I pray for death

[EnforcedBliss]

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost, so broken, so unwanted, uncared for. I don't belong here, I don't belong anywhere, I'm sorry. I probably shouldnt be posting. But I'm out.. I can't do it alone anymore. I'm giving myself up, 100%. All I want to do is die, why is that so much to ask for?! No one would notice, no one would care, they already tell me they wouldnt. My own family. I don't have anyone... or anything, to keep me holding on... please... someone help me...

 

[Araith]

God notices, God cares, and he always will. Remember that, and remember you are a child of God, a chosen person, special, unique, whether those around you see this or not it doesn't matter.

Don't give up, God never gave up on you...so don't give up on him, he's with you, forever and always.

I'm praying for you...Don't give up, God loves you.

 

[silentpoet]

I know what it is like to feel worthless. There is something I have always desired in this life. And I thought God had finally come through, when it all came crashing down on december 17th last year. Now I deal with those old familiar feelings of worthlessness and being a LOSER. Yet though it does feel that way at times, it is not true.

God does not think that of me or you. He died a painful death for you. He, Lord of the Universe, Father of Creation, thought you right now, right here were worth that price. You are the pearl of great price Jesus spoke about. Jesus knew you before you were. Jesus chose you and chose to suffer for you. He is not wrong in that. He knows your worth better than you because He paid your price.

 

[tapero]

Dear EnforcedBliss,

I have asked God to take me also, but He does not, and I don't think He will since death is the enemy. I also noticed that when I asked for death that things seemed to get worse for me. So, now I ask for Him to return quickly instead.

I, like you, would rather be with God in heaven than here on earth. I think many of us would. Paul did. In Phillipians 1:23,24 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

No one cares for me either, yet I need to hold on to the hope that I have in Christ Jesus. If anything, fight for your life, you are a worthy daughter. It is the evil one who would want your light snuffed out.

Please find friendship and fellowship here. PM me or anyone you like and you will find support. I have found a couple of friends online and they have been like a lifeline to me.

God Bless you, Tapero

 

[Glaz]

My heart goes out to you. the only advice I can give is to hang in there. Maybe tommorrow is the day things get better.

 

[Sketcher]

Life itself is a gift from God, and He has a mission for us all. There are things He created you for that only you can do, there are people that only you can reach.

I used to wish for death constantly. But now, I no longer do. There's a lot to live for, and a lot left to do. God has shown me that I have a purpose, and that I can make it through with His help. I'll pray for you.

 

[ukok]

You care enough to post, because somewhere deep down inside, you hope.

hope is sometimes all that we feel we have, and sometimes, we believe that there is no hope...this is a dillusion, it isn't factual. there is always hope. there is a very real chance that there will be a brighter future ahead of you, but if you had your wish, and you lost your life, you would never know what could have come of your life.

Do you have anyone to talk to in 'real time' ... A friend, or a tutor or counsellor?

I will be praying for you

God Bless.

 

[Tazi]

Dear sister, Im here for you, your not alone.. I care. Im thinking of you, pls write (PM) me...

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost, so broken, so unwanted, uncared for. I don't belong here, I don't belong anywhere, I'm sorry. I probably shouldnt be posting. But I'm out.. I can't do it alone anymore. I'm giving myself up, 100%. All I want to do is die, why is that so much to ask for?! No one would notice, no one would care, they already tell me they wouldnt. My own family. I don't have anyone... or anything, to keep me holding on... please... someone help me...

 

[heartnsoul]

In life, there will sometimes be a little rain, clouds and cold weather. The key is to keep persevering and trusting in God that all things work together for the good. Before you know it, sunshine will be around the corner. So hang in there and take your pain to God during those tough times. EVERYONE goes through hard times in life and it's not fun. Growing pains especially are painful. But know that you can always learning SOMETHING through bad times.

Draw closer to God right now and curl up in the palm of His hand until the sun comes back around to shine on you! God bless you.

