i need to get away!!!!!!!!!!!

[guitarchick]

i just need to get away from my family!! i can't stand them. i know you're suppose to love them, and i know i do...somewhere in my heart, i'm sure i do. they've never done anything bad to me. its just that, everything's changing...ever since my sister came back from college anorexic. at first i was sad and depressed, but now i'm just really mad!!! i CAN'T STAND my family!! i want to scream at them. i leave when they enter the room...i haven't talked to my mom in 3 days. i'm always gone...i know i'm not doing the right thing, but its hard to let go of anger...and its totally tearing up my relationship with Christ. its awful..i hate the feelings i have inside, but i can't let it go either. i figure its better than crying every hour. because thats what would happen if i just let go of all this madness. i don't want to be close to my parents..i don't want them to know all about me. i'm not open with anyone. they don't want to know everything that goes on in my life. i've been thru things that would leave them sleepless for weeks. they just need to lay off and let me live a little. they're always there, except when i get up and leave. they're trying to find all these things out about me. they're freakin sensitive and emotional!! i hate the tension, and the frustration. i'm not emotional..i'm not sensitive...so, all this is driving me crazy. give me my guitar and let me be...when i play i let go of everything and i'm in my own little wonderful peaceful world...until my parents come knock on the door and tell me to stop. GRRRR! i have to be the strong one, they're not...so i have to be. aaaah...everyone is getting to me!!! i can't sleep because i have so much **** on my mind. so goin to bed at 3am and waking at 7am...is not working for me, mixed with anger and frustration leaves me no where and leaves me miserable. i lay awake wrestling with God about letting all this go...but its freakin hard. so i fight with God and that makes me feel awful, like a horrible daughter...which i am right now..in both senses. its hard balancing everything too...and random frustration is that, no one really knows me. they think they do. they think i'm perfect and i never do anything wrong..i do!!!!! i can think of 6-7 things that would make them think differently of me. just because i'm not open, doesn't mean i'm doing fine. its like i have to be happy ALL the time, or they'll be all concerned for me. i hate that!! ...although i'm thankful for my friends...i don't want them getting into my thoughts and into my deepest secrets and so on. i can't stand my life. its like when i come home, i just want to leave because i can feel the tension. i want my sister to leave!! or me...either way..i'll get it. 1 1/2 more years and then i'm gone. i don't know what i'm asking...i guess i just needed to vent. i know i know, i should be grateful for my family...which...i.....am. theres lots of other stuff, but i don't feel like talking about it..it would just make me feel worse. all i know is that i HAVE TO GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON...or i'll probably end up doing something stupid...that will last. i'm just overwhelmed. so much is goin on at once and i'm losing all grasp on sanity.
i'm done........ oh oh, for example: my sister just went into my parents room because my dad was being too negative during the patriot game tonight. he said they were playing awful...and all that jazz...but she couldn't stand the negativity so she left. see....everyone's emotional!!!!! its unlike me and i don't want to change, just to fit in....yes, i shamefully admit...i'm selfish and unsensitive man, i have a lot to work out....yea, another long night.

 

[joyinchrist]

we dont always get along with family... i used to feel the same way about mine, took some therapy to work through it all... if you find the right answer it will eventually work out... do you know what caused all this to start?

 

[Luvly25]

Dear Gchick,
I went through the same thing you're going through. I hated it cuz my mom wouls alwayz be trying to find out what I was doing and who I'd be with on the phone and waht I talking about and every single little thing you can think of. I'd get amd so I would go play the piano cuz it helped, but then my dad would walk in and tell me to stop amking noise or to shut up, so then I would get madder. But since I didn't talk to my parents much, I'd go into my room roght after school, come out to eat, and go to sleep....every single day. But I learned that if you can't talk to your parents of a family member....you can alwayz go to a really close friend. That's what I used to do, but now, I move a few months ago, so there's not much goin' on in my life for them to wanna know about or find out. So all that is over with me. And now it seems easier to talk to my brothers( they're both 16.5 years old and I'm 14) cuz we're starting to get along more. So like, just try to take it easy and they'll back off slowy, and if not just tell some stuff that you know is ok for them to know and enough to get them off your back, just try not to lie though. That's kind of what I had to do sometimes, and it helped some. Take care and God bless.

