I really need prayer...

[-GodsGirl-]

I've been running from God for the past few months. Mostly cause I was listening to the lies of the devil telling me it's to late and there's no way I'd make it into heaven, just stuff like that. So I started acting irresponsibly and doing dumb stuff cause I though hey he's right there's no way I'm going to heaven. I've come to realize now how foolish I am to listen to those lies.

It's not so much that I don't have discernment, because I know when the devils feeding me lies. It's just that I listen to them. Which I feel like is even worse since I'd rather listen to the devil then God. I just find it hard sometimes to really trust God when I haven't really experienced him but I have definitely experienced the devil. I know what the bible says and I'm really trying to read it everyday. It just makes me question my intentions when I literally have to force myself to open the bible. Like I don't get it? I'm all talk but no action. It's so confusing. I confuse myself.

I just want to be sincere when I pray and speak to God. Sometimes when I'm praying I think..am I really being genuine right now? It's very irritating. I struggle with obsessive thoughts so it's not like I can let those thoughts just leave my mind right away. They fester and I start to believe them because I think well if it won't leave my mind is it a sign? It's such a vicious cycle.

Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart.

I mean these are the things I want. But why don't I get them? I get very upset thinking about this because I wish my spiritual life wasn't so difficult.

Thanks for your time

 

[gloriousday2006]

I've been running from God for the past few months. Mostly cause I was listening to the lies of the devil telling me it's to late and there's no way I'd make it into heaven, just stuff like that. So I started acting irresponsibly and doing dumb stuff cause I though hey he's right there's no way I'm going to heaven. I've come to realize now how foolish I am to listen to those lies.

It's not so much that I don't have discernment, because I know when the devils feeding me lies. It's just that I listen to them. Which I feel like is even worse since I'd rather listen to the devil then God. I just find it hard sometimes to really trust God when I haven't really experienced him but I have definitely experienced the devil. I know what the bible says and I'm really trying to read it everyday. It just makes me question my intentions when I literally have to force myself to open the bible. Like I don't get it? I'm all talk but no action. It's so confusing. I confuse myself.

I just want to be sincere when I pray and speak to God. Sometimes when I'm praying I think..am I really being genuine right now? It's very irritating. I struggle with obsessive thoughts so it's not like I can let those thoughts just leave my mind right away. They fester and I start to believe them because I think well if it won't leave my mind is it a sign? It's such a vicious cycle.

Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart.

I mean these are the things I want. But why don't I get them? I get very upset thinking about this because I wish my spiritual life wasn't so difficult.

Thanks for your time

I am praying for you! I know God can get you through this. Take all of your concerns to Him, and don't give into the LIES of the enemy. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Don't let the confusion and false thoughts lead you away from the one who has the power to save. It is not too late!! Pray to God, tell Him what is going on, tell Him your fears, ask Him to come into your life and transform you into a new creation. God can make all things NEW. What is impossible for man is NOT impossible for God.

Just know, that it is not a sign that you are beyond forgiveness! You can be transformed! Those thoughts are lies from the enemy to keep you from the truth. God sees your heart, and knows you better than you know yourself. Your prayer is beautiful, "Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart." God sees this, and will not turn you away. Keep seeking, stay strong in the Lord, NEVER give up hope. There is NOTHING more important than your relationship with JESUS.

Matthew 11:28
28Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls

Luke 18:27
26Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?” 27But Jesus said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

John 6:37
36But as I told you, you have seen Me and still you do not believe. 37All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never turn away. 38For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but to do the will of Him who sent Me.…

Romans 8:38
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.…

 

[Anguspure]

I've been running from God for the past few months. Mostly cause I was listening to the lies of the devil telling me it's to late and there's no way I'd make it into heaven, just stuff like that. So I started acting irresponsibly and doing dumb stuff cause I though hey he's right there's no way I'm going to heaven. I've come to realize now how foolish I am to listen to those lies.