 

[lonnienord]

JESUS loves you so much HE died for you!! GOD has something important for you to do that only you can do. You are an important part of HIS plan.

all for JESUS!!
lonnie

 

[Tazi]

sister.. we worship what we bow down to. if you bow down to your feelings, that's what you will worship..listen to what the scriptures say about you rather than what your feelings say... as silent poet said above, you are "the pearl of great price Jesus spoke about."
and "child of God, a chosen person, special, unique,' as Araith said above..
God knows your value, and so do we.... you're important and you have a purpose, whether you know it now or not.. God loves you so much, His son died for you! that's love..
pm me any time,
love, pam

 

[AngelusSax]

Aside from "Hang in there", I will offer this:

The 23rd Psalm. Especially the part about walking through (not to) the valley of the shadow of death.

Also, the book of Job.

The point is, we all have to go into the valley, but Jesus is with us always, and the Comforter (Counselor) is with us always.

As the Good Shepherd, God will lead you, His sheep, through the valley and onto the mountain in His time.



God is not the author of mistakes, and God is the author of you. Therefore, please know that you are not a mistake, your life is not a mistake, and that God is there for you always. I hope this has provided at least a modicum of comfort to you. If you want to talk with me further, I'm just a PM away.

 

[smooze]

Dear EnforcedBliss,

So, now I ask for Him to return quickly instead.

hi i don't think there is no hope there is options and support groups in your area and help. TO respond to this quote i say Remember in Revalations that Jesus will not return until the whole world has heard the Gospel. This process is going to take awhile. In your area or talk to your DOC he can set things up for you
GOd BLess and you do have brothers and Sisters in Christ Bless his holy name

 

[ukok]

Moderator Note:

this thread has been moved from Christian Advice so that EnforcedBliss can hear from others who have shared a similar experience, and so that they can post here to encourage her

God Bless.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You're here for a reason. You didn't ask to be here. But God put you here.
Now you gotta figure out what that reason is.
Although none of us were asked how we wanted to be thrown into this world, we all have the choice to hammer out our existence as best we can. And in the hammering process our purpose on earth takes shape.

 

[wayfaring man]

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost, so broken, so unwanted, uncared for. I don't belong here, I don't belong anywhere, I'm sorry. I probably shouldnt be posting. But I'm out.. I can't do it alone anymore. I'm giving myself up, 100%. All I want to do is die, why is that so much to ask for?! No one would notice, no one would care, they already tell me they wouldnt. My own family. I don't have anyone... or anything, to keep me holding on... please... someone help me...

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
For by it the elders obtained a good report.
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh.
By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went.
By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise:
For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.
Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable.
These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country.
And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned.
But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city. <-----> Hebrews 11:1-16

There was a time when I felt as you do .

In fact the day I sensed that my soul was now heaven bound , I prayed that I would die in my sleep that very night .

Then , that night I had a dream , which was a vision , in that it was " very real " . In the dream I'm driving my car on a wet curvey road along a coast .
As I try to round a corner , that is much sharper than I expected , the car slides off the road and tetters on the edge of a high cliff overlooking a rocky angry sea . It pauses motion for a couple of seconds , and then gives way to gravity and slides down , nose first like an airplane crash would feel , I see the huge rocks with waves crashing over them and open my mouth to scream , but no sound comes out ... then , the impact occurs , I see the front of the car smash into a big boulder and hear the sound of metal crunching and glass breaking ... and feel pieces of windshield fly into my face .
Next there was a bright flash of light and then utter stillness for just a moment , and now , I'm feeling gravity lose it's grip upon me , and all the weight I used to feel burdened by is lifted off , and I'm floating effortlessly upward , at a slow and steady rate . I look down to see the car I was driving mangled upon the rock with the oceans waves beating upon it every few seconds as I ascend higher and higher , until I am in the clouds and can see nothing but a thick cool mist all around me .

And then I hear a voice , a calm loving voice , say unto me , " It's okay , you can go now . " And immediately , my entire life flashes before my eyes , and in a second , I see everthing I ever said and did in my entire life , and I'm suddenly ashamed ... For I see how that I had done so many things ... but none of them matter , none of them had any value . And the one thing which I could have done , which I should have done - That , I neglected to do ! Namely , share the faith which was given me with others , so that they to might find The Way to be " Heaven-bound " as well .