 

[WeakButHopeful]

I will just offer some thoughts that might help.

I believe that God is very realistic, and I do not know of a place where He insists that our feelings must always be positive. Your very strong feelings are telling you that something is wrong, and you are right to say you don't want to do anything foolish. Do not try to deny your feelings for 18 months. You couldn't hold a beach ball underwater for 18 months, and you probably won't be able to hold your feelings inside for that long. You need to find help from people that you can trust (I can't tell you who they are, but perhaps there is an aunt or cousin, or a church member, or a counselor). Don't think of it as just solving this particular problem. Think of it as learning how to solve these types of problems. I think we all face these kinds of strong emotional periods, frustrations, personality conflicts, anger at many times during our lives. If you can learn how to have all those feelings and yet still pray, still communicate and perhaps work out some compromise, then you'll have a skill that will be VERY valuable and that some people never develop.

Perhaps the problem is verbal communication. If I read your posting correctly I think you say that your parents do care and are sensitive. If you took some time to write a one page note to them explaining that you are going through a difficult time, ask for their patience and understanding, and list some things that help (your guitar playing) and other things that seem to add to your stress, would that help do you think?

Also, a friend told me that during times of deep anger and frustration she found it useful to write a letter to the person who was disturbing her deeply AND THEN SHE DESTROYED THE LETTER.

Something I cannot prove to you, but perhaps you already know from your own faith, is that God does indeed want to help you. But just like untangling a rope, He cannot get anywhere if you keep pulling on your end, and He will not override our free will. I'm not saying it's easy to "let go", especially at times like this. But even if you find that you can't let go completely, at least realize that God is still there, and does want to help. So as you let go a little, see if things improve. That may give you the confidence to let go some more. God understands, and many others have been where you are now. Please keep the faith.

May God bless you and help you find wisdom and peace.

 

[endure]

well, whats the word say?
honor your father and your mother. and your commanded to love all people, especially those of your own household, you have a "brotherly covenant" or a covenant between family with them according to God. as the bible says in micah i believe.

im not trying to simply push you, but this really is where it comes down to whether or not your going to live for the Lord or not. are you going to submit and serve him in all your ways, or not?

i think you want to, times just get hard. i give you the benefit of the doubt.
i doubt think you really really cant stand them. your just fustrated.

its not easy, it is hard, but you have to, you just dont have a choice ya know? this is the way God is, and your in the valley if decision, are you going to serve the Lord like a servant who often has his own desires neglected, or are you going to be firm and do what you want?

i know what it is like i think to an extent, but you have to love them and have compassion on them and stay with them as you serve the Lord.
it will get easier, its what being a servant is all about.

i know its hard, and thats when you have to ask God to help you.
if you simply cant, be honest and tell God you cant, and ask him to change you, ask him to give you the heart that will forgive and love and have compassion and he will. we have to ask him to "create in us a clean heart, and renew in us a right spirit" you cant doit yourself.

so be encouraged, the holyspirit will give the love you need if you seek him. this is an important matter.

ask the Lord for compassion, we have to, and hell give it to you.
if we dont love, we dont know God and he is far from us. i mean, we havent been beaten, crucified and sent to hell, we have to love and forgive and have compassion on those who really dont understand their wrongs.

my dad, likes to barge into my room while im praying or reading my bible, and it used to make me so angry and id get mad.
but i cant do that to my father, he doesnt understand, and i owe him nearly everything for raising me and being there for me. and he really hasnt done anything wrong. i owe him a place in my life, after all hes done for me.
but i had to ask the Lord for love and compassion and to get out the pride in me that makes me think i have a right to be angry when i dont. and he has, i dont get angry anymore, sometimes i feel like getting mad, but i have to submit and serve my father, and my heavonly father.

