I ruibned it

[dobieman0488]

Ok, here's the story
i broke up with my messianic jew girlfriend because i realized i was still in love with my ex who went to college, (she and i talked the whole time)
she called me 2 days ago and told me that she slept with someone at school, i lost it, completely, because i asked what happened between her and this other guy (i knew they hung out and had a relationship), briefly. She also got on me for talking to her friend. I feel like i said a lot i shouldn't have said on that night, but i couldn't help it, she lied about it before, and it kills me. I really hurt her with what i said, and I feel horrible. I ruined my chance at getting back with the most amazing person ever, advice needed.

 

[dmhforJesus]

Pray and ask God for his divine guidance in this situation. If it is meant to be for you and this girl then he will soften her heart in order for her to be forgiving to you. PRAY PRAY PRAY !!! Thats my advice and BE VERY APOLOGETIC (SINCERELY apologetic) And if she doesnt accept your apology right away be humble and DO NOT get defensive about why you said the things you said (which is human nature) continue to be remorseful NO MATTER HOW HARD it is.......

 

[Blank123]

who is " the most amazing person ever", the messianic girl you just broke up with or your ex before her?

 

[dobieman0488]

the girl before her

 

[Blank123]

okay well its good that you recognize that you did something wrong in the way you were speaking to her.

The obvious thing to do is to apologize to her if you haven't already and just remember that she's not your girlfriend and not your wife. If she chooses to share with you what she's done with other guys she doesn't have to answer to you for what she's done. if she evades or lies to you thats most likely an indiciation of her level of respect or trust in you. You can call her on it (gently) and tell her it hurts you when you know she's lying but the fact is she doesn't owe it to you to give you the details of her relationships.

If she's in a relationship with someone now, and from what you've said it sounds like she is, then you need to forget about getting back together with her. You can patch things up and apologize for what you've done but you've got to respect her relationship and give her and her boyfriend space. and who knows? give yourself enough distance from them and you might find its easier for you to move on.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Wait, so, I don't get it. Did she sleep with a guy before you, or did she sleep with a guy while you two were in a relationship?

 

[dobieman0488]

well, we were kind of on a break, and agreed to see other people

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Then you have no right to flip out on her for it. On a break is nothing. Either you choose to get with her again, or you choose not to. You leave her to her own life choices.