This suddenly terrified me , that I would have to spend all of eternity , with this shame of knowing that I didn't care enough to share the greatest gift ever given with anyone else , but had chosen to " jump ship " in a lifeboat with room for many others , that now held only me ; and I could anticipate my Rescurer's question as succinctly being , " Were you , the only one , that could have been saved ? "

So , I pleaded to the voice which had said , " I could go now " , and cried , " No , I want to go back , I have to go back ! " To which the voice replied , " If you go back , you risk being worse off , than if you come now . " But , I was persuaded , going back was the right thing to do , regardless of the risk , so I said with conviction , " I don't care . I want to go back . I'm willing to take that chance . "

And then , I awoke , everything was strange and fearfully foreign to me , I had no idea who I was , where I was , or what was going on . Then , I remembered the dream , and what I had prayed for , before going to sleep , and the awareness of my life came back to me . Though , I was now , no longer looking for an opportunity to " bail out " of this world .

And there was evidence that I had not only had experienced a dream about dying , but had also experienced a heart attack at the time of the dream , and so it was not - Just a dream , but a real encounter with departure from this earthly life .

After this experience , I attempted to share The Gospel with many people , but found it difficult with most people , ( not just because of the way the were , but because of my lack also ) , nevertheless , some people demonstated a marked positive effect , and that made all the seemingly fruitless efforts worthwhile ; but my struggles were far from being over , and I fell into a dark time in my life where , I once again keep selfishly thinking about how dying would end this earthly travail ... But Christ came to my rescue once again - Thank God ! And He affirmed His love towards me and encouraged me to continue on fighting against my selfish urges and exercise the faith given me , by sharing of The Testimony of Jesus and The Word of His Holiness .

This was some years ago , and I'm glad I went through it all , But I wouldn't want to have to go through it again ... because it is " learning the hard way " , but whatever it takes to get through to us , The Lord has an arsenal of avenues with which we may be persuaded of The Truth , and because He Loves us , so very much , He'll use whatever He can , whenever it's necessary , because our eternity is at stake !

Now , note in the quoted passage above , how that men and women of God " died in faith " , that is , they kept the faith given them , they used that faith to do God's bidding , they didn't bail out because times were tough , and now they are eternally thankful that The Lord chose to use their mortal life for His Glory and His Kingom's sake , and they are still serving as an example unto us !

Dear EnforcedBliss , and all who stuggle in this flesh ,

The teens and early twenties are one of the most difficult of times for us . It gets better with age ... especially when we find some way to serve Christ , which gives a meaning and a significance to our mortal life that far supercedes all the negative aspects of being human .

Be A Part Of The Cause

Because when we get to Heaven -

There won't be any lost which need saving .

There won't be any wounded to heal .

There won't be any sick , or imprisoned to visit .

There won't be any poor to clothe and feed .

There won't be any downtrodden to uplift .

Or any who need our humble assist .

There are opportunities here , amongst the rubble ,

Which won't ever be found again , anywhere else !

There are pearls of great price and jewels fair and rare ,

Though they be covered with slime , silt , or debris .

They're just waiting for someone to pick them up

And wash them off in the water of Christ's Camaraderie !

Blessed are they who give of themselves for The Kingdom of Heaven's Sake , for behold , the days are coming , and are now even here , wherein a person will lament every idle hour , every wasted word , every selfish thought , for when the full scope and the astounding nature of The Lord's Blessings , reserved for His faithful servants are revealed plain as day , in our sight , there will be no room for any more doubts concerning all that we have done , or neglected to do , and what was truly worthwhile . Even so , Amen .


The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise. <-----> Proverbs 11:30

[ May we win them for Christ's sake .]

And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. <-----> Romans 13:11

(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.) <-----> 2nd Corinthians 6:2

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. <-----> Hebrews 12:1-6

For goodness sake , may we meditate upon The Lord's Word , so that His thoughts become our thoughts , and His Ways , do become our ways .

For that's what it's all about !

[ By doing the right which we've neglected to do , the darkness of our past is chased away , by the Brightness of our Future .]

[ When we do something for Jesus , all that He's done for us becomes much clearer . ]

May we seek our part , find our part , and do our part - To the Glory of God and Praise of Jesus Christ . Amen .

Peace and Joy , In The Beloved .

wm

 

[soyness]

You need some lovin'.
God loves you.
Neither life nor death, angels nor demons, height nor death nor any other can seaparte us from the love of God (romans 8:38)

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I am praying for you! Things may seem like things will not get any better, but they will. All you have to do is pray and trust in the Lord. If you need anything PM me. Hugs, KiM