Been dating a divorced father of 3 for about 3 months. He is out of town with his kids on a family trip. However he knew it was the anniversary of my fathers death. He texted frequently to tell me he missed me etc... But never asked about how I was doing.
I feel hurt... But maybe my expectations are too high?
Are your expectations too high? Maybe. Oversensitive? For sure. I don't fault you that... It's a rough time, the anniversary of a death, and starting a new relationship with somebody, and a somebody who has kids. But still, the fact remains, you're being oversensitive.
A relationship that's "about 3 months in" is a new relationship. Perhaps he doesn't feel you're at that part of your relationship where he needs to care for that aspect of you emotionally, perhaps he was preoccupied, perhaps he felt that the best way to deal with your emotions was to not deal with them, bringing up old wounds and all. And if it wasn't a recent death, like a 1 year anniversary, I'm sure he probably didn't think he had to mention it directly because, while it's not totally healed, it's not a pain that would feel quite the same sting.
Can I ask... Was this family trip him and the kids? Or him, the ex, and the kids? What terms is he on with the ex? Good? Bad? Does she know about you and your relationship? How did she respond to that? How long has he been divorced?
The reason that I ask is dating a guy with an ex that he has kids with is no easy thing. If he's on bad terms with her, she will attempt to make your life hell through the kids. If he's on good terms with her, you will be suspicious and jealous if you're not a secure person or secure in your relationship. There are all sorts of issues that come up in dating a divorced man with kids that you have to be prepared for. I worry if he texts you frequently while he's gone, but doesn't say the right things, that eventually if/when you become more serious and start being added to the complexities that are dating a man with kids and an ex, you'll make him, yourself, and the family dynamic miserable. You'll have to learn that your life will be not just you and him, but you and him with the kids, and the ex. Your time and even your household finances will all include the ex in some way, shape, or form. It's tough, especially if you're a jealous or insecure person.
Now, it's not awful to date a divorced person with kids... I married to a divorced guy with two children, and the ex, who we're on functional terms with, though that fluctuates and disintegrates regularly. I love our family and all the kids more then anything. There's a lot to balance there, and if I were jealous or insecure, any interaction he has with his ex would be a source of stress and resentment for us because of how she is, intentionally and unintentionally. You have to know how to deal with it.
