I Spent 3+ Hours Typing This The Least U Can Do Is Read It

[help_the_lord]

this origionally started as a response i was gonna post to another thread.. after typing it all up it seemed to fit better here.. and then just get linked..

<Cracks knuckles to prepare for a bunch of typing>

It all started about 2 years ago maybe a little more I can't say an exact date because I don't remember... I had just moved out of an apartment I was sharing with my girlfriend.. I was unemployed and had been for the majority of the past few years leading up to this... I had been really depressed *a friend had killed himself... another went to prison.. I lost a good job at att and had not talked to alot of my friends in a long time*... I had started playing pool a ton.. And was in a pool league.. I had met a friend named mike.. For the remainder of the story you will need to know my girlfriends name was Holly.. I'm not going to refer to her as my girlfriend 10,000 times.. It&#8217;ll just be Holly...

So after I moved out I moved in with my mom.. At the time I was using pot alot and also selling it.. I drank quite a bit and was by all accounts a sinner.. Having pre marital sex all sorts of stuff.. So anyways holly and i moved into my mom&#8217;s house... we took her basement and make it like our little home.. I was selling drugs.. She was going to school full time and working two jobs.. My license was suspended so I was having a buddy of mine and her drive me around to my different customers.. So one day I had a dream that I got pulled over by a cop with weed in the car.. And he let me go scot free.. that same day I told holly and my buddy the driver *Wes* about the dream.. Later that night I had to sell some skunk to a friend of mine and Holly and I were driving along in her dad&#8217;s car.. We got pulled over.. Keep in mind this weed wreaked.. The cop told us our light was out.. And then let us go with a warning telling us to get it fixed... which I thought was odd..

Anyways.. Some time passed and a customer of mine was trying to sell some pit bull puppies he had.. He had one left named Diesel.. It was the color of a chocolate lab.. And it had green eyes.. He was absolutely beautiful.. And he only wanted $75.00 for it.. So figuring I could sell it for way more than that I bought it full well knowing my parents didn't want me to buy it.. My mom could not stand pit bulls and my dad did not want another dog, he already had one and was very happy to just have that.. I brought it home and my mom flipped out and told me I couldn't keep it there.. So I spent a couple days trying to sell it.. only to find that nobody wanted it except some hood type guys I knew who wanted to fight it.. I didn't want to sell it for that purpose so I decided I&#8217;d hold onto it.. Knowing that if I sent it to a shelter it would get put down since that&#8217;s the policy on pits.. He was way too cute and innocent *only about 6 months old* to do that to and there was no way I was going to..

My mom was like it's either get rid of the dog or move out.. I chose to go with my conscience and so I moved out.. And moved into my buddy Wes&#8217;s house with holly.. Wes&#8217;s dad only wanted us to stay there for a month so we were on a short time frame.. Somehow during that month I ended up getting taken advantage of in a weed deal and lost a bunch of cash.. So I decided I was tired of dealing with this weed crap and stopped selling it.. With that being said I no longer had a source of money and the little money my girlfriend had was being put to other uses such as paying for her credit card bill...

The month ended and we were forced to move out.. me and holly&#8217;s buddy willy had a room available in his house for a few months until his new roommate was supposed to move in so we decided to move in there.. Anyways at some point between living with my mom at first and this happening I had been talking to my buddy mike about conspiracy stuff.. He was huge into the illuminati stuff and all that jazz related to it.. I didn't pay much attention to it however I had been a vegetarian for about 6 months or so, he had managed to totally gross me out about meat.. *an important back story note was while still living with my mom I had a vivid dream about eating Bacon pizza.. This was while I was a vegetarian.. Because it was so disgusting to me.. It literally woke me up for my sleep.. I remember saying to myself in the dream there&#8217;s no way im ever eating that*...

so anyways... mike had got me interested in the conspiracy stuff he was into after he had told me jay z was in the illumatni/masons he had made a reference to that diamond thing he throws up being the pyramid and because he did it over his face his eye acted as the all seeing eye. the pyramid I mean is the same one that&#8217;s on the dollar bill.. any who that got me to do a ton of research which eventually lead me to believe that the devil was real.. after figuring out he was real I decided to do some research about the church of Satan to see if I liked it knowing he was real I might as well see what they had to say.. after going to the church of satans official website I realized I didn't like anything they had to say.. on the site they were bashing Jesus Christ of Nazareth..