It's not so much that I don't have discernment, because I know when the devils feeding me lies. It's just that I listen to them. Which I feel like is even worse since I'd rather listen to the devil then God. I just find it hard sometimes to really trust God when I haven't really experienced him but I have definitely experienced the devil. I know what the bible says and I'm really trying to read it everyday. It just makes me question my intentions when I literally have to force myself to open the bible. Like I don't get it? I'm all talk but no action. It's so confusing. I confuse myself.

I just want to be sincere when I pray and speak to God. Sometimes when I'm praying I think..am I really being genuine right now? It's very irritating. I struggle with obsessive thoughts so it's not like I can let those thoughts just leave my mind right away. They fester and I start to believe them because I think well if it won't leave my mind is it a sign? It's such a vicious cycle.

Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart.

I mean these are the things I want. But why don't I get them? I get very upset thinking about this because I wish my spiritual life wasn't so difficult.

Thanks for your time

I'm with you on this one sister.

 

[paul1149]

May I suggest the classic book, Atomic Power with God, through Fasting? I discovered it recently, and am finding fasting, properly done, to be a powerful tool for breaking the logjam. It's online.

 

[Pilgrim]

I've been running from God for the past few months. Mostly cause I was listening to the lies of the devil telling me it's to late and there's no way I'd make it into heaven, just stuff like that. So I started acting irresponsibly and doing dumb stuff cause I though hey he's right there's no way I'm going to heaven. I've come to realize now how foolish I am to listen to those lies.

It's not so much that I don't have discernment, because I know when the devils feeding me lies. It's just that I listen to them. Which I feel like is even worse since I'd rather listen to the devil then God. I just find it hard sometimes to really trust God when I haven't really experienced him but I have definitely experienced the devil. I know what the bible says and I'm really trying to read it everyday. It just makes me question my intentions when I literally have to force myself to open the bible. Like I don't get it? I'm all talk but no action. It's so confusing. I confuse myself.

I just want to be sincere when I pray and speak to God. Sometimes when I'm praying I think..am I really being genuine right now? It's very irritating. I struggle with obsessive thoughts so it's not like I can let those thoughts just leave my mind right away. They fester and I start to believe them because I think well if it won't leave my mind is it a sign? It's such a vicious cycle.

Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart.

I mean these are the things I want. But why don't I get them? I get very upset thinking about this because I wish my spiritual life wasn't so difficult.

Thanks for your time

Welcome to Christian Forums. I'm praying for you. God's will be done. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Search me, O God, and know my heart:

try me, and know my thoughts: ​

And see if there be any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting. ​

—Psalms 139:23-24 (KJV)​

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Thanks for commenting ! Your encouraging words really do help I'm praying that God will give me strength and that I won't give up..

 

[Aseyesee]

I've been running from God for the past few months. Mostly cause I was listening to the lies of the devil telling me it's to late and there's no way I'd make it into heaven, just stuff like that. So I started acting irresponsibly and doing dumb stuff cause I though hey he's right there's no way I'm going to heaven. I've come to realize now how foolish I am to listen to those lies.

It's not so much that I don't have discernment, because I know when the devils feeding me lies. It's just that I listen to them. Which I feel like is even worse since I'd rather listen to the devil then God. I just find it hard sometimes to really trust God when I haven't really experienced him but I have definitely experienced the devil. I know what the bible says and I'm really trying to read it everyday. It just makes me question my intentions when I literally have to force myself to open the bible. Like I don't get it? I'm all talk but no action. It's so confusing. I confuse myself.

I just want to be sincere when I pray and speak to God. Sometimes when I'm praying I think..am I really being genuine right now? It's very irritating. I struggle with obsessive thoughts so it's not like I can let those thoughts just leave my mind right away. They fester and I start to believe them because I think well if it won't leave my mind is it a sign? It's such a vicious cycle.

Anyways, I would like prayer to seek God with all my being and that I would let down the walls I've built up and let God really see me and search my heart.

I mean these are the things I want. But why don't I get them? I get very upset thinking about this because I wish my spiritual life wasn't so difficult.

Thanks for your time

It may not seem like it right now, but your footsteps are ordered.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

It may not seem like it right now, but your footsteps are ordered.

