuption that god is the altha and omega then there is a beginning and end to that. So there is ultimately an end logically as the word god only contains three letters. With this in mind what is the ultimate point? Or is there no point? Only that we are imperfect for a reason?

This again would require faith to have belief of this and this is a missing link which I find hard to fill.

I feel so alone, more so that you could ever imagine.
 

Spudgrandma

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I am sorry that you have felt you have been given the cold shoulder. I know it sounds trite, but Christians are just people, we are not perfect, we are just forgiven. We make mistakes and get caught up in our own lives, this is no excuse but it is a fact.

I hope you will not give up on God or christians. Please keep searching, the answer is there. This is a good place to ask those questions as there are a lot of very caring people here who will pray for you and try to answer your questions.

In the mean time, if you have not done so already, try this link as it may answer some of your questions. How to become a Christian

If I can help, please let me know.

God Bless
Spudgrandma
 
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Virgil the Roman

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I feel dead inside. Where I've tried and tried to pray I can't tell if I have results or not.

I am an agnostic and as much as I do my absolute best in doing everything I can in other peoples interests most people I have encounted give me the cold shoulder in return.

This has come across in all religions which I have attempted to gain some kind of information from.

My question is why bother? Why bother with anything if the world is as cold as it looks? I have tried to pray to "god" but the evidence in the existance of god for me have been convincing but not conclusive.

It's not about evidence I've been told... You need "faith" but how do I faith? It is not a feeling for me I do not know how to have faith as a whale knows how to fly.

I've been told to believe and pray to god and ask for Jesus to come into my life so that my sins can be forgiven and I can be accepted by god.

I have done this and many many times. Still nothing.

It's so frustrating and I honestly try to give so much to people. I really do think morals and ethics are important.

SO tell me what I am I doing wrong?

I can't tell what is what anymore I am aware perfectly of what mathermatics, logic and the nature of realitiy entails but there is much more and this IS what I feel.

I feel caged and only centermeters away from the key to get out.

I have read parts the bible, As much as I don't remember most of it I still can appreciate the philosophical views on ethics and morals. As it were most of it relates to it being what is required in becomeing a good christian.

However this is most of the moral aspects I already have.

But I don't get it. I understand the concepts of all of this well and I wont go into further detail but I just don't feel as if there is any point.

With the assuption that god is the altha and omega then there is a beginning and end to that. So there is ultimately an end logically as the word god only contains three letters. With this in mind what is the ultimate point? Or is there no point? Only that we are imperfect for a reason?

This again would require faith to have belief of this and this is a missing link which I find hard to fill.

I feel so alone, more so that you could ever imagine.
I thought once, where's all this evidence of God, then I realized, that the best example is right before us. How could man be here, and how he is without God existing to make, us humans? I invite you to OBOB, the One Bread, One Body Catholic forum to chat with us Catholic christians there, and if you've got any specific questions, I'll try my best to answer them.
 
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Breaking Babylon

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Salvation is not an oral contract you sign with God, my friend, it is a process that stretches out through our entire lifetime. It doesn't begin simply because you were pricked in your heart by a message and invited Jesus to come inside.

Isaiah 59:1-2 "Behold, Yahweh's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: 2but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, so that he will not hear."

Hearing the Gospel is step one. Believing the Gospel is step two. Then comes a larger step, called repentance. Repentance is more than saying "Come into my life, I'm sorry", there are actions to be taken. Specifically, turning around from your former lifestyle, taking up your cross, and following Christ daily. And then you are well on your way.

Get your head in the Bible, and study it with an open heart. You must humble yourself before you can be exalted. Step down from the platform which has been created through personal circumstances, spit out that which has been spoonfed to you, and begin fresh. Read the Bible. Seek God. PM me if you would like to discuss this further.

May God bless you abundantly with all that is profitable unto your soul, and may the Holy Spirit lead in truth.
 
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AllTalkNoAction

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I. . . most people I have encounted give me the cold shoulder in return.
This has come across in all religions which I have attempted to gain some kind of information from.