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[help_the_lord]

so putting 2 and 2 together I figured God had to be real to.. *when I was still at my moms I was rapping alot I even went to an open mic night to rap they ended up asking me to get on stage and rap on a webcast* afterwards I was writing songs because I figured if I performed one there I would get attention of local producers.. after I came to conclude god was real I had decided I didn't like what I had been writing about and instead wrote a few songs I thought God would approve of.. one about respect racism another family another health and karma...
keep in mind at this point I still had never read the bible..

so moving forward back to living at Willys my girlfriend was working alot and so was willy so I had alot of free time on my hands.. I decided I wanted to read the bible.. it was at that point willy gave me his to borrow.. on a side note diesel the pit-bull did not get along with Baxter his 6th month old boxer the two of them tried to fight each other every time they were together.. anyways back to the bible.. I started at genesis figuring where better to start than the beginning.. I really couldn't understand what I was reading.. all of the sudden I heard a voice in my head narrating it to me in old English.. I asked the voice who it was and he said he was god.. I asked him why he was talking to me in old English.. and he told me because that&#8217;s how I would perceive his voice.. im like oh ok I guess that makes sense.. so I asked him can u talk to me in normal English and he said "sure I created all tongues ill talk to u however u want"..

at the time I had started coming down with the swine flu so I was sort of thinking I had lost my mind and was hallucinating.. since I did have a high fever.. so I asked him for a sign that it was really him talking to me.. after asking him that every time I closed my eyes while he was speaking to me *for about 3 days* I saw a bright glowing cross with an outline of Jesus on it... which was kind of sort of starting to convince me that I wasn't imaging things.. we kept talking he asked me to pray for forgiveness and had me recite alot of prayers accepting him and Jesus into my life.. I did that and I spent like 8 hours talking to him...

so I was sort of starting to think it was real.. and he began to explain to me how different times in my life where I should of died that it was him teaching me lessons.. and that&#8217;s why I didn't die.. I remember one time when I first got my license I decided to go 90 down a road that was 40 to impress my friend a light turned red and I was forced to make a skidding stop behind another car.. we came within inches of hitting it.. and I and my buddy were both freaked.. in fact the guy was so freaked that he ran the red light and left.. afterwards the cross air freshener that I had *just for novelty not really bcuz it was a cross* kept swaying for like a minute.. which I thought was weird.. he helped me recall these sorts of situations and explained why he did them..

anyways I was still not convinced I was talking to God so I said to him if you&#8217;re really god make my dog be friends with this other dog .. he said sure no problem.. he told me to put the 2 dogs together they would try to kill each other afterwards put them together again and they were going to be best friends.. so I asked holly to help me and I put them together.. we did and they tried to kill each other.. I restrained one after and she restrained the other.. I told her that we would have to put them back together again.. not telling her why and she declined saying she was tired and didn't feel like it "maybe ill help u tomorrow"... anyways I went to doing dishes and god was like you&#8217;re not finished.. u need to put them back together.. im like uh ok.. so I brought Baxter upstairs to where diesel was in the cage.. I was like what now? and he said just open the door.. I did and they began sniffing each others butts and licking each others testicles and then began running around the house chasing each other playing with toys.. they became best friends from that point forward.. almost like brothers..

so it was around this time that god shared with me what my calling was going to be *Im not going to share with you what it is.. however I will say that it ends in Israel and that I know how im going to die*.. *I asked him why he picked me for the calling and he told me I'm of the seed of Abraham* keep in mind my grandma was Hebrew thought I never celebrated any Jewish stuff.. in the middle somewhere I am supposed to use music for him.. with that being said I asked him what to do now and he told me to go talk to a guy I had met where I rapped he told me to show him one of the songs I wrote and I would get free production.. so I went there and shared the song about racism with him and he did in fact offer me free production.. I thanked him and left.. I told god I wasn't ready to do this yet.. He also told me he knew I wasn't eating meat because I was scared to get sick.. he said not to worry he would bless it for me so I would be fine.. I told holly this and she brought me home a bacon pizza thus fulfilling my dream *she worked at a pizza place at the time so her bringing home the pizza was common place to her.. bacon pizza used to be my favorite*..

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[help_the_lord]

afterwards he told me that I was going to own an alarm company, and that my girlfriend and I were going to break up for a while.. afterwards we would get back together and get married.. it was funny because I thought I could fulfill this that day and I tried to break up with her.. that lasted about 10 minutes.. lol anyways he then told me this stuff would all take place 2 and half years later, but in the meantime he was going to let Satan take over my life.. I wasn't going to willing let it happen Satan was going to trick me.. he told me not to be scared because he would protect me the whole time and nothing would happen to me.. I then thought there&#8217;s no way god would do this to someone.. it was at that point I was lead to read Job.. and saw that this was something he was known to do in the past..