Proverbs 16:9:

"A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps."

 

[Martyr's Crown]

I will also pray for you -GodsGirl-.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Thanks everyone I have also been struggling with what some say a religious spirit. I think that's what it's called. Like thinking if I don't read my bible then I'm a bad Christian and that God would choose someone else to help instead of me in a time of need. Just weird stuff like that that's I don't want to believe but for some reason think that. Idk it's weird.

All of this has just been stressing me out and I feel that God isn't listening to me. It's very upsetting but I'm trying to have a positive outlook. But when I feel like this 24/7 it's hard to see any good coming from this.

 

[-GodsGirl-]

Let me correct myself not a religious spirit but maybe thinking my salvation is based on works. Ya, that's what I meant. Anyways I don't know how to solve this inner conflict. It's like i know it's wrong but I still can't think differently. And i wasn't raised that way or been to a church that has taught that but yet I think that way. It's very odd.

Sometimes I really think something is wrong with me mentally like for some reason I can't truly believe in God or truly repent or truly find salvation because I'm lacking something mentally. It's a weird feeling but that's what I think sometimes. Idk if any of you have had this problem but I pray you haven't. Any advice would be amazing I've really been struggling and it's horrible. It feels like I'm in hell. All I want to do is sleep because I can't deal with what I'm going through.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Let me correct myself not a religious spirit but maybe thinking my salvation is based on works. Ya, that's what I meant. Anyways I don't know how to solve this inner conflict. It's like i know it's wrong but I still can't think differently. And i wasn't raised that way or been to a church that has taught that but yet I think that way. It's very odd.

Sometimes I really think something is wrong with me mentally like for some reason I can't truly believe in God or truly repent or truly find salvation because I'm lacking something mentally. It's a weird feeling but that's what I think sometimes. Idk if any of you have had this problem but I pray you haven't. Any advice would be amazing I've really been struggling and it's horrible. It feels like I'm in hell. All I want to do is sleep because I can't deal with what I'm going through.

I don't know if I may have gone through the exact same, but a few years back I struggled with doubt. I didn't doubt about God's existence, but I did worry about my given abilities and authority in Him through Jesus Christ. Sometimes I could also worry about my salvation, worried about God no longer accepting me as His child. During this time I also struggled with a lot of anger and unforgiveness, yet I still longed for God and cried out to Him. It was a very difficult time for me, and God felt so far away from me. It was really horrible! A little seed of doubt can really 'cause a lot of damage if it keeps on getting nurtured, if I wouldn't have let it take much root within me I might not have gotten into all this anger and unforgiveness, nor struggled so much as I did back then.

But everything bad we experience can be used for something good in Christ Jesus, we will learn from it and get growth through these times too, as long as we keep on seeking God. Each new year which became new it did got better and better, step by step I managed becoming stronger and better focused. Although still in need for God's help and healing, though we will always need God's help during any walks we have in life.

In the start of this year 2017 I have gone through spiritual attacks/battles which came very sudden on me. I did plan getting closer to God during this year and build up my faith in Him stronger, though in my mind I expected it to take some time. But God's plan was definitively different than mine, and instead of taking it slow, all of my faith which doubt had been stealing from me came back to me. It got thrown all over me in a much quicker way than expected, I am still amazed by how God worked it out. He also let the enemy attack me directly, something I wasn't too pleased with in the beginning, as funny as it might sound. I was very upset and angry at them. I sure felt a bit afraid in the start, but I didn't stay this way long. Much other emotions were involved too, it was quite a big mess. But through it all; God came to my rescue. Also correcting me, getting my attention.

My point is; My faith got back to me in an unexpected manner, and even though I couldn't fully accept it at first how some of plans got messed up because of the enemy, I am learning to accept it more now. The enemy have their schemes, whilst God has a plan. God needed my attention quicker put on Him so that He could start working on His plan in mind for me, as time is ticking these days and the day of His Son Jesus Christ's return is at hand. Now I do feel grateful for this, even though I still need to keep on working on my attitude. I need to focus more in keep on growing closer to Him as well as waiting patiently and getting prepared by Him for what He wants me to do for Him. The enemy are still there too, but God will keep on protecting me, and being near to me. I am not afraid.