My question is why bother? . . .
SO tell me what I am I doing wrong?
..
BLue - I still have this PM in my sent box, sent to you on 13th September, I bothered, did you bother to at least go along and see ?

Hi Blue,
I know a lot of Adelaidian chriatians, and we can understand your confusion in knowing the right way coming from the "City of Churches".

Here's my story, how I searched for God and how he came to me . . . I know of no reason why you can't have the same success . ..

I was brought up church of England, but I only went because my dad wanted me to go, there was nothing inspiring there for me so when I left for Bristol University I stopped going. While there I started to consider the purpose of my life, and realised I didn't have one that satisfied me, "the world was my oyster", but there was no pearl !

So when some people who obviously believed in the bible spoke to me I decided to investigate properly. I started going to various church meetings and was told to pray a “sinners prayer”, believing, and as such I was "a Christian". For the next 18 months I continued going to meetings and reading books by people considered to be "Christian leaders" to try and work out God's will for me.

Then I met people who were not going to different churches and reading lots of books about God, they had a confidence and contentment I had not attained to, despite my efforts. I realised my relationship with God was mostly one-way, from me, not the daily, growing 2-way relationship they seemed to have.

They had received the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues (an unlearned prayer language that God leads his people in, cos only he knows his perfect will for us, it allows him to minister his grace & love to our hearts - 1 Cor. 14v2, 4; Jude 20-21). They also had other direct input and leading from God. After a while I realised I was getting nowhere spiritually so for the first time I actually prayed expecting God to *do* something... namely give me the same as them or whatever else I needed.

One evening I was alone in my room, not doubting or fearing, just believing God had said yes to me (because he could have no favourites), I spoke in tongues and in the days that followed I realised I had the Life spoken of in the bible, whereas before I was trying to be something I was not ! I used to worry and get bored, now I see God opening my understanding about why things are the way they are, and more importantly, what life can be like.

I left the old churches because I could see they was as I was before, not as I wanted to be. The church I'm now in is like the one in the new testament, all members have the new Life, we have a unity I never found before. I now have contentment and fulfilling purpose that only the living God can give. I am now able to know and live according to God’s nature because I have His heart and mind through the Holy Spirit in me.

* * * * *

In short, you must be born of God's Spirit to see (understand God and his kingdom) and receiving His Spirit, speaking in tongues *is* the "born again" experience . . .get this wrong and you go nowhere, spiritually, get it right and the Kingdom of God is your "Pearl of Great Price".

Feel free to get back to me, or get in touch with anyone at the Adelaide Revival Fellowship
(All the contacts on the website know me)

They all have what I'm talking about.
 
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Kehaar

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Welcome to the forums :wave:

I feel dead inside. Where I've tried and tried to pray I can't tell if I have results or not.

I am an agnostic and as much as I do my absolute best in doing everything I can in other peoples interests most people I have encounted give me the cold shoulder in return.

This has come across in all religions which I have attempted to gain some kind of information from.

I am sorry you have had this experience in the past, but you are very welcome here and I do hope we will be able to help in some way.

My question is why bother? Why bother with anything if the world is as cold as it looks? I have tried to pray to "god" but the evidence in the existance of god for me have been convincing but not conclusive.

It's not about evidence I've been told... You need "faith" but how do I faith? It is not a feeling for me I do not know how to have faith as a whale knows how to fly.

I've been told to believe and pray to god and ask for Jesus to come into my life so that my sins can be forgiven and I can be accepted by god.

I have done this and many many times. Still nothing.

It's so frustrating and I honestly try to give so much to people. I really do think morals and ethics are important.

I understand your frustration, I've been through this too, several years ago. I read and tried to pray, I was told I needed to believe, but it took me time to reach that point. You can't 'fake' faith, but continue to seek it and I'm certain you will gain it. :)

SO tell me what I am I doing wrong?

I can't tell what is what anymore I am aware perfectly of what mathermatics, logic and the nature of realitiy entails but there is much more and this IS what I feel.

I feel caged and only centermeters away from the key to get out.

You are doing nothing wrong, you are seeking truth, you say yourself that you feel there is more, you said you feel centimetres away from being freed. I think that you may be closer to all of these things than you realise.