sometime around that day he gave me some dreams showing me things that were going to happen like getting hired for an alarm company.. and this and that.. one important memory I had of a dream was remembering filling out the application for the alarm company .. it was important because I wrote my last place of employment was in AZ.. I live in Michigan so I thought I was going to be moving to AZ in fact I told everyone who would listen I was going to move to AZ.. anyways he led me at this time to become a messianic Jew.. well it started with me becoming a 7th day Adventist and a few services in I realized that I wanted to be a messianic instead.. so I ended up having a dream that I was living at my moms again after which I decided to ask her to move back in there.. she said sure as long as I got rid of the dog.. I found a nice Christian home for the dog and was happy to get my mom back for it..

after I moved back in God told me not to worry about getting a job he would provide one for me, I just needed to study.. so I spent alot of my time reading the bible and researching more about the devil in hip hop and other stuff that interested me.. anyways.. one day my mom really got on my case about getting a job so to appease her I put in like 3 aps.. right after putting one of them in me got a call about a job interview.. I went in for the first interview and aced it moving on to the second.. god told me I would get a job working for this company.. so I was stoked..

I went for the second interview.. and I had to follow the guy to a home depot store *the position was a marketing position for lead generation*.. I remember seeing a bumper sticker that said deacon on the back of his car so I was like bing done deal.. I talked alot about religion with him and told him I couldn&#8217;t work on Saturday.. I figured no biggy he would understand.. after the job interview was over he told me they would be doing a background check and would call me if I got the job.. I needed to get my license un suspended before then so I asked holly to help telling her god told me I would get a job at this company.. through some miraculous stuff I was able to get it back that very same day...

I remember I called the company and told them it might say my license was suspended but it was taken care of.. they were like cool we'll be talking to u soon... well days turned to weeks that turned to months.. no job came.. I was pretty confused.. and was starting to lose hope thinking I had imagined all the other stuff that had happened .. then on around new years eve holly bought me a bible since I didn't have one and had been using my mom&#8217;s bible.. it was a cheap 3 dollar bible from target.. if you&#8217;re ever there look for it.. its blue and tan and it says "The HOLY BIBLE" on it .. it&#8217;s the new king James and it&#8217;s made by nelson... anyways so new years eve rolls around and holly&#8217;s mom had asked us to watch her dogs.. because she was going skiing..

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[help_the_lord]

before I go into this part it's important to tell you my name is Robert James Morgan.. it was new years eve I was thumbing through the bible she had bought me.. it had an introduction.. I was reading through it when I came across this.. first it had the sinner’s prayer then it said

"if you've offered this prayer, be sure to let the person, church or organization that gave you this Bible knows about it. Or feel free to contact me at www.robertjmorgan.com, and I'll be happy to send you some information to help you with the first steps of your new Christian life. And now-- open these pages and begin enjoying your new remarkable, reliable readable Book!

Robert J Morgan
Nashville, Tennessee


(this is a bad camera phone pic of it) note if you go to www.robertjmorgan.com you'll see it's a pastor’s website

Just to give you guys a frame of reference here’s my bank card

so I told holly to come look this bible had my name in it.. she was shocked but after looking at it she saw that it did.. my faith was instantly restored.. as u could assume it would be.. Holly had worked for 2 weeks straight and had to work the next day she had to open the store at like 11 am on new years.. she was very tired and I was very sad about it.. so I prayed that she wouldn't have to work the next day.. I woke up to find her still there I asked why she wasn't at work and she said she fish tailed her car leaving the drive way on the ice and broke her axel on a rock.. nobody could fill in for her and so another manager covered her shift..

anyways months roll buy and it becomes like April.. I had given up waiting on the job at the company god promised me so I began to put my resume on craigslist.. I got a bite for a job labeled "windshield repair" I got called for an interview.. when I went in for the interview it turned out to be the exact same place I had interviewed at before.. it turns out the marketing company also did marketing for Chipio Windshield Repair.. nobody remembered me applying for the last job and I ended up getting the job.. at the company just like he had told me.. only it was a better paying job than the first one....


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[help_the_lord]

so god told me I was going to get my own apartment and I went to work.. a few months pass and the national sales manager came to town to whip our office into shape.. I really liked him and clicked with him.. and decided I liked the job he had flying around the country.. I wanted to do it too.. so I prayed about it.. it was after this that Satan made his move.. he came to me in a dream saying he was god.. he made it very obvious he was not.. he told me that I was going to die in a car crash.. I knew this wasn't true because god had already told me how I was going to die.. so I said to him in the dream your not god, he warned me Satan was going to come try to trick me.. and I woke up.. a few days later he came back pretending to be god again.. this time he said "you were very wise to figure out that was Satan I am god now let me show you what&#8217;s really going to happen" he showed me a series of dreams.. they involved me getting a job like the one Andrew had *the marketing manager* and me flying around the country.. he then showed me my supposed calling was going to end up with me playing poker and winning the wsop main event for a ton of cash.. and that I was going to become a very famous secular rapper afterwards.. he was playing to my flesh and my ego.. I was like sweet thanks god I want to do this stuff now though.. he&#8217;s like nah you won&#8217;t remember any of it.. and he flooded my sleep the next 30 nights or so with all sorts of dreams some of which ended up happening a bunch of others ended up being total malarkey..

