I need your opinions!

[anett]

Hi everyone,

We'll have a youth retreat this weekend and our theme will be: commitment in different aspects. On Saturday I got to do a talk show on boy-girl relationships , how to find the real ONE and what to do untill he/she appears. Please tell me if you have a great testimony on this area, which proves that it is worthied to wait! Thanks a lot!

 

[Yitzchak]

My wife and I both fasted to find the Lord's will.

There was another woman previous to my wife who wanted to marry me. She went on a ten day fast and at the end told me that God told her I wasn't the one and broke up with me.

It is tempting to settle but the old cliche is true. When it is the right one, you will know if you are willing to relaly listen to God and to your heart.

 

[lancers1990]

which proves that it is worthied to wait

If by this, you mean worth it to wait until the right one to have sex, then here is something I heard a long time ago.

"Could you go to your ex-girlfriend's wedding and have her new husband respect you for the way you treated his wife?"

Basically this means are you treating her the way you would want someone to treat your wife?

If you sleep with someone who isn't your wife, you are cheating on your future wife, because what you are giving this person is for your wife exclusively.

 

[InTheFlame]

One thing I've noticed is that churches sometimes get so focused on 'don't have sex before marriage' that they forget to tell young people -

- what they should be doing to prepare themselves for marriage
- what to look for in a possible spouse.

For the first one -
- follow God
- learn to delay gratification
- read something like Boundaries Before Marriage and take a good hard look at your life. Would YOU want to marry someone like you? Behaviour that doesn't seem too bad when you're young, like being irresponsible, bad with money, lying to keep out of trouble etc can cause HUGE problems in a marriage.
- learn to take criticisms, prayerfully consider them, and if they're valid, ask God's help to do something about it. Getting defensive can cause you to miss out on all sorts of opportunities to become a better person.

For the second one -
- should be able to take criticism etc (my last point above)
- your morals should match up
- someone who's 'walking the walk' when it comes to God
- respectful
- can give up their own preferences and compromise with you

And one third point... find older people you respect, and ask their input, now and then, into your life and relationships. This could be parents, or people in your church, whatever.

Hope that helps?

 

[anett]

Thanks for all your comments! I really apprechiate that you've taken the time to do it!
Special thanks for InTheFlame, who actually gave a little teaching on the issue! I really agreed on the things you wrote, and YES it is a great help! Thanks again!

 

[charligirl]

I would advocate setting aside specific time to pray on this issue, and limit it to those times only to stop it being a complete focus every day. In the meantime you can be praying about how you need to change to be ready to be a spouse.

Also, don't limit God!!!! I had an 'ideal' age, look, type and God gave me someone that broke all my ideals - because actually God knows best!!