i remember the words of job, he said that after all happened him, he said he came into the world with nothing, and with nothing he would leave.
he wasnt just saying to be content with losing things, he was saying that he came into this world worthless and without any goodness or deserving anything, so even if he lost it all, he still got more than what he deserved.
all he ever had was only given to him, becuase he started with nothing. so if he lost it, he wasnt being wronged.

if we really really got what we deserved, man....

no matter how bad it gets, we still havent got what we deserve. so we dont have a reason or a right to be angry. we still are blessed.

solomon said that only through pride comes contention.
the only way fightings with people occur is through pride.
its proud, to fight. were not anybody and we dont have a reason to be angry. were still blessed, becuase we should have gotten much worse.

well...i know thats hard.
so dont just try to doit becuase you cant, but fall on your knees before God and sow in tears, and say you submit to him, and ask him to have his way in your life and hell give you the ability to walk in love. hell uphold you by his hand. submission isnt submission, untill you dont agree. man....thats rough. but thats what submission is, and we have to submit.

those that sow in tears, shall reap in joy.
when it hurts and your crying, when you still sow and plant and do whats right...it will all come back to you in greater porportion.

it may be good to get away sometimes...
but you do have to love and have compassion, you wont always be allowed to go anywhere, but you must stand and submit, and serve the Lord right in the midst of the fire. becuase thats what it really means to serve God, like a servant.

 

[endure]

wow... i just want to reitirate one thing...
it wasnt true submission, untill you didnt agree.

 

[Blessed-one]

pray and let the bible verses flow through you when you're feeling bad. Pray earnestly for God to drain your anger and help you love your parents.

trust God. He can change you if you allowed Him to.

praying for you.

 

[Sharky]

Woah. That's a mouthful.

K this could be one of those teen phases but from the sound of this it doesn't look like that.

I get this gut feeling (gut feelings for me is the Holy Spirit punching me there) that you're going to be crying in your mother's lap just letting it all out with your whole family. I believe that that's going to be the time when things will get better.

Emotions sound like they're coming to play alot here. Maybe it's time to let it out. Go for it! Cry it out to your family. I know it's humbling but that's the only way to get through some things.

 

[guitarchick]

once again God totally fascinates me...he leaves me speechless in mid sentence. sunday night was weird. i don't know how it happened, but its all gone. i'm not angry anymore. its just not there praise God for that!! i'm now i'm back to me. i still get irritated by my parents and sister, but when that happens i always remember, "in your anger do not sin, but when you lie on your bed, search your heart and be silent. offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord." ps. 4:6..or 7 i think what i missed the most was having a passion for missions...it just wasn't there, but now its back and exploding...i looove it!! thanks for what yall said. i really appreciate it

 

[seek]

once again God totally fascinates me...he leaves me speechless in mid sentence. sunday night was weird. i don't know how it happened, but its all gone. i'm not angry anymore. its just not there praise God for that!! i'm now i'm back to me. i still get irritated by my parents and sister, but when that happens i always remember, "in your anger do not sin, but when you lie on your bed, search your heart and be silent. offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord." ps. 4:6..or 7 i think what i missed the most was having a passion for missions...it just wasn't there, but now its back and exploding...i looove it!! thanks for what yall said. i really appreciate it

good to hear.............how are things going now that its been about a week?

 

[WeakButHopeful]

I agree, great news! I would just add that the advice I posted was the best I advice I knew how to give you, but I should have added that I also struggle with anger. The things I said were just as applicable to myself.

I think it's important to share with each other that the struggles we experience are not unique, so that we know we can turn to each other for understanding and support. So hearing that God has helped you through that dark period is double good news...for you and for me. Please, always remember that all Christians are (or should be) available for each other.