after this dream flood I had totally forgotten about God telling me Satan was going to trick me.. obviously this was the plan from the start... I began feeling really bad that I was with holly considering I thought I was going to be marry this girl I would meet in Virginia.. I felt like I was living a lie.. I became very detached from her..

anyways Andrew left and I hired this guy to do windshield repairs *we built teams it was Multi Level Marketing*.. anyways he worked for like a week and then quit he told me he was on a mission from God.. he didn't want the job he wanted to offer me salvation.. I thought this was ridiculous considering what I knew but I asked him what I was supposed to do.. he told me to come to his church there was a prophet and apostle.. I agreed to go and he left..

that following Sunday I went to his church and for whatever reason I knew I had to bring holly with me.. it was there I met a false apostle and a false prophetess.. both of which I thought to be real at the time.. anyways after the service concluded the false apostle asked if anyone wanted a word from god from the false prophet.. they formed a line.. god told me to go up and to take holly with me.. so I did.. the prophetess started to tell me something and then said she lost the connection with the spirit and stopped.. afterwards.. she said to holly god knows you&#8217;re unhappy he wants to bring u joy.. I know u know what im talking about but I don&#8217;t want to say it in front of everyone.. step outside and ill tell u more.. so I waited around for her to finish talking to the lady.. and then I went out there to talk to her again.. she said sorry she forgot what she was going to say.. then outta nowhere she&#8217;s like oh I remember now.. god said you have a huge calling that won&#8217;t take place in the U.S., but I needed to stop being stubborn about stuff first.. anyways she then told me god would help me to do it by myself and coming back to the church there was not going to be of a service to me.. when we got in the car holly told me the lady had said that she was going to get married but she hadn't met her husband yet.. and that she was unhappy because of me.. the prophecy was partially true because I had been really distant towards her.. which was for obvious reasons discussed earlier..


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[help_the_lord]

anyways at the time I was convinced it was true because of what Satan had told me.. it all lined up perfectly... so anyways it was put upon my heart to break up with her and to quit my job.. I didn't want to do either one I was scared.. not that I didn't literally want to do either but I was just scared to do so because it was such an easy good paying job and I had been with holly for so long.. all this was around last Halloween.. my buddy/ assistant manager Gabriel asked me to attend a Halloween play that was being put on at his church.. and so I did I met a pretty women waiting in line which sparked a déjà vu I had of a dream.. anyways I waited with her in line for like a half hour she told me about her bad relationship and I told her I didn't think I was supposed to be in mine..

anyways we get through the play.. and afterwards there was a service.. I was sitting with her.. the minister asked everyone to hold hands.. afterwards he began to say a great transformation was about to happen in your life.. I figured since I was holding a strange girls hand hearing this it was a sign relating to my gf.. he then said look to the person next to u and tell them u love them.. so me and her did that to each other.. I then asked her if she wanted to go grab a bite to eat.. she said nah it was late and she wanted to get home however if I went to church that following Sunday she would get something with me..

that Saturday was a friend of me and holly&#8217;s Halloween party.. I had convinced myself I was going to break up with her after it.. after talking to our mutual friend alone it was made an even easier decision.. I got home and I had lost the nerve to do it.. however I accidently had locked her keys in her car.. she had a fit.. that gave me the necessary courage to do so.. we broke up and I cried and cried.. I was very sad...

that Sunday I went to the church looking for that girl but she wasn't there.. during the following week me and a pal I worked with applied to take over a co workers apt.. he wanted to move out.. I had terrible credit but once I saw it knew I would get it since I had a dream that I was studying the bible in it.. we found a few days later we got it.. I called holly and said a big reason we fought was I didn't get along well with my mom and neither did she.. maybe things would be better there.. we agreed and got back together.. a few days later I was buying towels at kohl&#8217;s with my new roommate for our apt when we went in I saw a girl that caught my eye unlike any I had seen she was an Indian girl and I felt like she had a glow to her.. I said to brad my roomy dude when we leave we're checking out in her line I want to talk to her.. I got to her line and chatted with her a few minutes afterwards got her # and got her to agree to a date with me the following Wednesday..

the next day or maybe it was the day after me and holly broke up for what I thought would be for good.. me and Sabina went out and had a great time.. she told me she had been asked out many times but had never said yes to anyone.. she had no idea what made her say yes to me other than that she thought I was "hot".. I lied to her and told her me and holly had broken up a month ago instead of a few days before our date because I didn't want her to think I was on the rebound.. she kept telling me she thought she'd seen me before.. and I guess she was on fb and found out why.. I had attended one of holly&#8217;s co-workers birthdays a few weeks prior this girl Z.. and Sabina was there I guess she was a friend of Z.. I had no idea I didn't remember seeing her at all.. anyways she put 2 and 2 together.. after seeing a photo with me holly and zanib on zanibs face book and told me she didn't want to talk to me again..

