After treating my GF like gold and trying to understand her and love her for 3 yrs; also during and after the break up how can some women (especially Christian women) just not know how to treat a man with respect, after he has done that to her. I took her out, gave things to her (not that these have anything to do with love, but it does help). How does a man cope with denial and rejection after I sent an email saying thanks for the last 3 yrs and she emails back with "i'll treat this as harassment, if you don't stop emailing, even though it was just a few emails" I know humans are humans, but don't you think that maybe she feels guilty in the way she treated me. I know people are probably reading this and saying, "man, this guy won't let it go" Well, i'm having a hard time with letting go and coping with denial and rejection right now. I have lost my best friend other than God and it hurts big time. I feel empty half the day, i know, i take it day by day, but it gets to take a lot out of me. As you can tell I loved her very much. Thanks for reading and your comments.
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I really don't understand women....
- Thread starter bgus88
- Start date
xJesus.Freakx
Junior Member
Wow
What was her reasoning for breaking up with you?
A lot of the times during relationships like that, the guy feels like he's really good at being a "good boyfriend" in your case, treating her like Gold, taking her our giving things to her etc... but what if that's not what she really wanted?
I can't leave out the girl though, its usually just as much her fault too...apparently though in this case, you liked how she was treating you!
so that's good. But in relationships so serious communication is very, very important!!
I don't know if you guys did talk about what things the other would like in your relationship...
Recently me and my boyfriend have been going through some tough times...I don't like the way he's been treating me but I can't really tell him about it...i had thoughts of breaking it off, but I really feel like he is the one who i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with So, it'll take time and pain but he'll come around.
I don't know where you guys stand on faith, but the biggest reason that we're not doing so great is because God is lacking in our own personal lives and when the foundation isn't there, the house will fall...
I hope this helped you some but please if you'd like to talk more don't hesitate to PM
What was her reasoning for breaking up with you?
A lot of the times during relationships like that, the guy feels like he's really good at being a "good boyfriend" in your case, treating her like Gold, taking her our giving things to her etc... but what if that's not what she really wanted?
I can't leave out the girl though, its usually just as much her fault too...apparently though in this case, you liked how she was treating you!
so that's good. But in relationships so serious communication is very, very important!! I don't know if you guys did talk about what things the other would like in your relationship...
Recently me and my boyfriend have been going through some tough times...I don't like the way he's been treating me but I can't really tell him about it...i had thoughts of breaking it off, but I really feel like he is the one who i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with
So, it'll take time and pain but he'll come around. I don't know where you guys stand on faith, but the biggest reason that we're not doing so great is because God is lacking in our own personal lives and when the foundation isn't there, the house will fall...
I hope this helped you some but please if you'd like to talk more don't hesitate to PM
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Luther073082
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Recently me and my boyfriend have been going through some tough times...I don't like the way he's been treating me but I can't really tell him about it...i had thoughts of breaking it off, but I really feel like he is the one who i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with
My lord why not???!!!!!
Now that would outright tick me off if a girl didn't like how I was treating her but wouldn't say anything til she just got so annoyed and broke up with me.
Do you expect him to just read your mind and know how you feel? How do you expect him to change how he treats you when for all he knows thats what you want?
BE OPEN and HONEST.
But thats not all his fault if it is also lacking in your life too. So improve your own relationship with God.
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Oh man, that is terrible. Women, they are complicated creatures. A woman does not want to be with a man that loves her more than he loves him. This is why early dating is so complicated, and why relationships continue to remain complicated. A woman will treat you better if she feels like she's lucky to have you, if she feels like maybe you're a little better than she feels she could get on the "open market." The way to do that is to not be the best boyfriend in the world. Don't always do nice stuff for her, don't always do what she says. Give some resistance. Hang out with your friends sometimes instead of her. Do little stuff that annoys her. This will show her that, though you love her, she does not consume you and dominate your world. It shows that a breakup would not destroy you, and that you'd be fine without her. I may sound like a terrible boyfriend, but oh my goodness, it works so well.