Again, you're doing nothing wrong, you're doing everyhting right. :)

I know you're said that you pray/prayed and have read parts of the bible. I would perhaps suggest that you try to do this regularly, perhaps set apart sometime every morning or evening to really focus on seeking God.

I have read parts the bible, As much as I don't remember most of it I still can appreciate the philosophical views on ethics and morals. As it were most of it relates to it being what is required in becomeing a good christian.

However this is most of the moral aspects I already have.

But I don't get it. I understand the concepts of all of this well and I wont go into further detail but I just don't feel as if there is any point.

With the assuption that god is the altha and omega then there is a beginning and end to that. So there is ultimately an end logically as the word god only contains three letters. With this in mind what is the ultimate point? Or is there no point? Only that we are imperfect for a reason?

This again would require faith to have belief of this and this is a missing link which I find hard to fill.

I feel so alone, more so that you could ever imagine.

I am sorry, but I do not know what you are asking here, so I'm unsure how to reply to it. :sorry: Could you please clarify?
 
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hisbloodformysins

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I feel dead inside. Where I've tried and tried to pray I can't tell if I have results or not.

I am an agnostic and as much as I do my absolute best in doing everything I can in other peoples interests most people I have encounted give me the cold shoulder in return.

This has come across in all religions which I have attempted to gain some kind of information from.

My question is why bother? Why bother with anything if the world is as cold as it looks? I have tried to pray to "god" but the evidence in the existance of god for me have been convincing but not conclusive.

It's not about evidence I've been told... You need "faith" but how do I faith? It is not a feeling for me I do not know how to have faith as a whale knows how to fly.

I've been told to believe and pray to god and ask for Jesus to come into my life so that my sins can be forgiven and I can be accepted by god.

I have done this and many many times. Still nothing.

It's so frustrating and I honestly try to give so much to people. I really do think morals and ethics are important.

SO tell me what I am I doing wrong?

I can't tell what is what anymore I am aware perfectly of what mathermatics, logic and the nature of realitiy entails but there is much more and this IS what I feel.

I feel caged and only centermeters away from the key to get out.

I have read parts the bible, As much as I don't remember most of it I still can appreciate the philosophical views on ethics and morals. As it were most of it relates to it being what is required in becomeing a good christian.

However this is most of the moral aspects I already have.

But I don't get it. I understand the concepts of all of this well and I wont go into further detail but I just don't feel as if there is any point.

With the assuption that god is the altha and omega then there is a beginning and end to that. So there is ultimately an end logically as the word god only contains three letters. With this in mind what is the ultimate point? Or is there no point? Only that we are imperfect for a reason?

This again would require faith to have belief of this and this is a missing link which I find hard to fill.

I feel so alone, more so that you could ever imagine.
Hello Bluesphere,

Welcome! I'm going to quote, (but not quote) scriptures because I'm not doing this with a bible in front of me....

"no one can come to him unless they are lead by him" Those who do come to Christ, the faith, don't do it on their own accord, but it's because he draws them to himself. I think the key here is that you do care, you do want to know, you are searching. This is a little different from someone hardening their heart and simply deciding that they don't know if there is a God, and they don't care, or saying that there is no God at all. The fact that you are trying to make sense of this all means a lot.