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[help_the_lord]

anyways like the next week I was still thinking about needing to quit my job.. saying to myself I had done half of what I needed now it was time to take care of the rest.. I was scared though.. I went back to Gabriel&#8217;s church the following Sunday hoping to see that girl again.. I didn't see her once again however the service was pretty unusual.. half way through the pastor stops everything and says "if anyone needs help from Jesus come to the front im going to pray for them".. like 100/200 ppl go up me included all that was on my mind was I needed help from Jesus to quit my job.. strangers I had never met kept walking up to me saying god said I shouldn't be scared to do what I needed to do.. I then walked up to Gabriel my boss and told him I need to quit my job.. he said "I know god said to trust him it'll be ok"...

so I put in my 2 weeks notice... and get through my first week.. my manager was out of town at the time.. she gets back that Friday and I tell her about it.. she suggested to me that I take a position for her called an event coordinator.. basically I would book venues for the sales ppl to sell out of.. she said if I did good I could do it across the country.. thinking this had to do with the earlier dreams I said I&#8217;d do it.. she told me to call the national event coordinator.. I did so that night.. he already had someone in mind for the position and told her not to have me do it..

the following Sunday I went back to the false prophet church to try to get some advice from the apostle.. I didn't get any.. anyways after the service I got a call from my mom.. god told me my granny was in the hospital she was on her death bed.. I said to my mom its grandma isn't it.. she said yeah how'd u know.. I was like I just did.. and I went to the hospital to see her..

she was in a sleep for like 24 hours.. I sat there with her praying with my mom.. and my mom left I kept praying.. my grandma had dementia and had demons in her.. I prayed they would be taken from her and put into me.. I could feel it as it happened it was like I went from ok to despair in like a matter of seconds.. I then left and cast them out of me in the name of Jesus after I left the hospital.. my mom called me the next day and told me she was awake.. I came to see her and after my mom left I prayed with her and she took Jesus into her heart.. God then told me she was granted more time..

her and my other grandma.. were both in the hospital the remainder of the week and I never ended up going back for my second week of work.. my other grandma got diagnosed with cancer..

anyways.. I went to a youth meeting at Gabriel&#8217;s church it turned out to only be me him and a girl.. he got to telling us about a 21 day fast he was lead to go on.. at that point it came to my heart that I should do a 7 day fast.. not a regular one because I also needed to turn my phone off and sit at home reading my bible.. god then showed me what I needed to eat to go into it safely and thus I did.. I spent that time studying his word.. in 3 days I read the entire new testament again.. and through the old testament up to kings


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[help_the_lord]

a few days in my roommate said to me "so what are u going to do Thursday for thanksgiving" and im like what? that&#8217;s this week?.. and so I prayed to god that I could break my fast early so my mom wouldn't worry where I was.. he let me.. that day I called Andrew to ask him about event coordinator positions within the company.. he told me he'd call me on Wednesday.. he did and told me to call this guy Ryan.. who told me about a position that was open in the company to be a mystery shopper.. I agreed to take it and he flew me out to NJ the following Monday..

He wanted to go for drinks literally all day that day.. I prayed to god for forgiveness saying I wanted to fellowship with this man feeling I was supposed to be there.. we drank all day.. and then we went back to our hotel.. I was told not to tell him anything about my God stuff.. I did however tell him I wouldn't be working Saturdays.. anyways I proceeded to begin flying around the country doing this job.. alot of the time with my friend Andrew.. eventually we got the Virginia.. and I met the girl Satan had said would be my wife.. she came onto me and gave me her #..

I asked her boss if I could take her out and he told me no.. that Saturday was a Christmas party there for them.. she ended up wearing a beautiful red dress.. this would become important later.. so I left and flew to Cali where I hung out with Ryan I did a bunch of dumb stuff under the guise of fellowshipping up to and including trying cocaine.. he left for Texas and I was told to drive from his apt in san Diego to la to visit an office there.. so I did...