Keep on seeking God, GodsGirl. You will be in my prayers for the coming time, may He make you stronger faithed in Him, and having an ardent love towards Him, be founded in His truth and Word. Being a shining light in this world always aflame for Him, and bringing up Jesus Christ as your banner for all to see. I believe in you, GodsGirl! And the one who believes in you the most is God, He is cheering you on, telling you to keep on running this race.

God keep on blessing you! And keep on having faith in Him!

Remember; that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Meaning you can do a lot through a little bit of faith, and once you start nurturing this little faith it will grow bigger.

 

[Aseyesee]

In the end, no thought no problem; it's the lesson of Adam, and subsequently every lesson of everyone after him as to what happens when we let our soul rule over us.

Thoughts are like seeds to the soul ...

 

[-GodsGirl-]

I don't know if I may have gone through the exact same, but a few years back I struggled with doubt. I didn't doubt about God's existence, but I did worry about my given abilities and authority in Him through Jesus Christ. Sometimes I could also worry about my salvation, worried about God no longer accepting me as His child. During this time I also struggled with a lot of anger and unforgiveness, yet I still longed for God and cried out to Him. It was a very difficult time for me, and God felt so far away from me. It was really horrible! A little seed of doubt can really 'cause a lot of damage if it keeps on getting nurtured, if I wouldn't have let it take much root within me I might not have gotten into all this anger and unforgiveness, nor struggled so much as I did back then.

But everything bad we experience can be used for something good in Christ Jesus, we will learn from it and get growth through these times too, as long as we keep on seeking God. Each new year which became new it did got better and better, step by step I managed becoming stronger and better focused. Although still in need for God's help and healing, though we will always need God's help during any walks we have in life.

In the start of this year 2017 I have gone through spiritual attacks/battles which came very sudden on me. I did plan getting closer to God during this year and build up my faith in Him stronger, though in my mind I expected it to take some time. But God's plan was definitively different than mine, and instead of taking it slow, all of my faith which doubt had been stealing from me came back to me. It got thrown all over me in a much quicker way than expected, I am still amazed by how God worked it out. He also let the enemy attack me directly, something I wasn't too pleased with in the beginning, as funny as it might sound. I was very upset and angry at them. I sure felt a bit afraid in the start, but I didn't stay this way long. Much other emotions were involved too, it was quite a big mess. But through it all; God came to my rescue. Also correcting me, getting my attention.

My point is; My faith got back to me in an unexpected manner, and even though I couldn't fully accept it at first how some of plans got messed up because of the enemy, I am learning to accept it more now. The enemy have their schemes, whilst God has a plan. God needed my attention quicker put on Him so that He could start working on His plan in mind for me, as time is ticking these days and the day of His Son Jesus Christ's return is at hand. Now I do feel grateful for this, even though I still need to keep on working on my attitude. I need to focus more in keep on growing closer to Him as well as waiting patiently and getting prepared by Him for what He wants me to do for Him. The enemy are still there too, but God will keep on protecting me, and being near to me. I am not afraid.

Keep on seeking God, GodsGirl. You will be in my prayers for the coming time, may He make you stronger faithed in Him, and having an ardent love towards Him, be founded in His truth and Word. Being a shining light in this world always aflame for Him, and bringing up Jesus Christ as your banner for all to see. I believe in you, GodsGirl! And the one who believes in you the most is God, He is cheering you on, telling you to keep on running this race.

God keep on blessing you! And keep on having faith in Him!

Remember; that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Meaning you can do a lot through a little bit of faith, and once you start nurturing this little faith it will grow bigger.

Thank you for this! It's very encouraging hearing a little bit about what God has done for you It means a lot that you took the time to share this with me. I will continue to seek the Lord, even through the times (now) where I feel like it's going nowhere. I'm praying for a break through! Thanks! God bless