Being good to people can drain you. There was a time in my life when I didn't want to be friends with christians, though I was one. I thought I'd rather be friends with atheists because "christians" can be so cruel in the name of christianity. But the truth is "no one is perfect, ALL have fallen short of the glory of God. No one has known God, no one has wanted to know God, there is no good in anyone...." I love that scripture, it is in Romans chapter 3. Jesus said "I didn't come for those who are well, but are sick". You see the falacy with "religion" is that people go to church putting on their best faces, snubbing their noses at what they think they should be snubbing their noses at, and pretending like they are all good. But truth is church is really just one big hospital, where the healed sick (AKA the pastor) give hope to the current sick (everyone else in the congregation). People who don't go to church just decide that they don't want to go to the hospital at all. I'm actually writing a book right now that is directed towards "Christians", helping them to connect with God, because a lot of christians are searching themselves and they think that they are being justified by fitting into the mold, though the truth is they've already been justified, but that is another story. That all has to do with trying to make christianity into a religion. Christianity is not about religion, it is about your faith. Not conforming your faith to another's faith, but rather being acquainted with your own. Let me ask you this, what DO you believe? It sounds to me like you believe there is a God, but you are having a hard time connecting to him, am I correct? And the reason you are searching is because there is something inside of you saying "there is a God, believe". But you are not sure and you are searching. A connection with God begins with yourself, and sometimes accepting your faith for what it is, whatever it is. What I would do if I were you (because this is how i cope with things) is I would "cast my care upon the lord". I recommend that you tell God in your quiet time, or whatever you are your feelings, doubts, needs... then let it go, stop worrying. Think about it this way, if he is real, he will make himself real to you. He won't let you down, because he indeed is real. That is not something for you to worry or concern yourself about. Seriously, if you have doubts there is a God, then what's the point in worrying about just leaving the responsibility into his hands. Because if he's not real and he doesn't ever answer you, then your question is solved. But you don't want to do that, do you? Because deep down inside you really don't want to give up on God. You have a genuine heart I think! God Bless you on your quest.

Lord, please help this young man find you, help him make sense out of everything. Please give him wisdom, understanding & insight and carry him, take care of him, bless him because he is seeking the truth. Take care of him like no one else would, show him yourself & your love and strenghten him in this difficult time of growth & understanding. Help him be stronger, and walk in sun shine. TY Lord!

Amen

hB
 
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BelindaP

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I am truly sorry that you are struggling spiritually. However, I know just how you feel. I was agnostic for quite a while in my youth, and I know of the aloneness and emptiness that you feel.

You mentioned that you don't know if God is hearing your prayers, but you actually have the answer. That empty feeling you were talking about is God reaching out to you. When He claims you for His own and you aren't paying attention (perhaps distracted by the effort), you can feel such an intense longing that it is painful.

People who are new to faith tend to think that it is a feeling or an emotion, when it is actually a decision. An analogy would be a bridge. When you approach a bridge on a river, you have to make a decision about whether to cross it or not. You don't know if it will hold you up. You see others crossing it and have some indication that it will probably hold you up, but until you step foot onto the bridge, you don't know for sure. You have to decide to step foot on the bridge, having faith that it will support you.

To have faith in God, you have to assume that God has accepted your prayer of repentance and act on it. Find a church fellowship. Pray as if you are certain He is listening. Before long I am sure that it will start to seem "right". When God's spirit enters your body, the emptiness that was there will disappear.

I know it's hard, especially if you feel like you have failed at this before. Anything based on human effort will ultimately fail. Just remember, salvation is not based on your efforts at all, but completely on God's. His hand is outstretched. Grab it!
 
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Endure2

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bluesphere

lifes hard man, and its confusing at times. and there are times when no one can help you, but you have to do it on your own for you to ever become the strong, self sufficient man or woman you are to be. like sometimes a child has to be left to cry and find his own way or hell never grow up.

there is no one out there who can give you the answers, and there is no one out there who can make this problem of "what am i supposed to do? this isnt easy or laid out...." go away.

this is what life is, this is what being a grown man or woman is all about, you have to find your place in life on your own, find what works for you on your own. becuase no one will or can do it for you.
im not trying to criticize you..but the questions you are asking are coming from what your heart has found in this life to be real and not real and its wondering what to do with it all.
and with that one, your on your own.

thats why your life is yours and the trail you choose to take is yours to blaze, its an adventure and its something you have to do yourself. your not alone in life, but there are things you cant receive help with.

i once heard,
"theres nothing better to turn a boy into a man, than self discovery"
you have to make these decisions over what you believe, what is important to you, what your going to do with your life, on your own. everyone else has to doit for theirselves to.
if you let someone else tell you, youll never be sure and youll never really know, youll always be lost looking for help in life, untill you start deciding these things for yourself and living with them yourself.

im not trying to sway you in any direction, i just think this is something you need to know, that those questions can only be answered by you.
goodluck man, this is your life, make the best of it.
 
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