I had some money issues come up because he was late on paying me as he had been several times.. I got really frustrated... told him I was going to quit.. as I started to make the drive back from la to san Diego I remembered doing it before.. I had gone really fast in my dream and had been just fine.. combining with the fact I knew I couldn't die because I know how im going to die.. I went 120 miles an hour through traffic most the whole way.. what was supposed to be a 2 and a half hour trip took me an hour and 45 minutes after stopping for gas half way through...

anyways Ryan called me the next day and asked if I wanted to fly out to Texas for one last week so I could get an extra weeks pay.. I said sure and flew there a few hours later.. he picked me up from the airport at like 7 pm and told me we were going to 6th street a famous place in Austin.. we were going to go to one of there local bars called the jack lope to meet a couple ppl from the Austin office.. we got there.. and we started drinking.. it was the night the colts lost to Vicks team in the playoffs.. I don&#8217;t remember what date that was... anyways I ended up drinking 7 shots of tequila, 2 vodka red bulls, a beer and a half, an Irish car bomb, a whisky coke, and a lemon drop in about 2 hours time Im 5'6" and only weigh about 145 lbs *once again things like this are less scary to do when you know u cant die* I did however black out and have an ambulance called for me.. I woke up the next day in

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[help_the_lord]

the hospital.. I had to take a breathalyzer to see if I could go get my rental car.. I blew a .13 12 hours later.. im not sure but I assume they pumped my stomach in between there..

anyways after that week I flew back home.. I was supposed to stay home for a weekend then go to san Antonio the following week.. this is where my granny with cancer comes in again.. I got a call from my mom saying she was in bad shape... so I decided to go see her.. when I got there she was in like a coma mumbling to herself I touched her hand and she yelped in pain.. I prayed to God that he would end her suffering.. I received word she died the next day.. Ryan gave me the rest of the week off for the funeral.. that following Sunday I went to a bar because I wanted to see a waitress I had met.. and I ended up drinking .. keep in mind about a year and a half before this I woke up out of a sound sleep after having a dream that I got pulled over and arrested.. I told holly about it and then prayed about it.. god told me it was going to happen and it would be for my own good.. anyways low and behold I got pulled over and arrested exactly like the dream..


somewhere before the arrest I went to visit my other grandma the one who had been in the hospital.. at the nursing home where she was living.. she couldn't move her legs and she was very depressed.. I asked her why don't you smile and she said "I don&#8217;t have a reason to smile anymore".. it was at that point I went into the bathroom and prayed the same thing I had about my other grandma.. god told me she was going to die before I could talk to her again.. and not to worry about it she was forgiven.. so I said my goodbyes to her and took this photo.. afterwards I told my mom I&#8217;d never see her again

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[help_the_lord]

anyways this dui lead to me getting fired from chipio.. which was obviously a huge blessing I was doing all the wrong stuff.. before I was officially gone though I spent what was supposed to be a week in NC training my replacement.. I ended up leaving a few days early.. the day after I got home I got a call from my mom saying she was on her death bed and come if I wanted to see her before she was dead.. she was in the pre death sleep and never woke up again.. she died 2 days later..


after which I began to talk to that girl from Virginia thinking still I was going to marry her.. I was broke.. and it was the week of valentines day.. I found some money in a bank account I hadn't thought much about and was able to send her flowers.. her birthday was a few days later.. my tax money came in way earlier than expected and so I was able to send her a birthday gift.. anyways she ended up telling me she was dating some dude and had been since October.. which was well before I met her.. I figured if she had been dating him then and had hit on me I was in the clear especially since I thought I was going to marry her.. anyways.. I went to a poker tournament at a local charity poker room.. half of the profits these rooms collect go to various charities.. anyways.. it was at this point I remembered the dreams about being a poker champion.. I began playing poker alot and talking to her alot.. I also started to practice my rapping as I remembered all of it at one time.. I ended up losing all of my money outside of 30 dollars... I had forgot I had to pay for the last months rent at my apt . I borrowed enough money from my mom to pay my rent and went to get a western union check, I ended up endorsing the spot they were supposed to sign so they couldn't take it, the store I got it at couldn't give me a refund saying I had to fill out a form and send it to western union because I had wrote on it already. I cursed God thinking I had trusted him and this happened, right afterwords apologizing saying I knew he would provide a way for me, I took my last 30 dollars to one more poker tournament and ended up winning (after a very unusual bought of cards I was dealt AA no less than 5 times (keep in mind the probability of getting AA is 220 to 1 ) it was enough for my rent plus enough to cover gas and my probation, afterwards my 5 month lease takeover ended and so I moved back in with my folks.. I was playing alot online in free tournaments and what not waiting on the unemployment I had filed to kick in.. I was going to use that to play online to fund my poker career.. it was about this time I got a letter in the mail from a church.. I remembered god had told me I would receive a letter from him when my spirits were low...

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[help_the_lord]

the letter said the following: Most of your battles will be fought inside your head. This is why your thoughts must be focused on God's new future for you. Think ahead.... not behind. God said "remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing" (Isaiah 43:18). Loneliness is not the absence of affection; it is the absence of direction. Change your focus to create a different future from any present. Do not exhaust energy trying to recapture the past... Focus on the productivity of tomorrow. You have the giver.. blessings are possible at every moment.