That being said, don't treat her like crap. Don't make plans and then ditch her. You want her to think about you, to complain about you, not to hate you. As you get further into it, you'll have to do this less, but this kind of stuff helps keep it interesting.
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I did some stuff like that but i did also ditch a few times because assignments in school came up.
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Mrs. Luther073082
Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3
The harassment comment was out there and really unneccessary (unless she's already asked you politely to leave her alone and you didn't, in which case you would be harassing her). However, honestly, she wouldn't be doing you any favors if she was keeping in touch. It would just take longer to get over if you were still communicating --- like pulling a bandage of really, really slowly. Its better that the two of you just go completely in seperate ways.
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Mrs. Luther073082
Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3
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xJesus.Freakx
Junior Member
I try to tell him but he changes the subject!! Its like he doesn't want to hear it! I can't help that at all! I wish i could
It's really hard to communicate with someone who isn't willing to! And as for my relationship with God, I am working on it! It's a continuous thing that I have to be aware of everyday, and it is getting better.
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peanutbutter12
Senior Veteran
Something tells me it was a little more than a few emails judging by your other posts on this topic.
Time heals all, but constantly reminding yourself of what happened won't help you. Pick yourself up, find something that keeps you occupied. You will find over time that the pain will dull.
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It was a combination of 5 emails that she and i replied to each other. before that she said she wanted a break and not a break up she did not tell me why or what i could do to help. She did not tell me to stop communicating she just stopped with me. After thanksgiving i asked her cousin who goes to school with me what my ex said about us and she said, "sounds like you guys are just taking a break or something like that." at this point I was totally confused still am for a matter of fact. She just stopped all communication with me. It kinda hard just to forget about it after we were talking marriage just one month before and we were both getting excited about it. I don't know what I did to hurt her or if it's her. I know i need to pick it up, but its just not that easy.
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If she did ask me to leave her alone it wasn't in plain english and i don't play head games. the "night" we "broke up" she just told me to move on for no other reason than that, I was so taken back I didn't know what to say. I thought to myself what have I done to her or what is it she's going through. I thought to myself can I do to help her out with what shes going through, but girls don't work that way (at least my ex does not). I didn't know she didn't want anything more to do with me I thought it was something short term. I am not a guy to bring someone down or start swearing at someone. I at one point called her immature for not communicating with me (which is something i truly regret saying and one of the things I asked for forgiveness later with a sincere heart, but she shot it down like fire.)
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Mrs. Luther073082
Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3
Unfortunately now she has made it quite clear that she wants to be left alone.
I don't think anyone in this thread said you were the type that swears and brings people down...
Anyway, I know its tough that you don't have an explanation for why she left but like I said before its better in the long run that she is cutting off all communication. Both of you will move on faster.
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waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
"Picking it up" doesn't mean we don't allow ourselves time to grieve in the proper way. It doesn't mean we dwell on our ex, but it does mean we need to deal with our emotions properly. Guys are usually inclined to try to brush things off and act tough on the outside and be a man about it. Suck it up and move on. I'm very much like this
So while I agree that dwelling on your past relationship and all the "why" and "what if" questions you're having isn't healthy, it's equally as detrimental to just bury your pain.
Your ex's unwillingness to communicate at all creates complications because it makes it difficult for you to get the closure you really want. But it's kind of like forgiveness- just because someone doesn't apologize doesn't mean we can't forgive them, though it's usually easier when they DO. Even if your ex never speaks to you again, you can still move on in time.
praying for you
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it's been very hard the last week and I have been praying for his healing power and his will but its hard to not think about my ex. i try to dwell on other things and go out with my group at church and for a while it has helped but she keeps popping into my head. i am still confused and am trying to hear His voice but as i told one friend my mind is like jello right now and it is effecting my job and school. and yes i do talk to a counselor and have gotten some help from him, but there's only so much he can do for me. i have not tried to make this all about me and my selfish nature and it probably sounds like i have, i have asked God to help me overcome this thing in my life. i know i can with his help.
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