Hi everyone, my story has led me to this point. I am sitting alone on a Sunday afternoon, desperately in need of some love and friendship, just helpless and starting to feel rather hopeless too.
I became a Christian 6 and a half years ago. At the time, I was still dealing with an eating disorder (I am overweight) that had persisted since I was about 14. Prior to age 14, I was in a boarding school and had anorexia (weighed about 70-75 pounds and was the tallest girl in my class, surrounded by constant competition by the other girls to be thin and not eat). My struggle has been with depression which is hereditary in my family, and just a total lack of self-esteem. My parents divorced when I was 8, in a very messy situation that left the community gossipers with plenty to churn in the rumor mill. I was molested as well, but as a result I think I became overly needy for my parents. I am 25 now. My brother died when I was 16.
I am a medical student (second-year) but I am just so lonely. I refuse to meet my four best friends (who live around the world) because I am overweight. I moved to a new town to start med school and don't know anybody but I am convinced that even the Christians aren't too interested in getting to know me because I'm fat. I have nobody whom I meet outside of class. Absolutely nobody. I have never had a boyfriend. The height of my social life is travelling to meet my mom who lives 45 minutes away. That's really it, and whenever my friends call, which is hardly ever. This is a cold hard fact.
I feel like lately God isn't speaking to me that much anymore. I've kind of stopped reading the Bible because of it. I feel like His promises are for other people. I want to find someone too, get married, start my career (even a nice job over the summer would be great, I've never worked because I'm too scared to send off applications for jobs) and start living. BUT my overweight - I would like to lose about 50 pounds) just stops me in my tracks. I need help - please, if someone has a heart to pray for this, please pray that God would break this bondage and free me. I cannot explain in words how lonely and crippling this is - I cannot live this like another day. Please pray for me.
I became a Christian 6 and a half years ago. At the time, I was still dealing with an eating disorder (I am overweight) that had persisted since I was about 14. Prior to age 14, I was in a boarding school and had anorexia (weighed about 70-75 pounds and was the tallest girl in my class, surrounded by constant competition by the other girls to be thin and not eat). My struggle has been with depression which is hereditary in my family, and just a total lack of self-esteem. My parents divorced when I was 8, in a very messy situation that left the community gossipers with plenty to churn in the rumor mill. I was molested as well, but as a result I think I became overly needy for my parents. I am 25 now. My brother died when I was 16.
I am a medical student (second-year) but I am just so lonely. I refuse to meet my four best friends (who live around the world) because I am overweight. I moved to a new town to start med school and don't know anybody but I am convinced that even the Christians aren't too interested in getting to know me because I'm fat. I have nobody whom I meet outside of class. Absolutely nobody. I have never had a boyfriend. The height of my social life is travelling to meet my mom who lives 45 minutes away. That's really it, and whenever my friends call, which is hardly ever. This is a cold hard fact.
I feel like lately God isn't speaking to me that much anymore. I've kind of stopped reading the Bible because of it. I feel like His promises are for other people. I want to find someone too, get married, start my career (even a nice job over the summer would be great, I've never worked because I'm too scared to send off applications for jobs) and start living. BUT my overweight - I would like to lose about 50 pounds) just stops me in my tracks. I need help - please, if someone has a heart to pray for this, please pray that God would break this bondage and free me. I cannot explain in words how lonely and crippling this is - I cannot live this like another day. Please pray for me.
's to you.~~~peace to you.