Receive this prophet word: "MY PRECIOUS CHILD, HOW I LOVE. I CREATED YOU TO EXPREINCE AND SHARE MY LOVE. DO NOT ALLOW THE THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE TO COME BETWEEN US. RATHER, UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS THE THINGS HAPPENING THAT SHOULD DRAW US CLOSER TOGETHER. ALL THAT IS HAPPENING HAS A PURPOSE. IT IS PART OF THE TEACHING I AM SENDING TO ALLOW YOU TO BE BETTER PREPARED FOR EVEN MORE WHICH WILL COME IN THIS WORLD, AND FOR THAT WHICH IS INEVITABLE IN THE COMING WORLD. MY CHILD, IN THE WISDOM OF MY GUIDANCE YOU WILL FIND THE WAY OUT OF DARNESS INTO MARVELOUS LIGHT; OUT OF UNREST TO REST; OUT OF DISORDER TO ORDER; OUT OF FAULTS AND FIALURES INTO PERFECTION. I HAVE STEADFASTLY SAID, FEAR NOTHING, LOOK EVER TO ME AND I WILL BE YOUR STRENGTH. AND I WILL BRING YOU PEACE AND ORDER. DAY BY DAY MY WORD WILL UNFOLD TO YOU. WALK WITH ME AND KNOW I AM THE LORD AND YOUR FAITH IN ME IS YOUR STRENGTH."

"DEAR CHILD, I REWARD YOUR SEEKING WITH MY PRESENCE. REJOICE AND BE GLAD, FOR EVEN NOW A WITNESS OF MY DIVINE ENERGY IS FLOWING IN AND AROUND YOU AND THE EVIDENCE OF THIS WILL BE COMPLETLEY VISIBLE AS MY DESTINED WILL BECOME KNOWN UNTO THE FLESH. I SAY UNTO YOU THAT ALL THINGS YOU HAVE FEARED ARE UNDER MY CONTROL. REJOICE AND BE GLAD FOR I WILL BRING YOU TO THE FOREFRONT IN ALL TEHSE MATTERS. KNOW THAT I AM YOUR GUIDE IN ALL THINGS AND NO PERILS CAN AFFRONT YOU. NOTHING THAT HAPPENS CAN EXHAUST THE POWER OF THE CONNECTION I HAVE CREATED FOR YOU. THE INIATION PROCESS IS AT PRESENT AND BEYOND THIS MANY MANIFESTATIONS AWAIT YOU. BE CALM, AS YOU ARE TRUE, AND KNOW THAT I WATCH OVER YOU, FOR I AM THE LORD WHO LOVES YOU BEYOND HUMAN UNDERSATNDING AND MANY THINGS I SHALL DO."

So we have heard the spoken word of the spirit, and it is very powerful. This is what we are led to relate to you, through the "word of knowledge" (1 Corinthians 12:8)... "YOU MAY HAVE THE UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING THAT YOU ARE JUST SPINNING YOUR WHEELS IN A CERTAIN PERSONAL SITUATION... BUT YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HAVE COMPLETE ACQUISTION TO THE PROBLEM... YOU HAVE ALLOWED TO MUCH PERSONAL AND EMOTIONAL INVOVLEMENT... THIS HAS MADE YOU TOO VULERABLE.. FAR MORE THAN YOU CAN SEE... AND IT IS ONLY THROUGH HOLY SPIRIT GUIDANCE THAT YOU WILL IN ANY WAY COME OUT VICTORIOUS. IT IS A MATTER OF PERSISTING AND FOLLOWING THE DICTATES OF YORU HEART... IN SHORT, THE OUTCOME RELIES WITHIN YOUR RESOLVE."

There are many things going on in your life all at one time, you are at a place in life where it is critical that you decide whether you will go with the Creator or let your faith go otherwise. GOD HAS BIG PLANS FOR YOU AND SATAN WILL DO ALL THAT HE CAN TO DESTROY THESE PLANS. YOU ARE AT A CRITICAL CROSSRAODS IN YOUR LIFE... EVERY DECISION IS IMPORTANT.


