I need to take the next step.

[robertwigfield]

I have been trying to grow more with Christ but its not working. I try to read my bible and apply it. I pray and I really do try to connect to God but I always feel that there is a wall stopping our communication. My family is a line of pastors and I feel that I will not live up to my families expectations.

 

[Girder of Loins]

That's your problem. You're living for THEM, not for God. You need to reset your priorities. You aren't saved through your family, nor does God expect you to be some holy, awesome, pastoral guy who is doing miracles left and right. He just wants to know you, and for you to know Him. You might even come up with your own ideas about Christ. Me and my family don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of theological doctrines, but the core Truth that the Church finds its joy in is that Jesus loves us. Don't live up to your family, live up to God. He is your standard, not your family.

 

[Gath]

Speaking from an atheistic perspective, don't feel as if you have to become a pastor or even attend church to please your family. Obviously, you're in a situation where there is a lot of pressure on you to be a Christian, whether its explicitly stated or not. But, in the end, your religious beliefs are your own. They aren't subject to what others think or believe, regardless of whether those others are family members or not. I think you should take some time to reflect on religion in general. If you've put all you can into Christianity and it hasn't had the desired effect, maybe its time to look elsewhere. Don't feel like you have to conform. And don't feel like you're unable to talk to your family members about it either. (Unless its an extreme case, where your parents would, say, disown you if you mentioned it. In that case it might be better to keep quiet.)