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[help_the_lord]

I kept reading my bible and studying, I managed to read all the way through it.. also somewhere in between there I fasted for 3 days, after receiving 3 packets of Emergency in the mail that i had sent for months earlier.. I kept playing online poker just waiting.. then one day bam.. all 3 major poker sites got shut down in the united states *poker stars full tilt and absolute poker* they can still operate in other countries but not in the us.. also I had stopped talking to Jordan.. the more I got to know her the less I wanted to Marry her.. she drank alot and smoked.. and lied to me a few times.. and a few other things.. anyways I erased her # from my phone and deleted her from my facebook.. and what have u.. this was later confirmed to me to be a good idea when i ran across a clip of the women in the red dress from the matrix.. remember i said when i saw her last she was wearing a red dress.. the spirit lead me to realize in my life this women and the women in that clip were the same one..

http://youtu.be/MXQozTxQSiE <-- if your not familiar with this scene here is the clip

not to long after that it was becoming clear that I wasn't going to qualify for my unemployment since my job had paid me under the table.. at which point I started to look for a job.. I saw a listing for an alarm company sales job.. *Satan had made counterfeit dreams showing me working for this alarm company, I was very unhappy and didn't like what I was doing ethically in the dreams, however it wasn't until after I started that I figured it out*.. anyways I told my mom when I saw the add I was going to apply and they were going to hire me.. since I had some recollection of the fake alarm company dreams.. at which point my mom saw an ADT commercial and told me I should try to get a job with them.. anyways I called them that Friday a few weeks ago and they set me up with an interview for the following Monday..

that Saturday I went to a bowling tournament with my dad.. while he was bowling I went to a Chinese restaurant down the street.. I had a déjà vu about eating there.. so when I got the fortune cookie I felt it was important.. I opened it and it said "don't be hasty prosperity is about to knock on your door" I figured it probably had to do with the interview but I decided to go anyways.. I went in and they offered me the job.. I took it even though it seemed to go against the advice of the cookie..

the next day I went in for training.. and found the sales ppl who were training me rope a doping customers into signing up without telling them all the details.. they weren't really lying as much as they were doing things in a shady manner.. I didn't like this at all.. I also noticed almost all the signs I saw for alarm companies were ADT and when these salesman tried to convert them to there product they all declined despite being offered more equipment and cheaper rates.. the next day as im driving to work I decided I couldn't go through with it and I turned around..

I told my parents I quit and went on craigslist looking for another job.. after about an hour or less of putting out resumes a newly created add popped up for selling alarm systems.. this time it was ADT.. I called and I was set up for an interview the following Monday.. anyways I called holly to ask her if she wanted to go to Gabriel&#8217;s wedding.. keep in mind I had been thinking about her alot for the past few months

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[help_the_lord]

crying bcuz I loved her and missed her.. I felt helpless in the situation though because I had thought I was supposed to marry the girl from the dreams.. she declined the invite but hearing her voice brought me to a crying fest after I got off the phone..

I decided forget all the dreams I had had.. I was going with love and I was going to try to get her back.. I called her *every time I had called her the past few months she didn't want to talk to me* anyways I told her I love her and I wanted her to be my bride someday.. and that I wanted to be with her again.. she told me she'd think about it and I could call her in a week or so... so after that and after I got the job at ADT.. I had mentioned earlier that when I applied for this job i put my past job was in AZ.. and it was Chipios headquarters is located in Phoenix AZ thus fufilling my dream perfectly without ever actually moving to AZ.. god finally restored my memory to me and brought me memories of everything including the fact that I was going to work for this ADT place and be very successful until I had enough money to open my own.. and as I said I will be getting back together with holly and i'm gonna Marry her.. so that&#8217;s where im at now.. I started selling ADT systems today.. and I have an appointment set up to write up a deal..

I would say "the end" but my life is really just starting

 

[brinny]

This is BEAUTIFUL. What you have here is a "blog". It's chronicling your thoughts and your journey with our Abba, and it is precious. Do NOT be discouraged, but carry on, in a "blog", here, on CF. Send me a link when/if you do.

God bless you. Keep on keepin' on.

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

Subscribing

 

[help_the_lord]

This is BEAUTIFUL. What you have here is a "blog". It's chronicling your thoughts and your journey with our Abba, and it is precious. Do NOT be discouraged, but carry on, in a "blog", here, on CF. Send me a link when/if you do.

God bless you. Keep on keepin' on.

lol oh, I guess i never really knew what a blog was.. I mean i've heard of them but i've never gave it much thought.. sounds like a good idea I'll definitely consider it

 

[brinny]

Please do. The scope of what you are covering has depth and dimension to it. God is laying on your heart, to perhaps, share your journey, your testimony, in the form of a "blog" or "journal". In it you can give on-going testimonies, experiences with God, and the "assignments" He places you in, and reflect on this journey, and how God is 'developing" you as a son of the Most High God.

In a way, David did so with the Psalms. He shared his own journeys, and struggles, and the love for his God. In it all, God was pleased with DAvid, and called him the "apple of His eye", which i find delightful. David's "journey-ing", as recorded in Psalms, is an inspiration for those of us struggling with similar difficulties. Journals have always been used, even years later, to inspire others to "journey on" in their own journeys.

Keep on keepin' on. God bless you