Hi everyone, this is my first time writing on a Christian forum, and my life has just completely turned around on me. I am 15 years old, this is a long story, but I would really appreciate your help, I think God is trying to tell me something through my depression and I would like you all to help me with it. Responses are truly appreciated. Anyways, back in 8th grade, I was watching all my classmates and friends get dates, girlfriends, etc and I was jealous. I was overweight at the time and not really attractive. I was not unpopular though I had friends and everything and was moderately happy. I decided one day I was going to eat healthy until I lost the weight and was fit. I did, but took it too far and almost became anorexic. That was just a minor danger though that passed and my weight was right in the healthy zone again and I was fine. This went from late 8th grade and through the summer. So, at the beginning of 9th grade I was fit and healthy. Then after I conquered that problem I developed bad acne. After months I got rid of it (for the most part). Throughout 9th grade I guess I was maturing and by the spring I apparently was quite good-looking. I was so happy that after all my hard work I had achieved what I hoped I would, but I still didn't have a girlfriend or anything. My acne got worse and worse over the spring, finally I found a medication after trying everything and after two weeks of being on it it cleared it up completely. Anyways, with my face finally clear and the end of the year dance coming around. My friend told me a very pretty girl wanted to go with me so I asked out this girl and she said yes. Things were going well and it looked like it could turn into a relationship. This was the happiest I had ever been. Summer was just around the corner and I had looked forward to it for months. Now that I might have a girlfriend going into the summer it was going to be incredible and the best 3 months of my life. I had looked at this summer as the last 3 good months of my life before high school and I was going to make it incredible. This idea soon came crashing down. Within one week of her saying "yes" I had a major acne breakout (worst I had ever had). It was while I was on a vacation and the dance was the week I got back. I went to the dance with her with very little self-confidence and just hoped my face would get better. It did not. The medication I had been on for my face enduced a dormant acne condition, the most severe form of acne to be specific, and my face not only was completely (COMPLETELY) covered in acne, but it swelled up to a very large size. I was very depressed. I was out of school for a week due to the swollen face, and have been battling with this since. It is very slowly getting better, and my face is still a little more swollen than regular, but after all this, even if it does clear up, it is and will contine to leave behind terrible scars. For about a week now I have been unbelievably depressed, and the only reason I had not committed suicide is because I believe God does not want me to, and now I am not knowing what to do. I don't think it is fair for this to happen to me, especially to put the happiest time of my life next to the most depressing. I can almost be sure that I will never be good-looking again due to this acne and the fact that my face will be full of redness and scars, so I have been very depressed. It has lasted a week this supreme depression, until about an hour ago when I had what I thought was a revelation and would like all of your opinions on it. I just simply stopped feeling sorry for myself and accepted the fact that I won't be good-looking, and I will devote my life to God and helping other people. I have accepted that I probably will never have a girlfriend (although i am not superficial...socitey is so excuse that opinion that looks are everything, it isn't mine). Is this reasonable, will this get me over my depression or will it just compound it and destroy me one day? I wanted to have a life like a normal teen, dating, having fun, all that stuff, but now I am thinking it won't work out as I had planned. What should I do with my life? I am ready to devote my life to God, but I am just really confused with everything. How do I cope with this drastic and sudden change, and how should I be feeling? What do I do? Are my thoughts reasonable or did I go too far the other way? Was God teaching me not to care about appearances? Please everyone, give me some answers. Anything you can think of to help me out would be great.
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- Thread starter bennyk
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I wanted to add one more thing....
Everyone, you have no idea how lucky you are and how good you have it. Despite what you think may be big problems in your life, you all need to stop and appreciate what you have. I wished I had spent 100 hours straight praying and thanking God for what I had when I had it. Life is out of your control and everything you have can be taken from you as quickly as it was given.
BE THANKFUL!!!!!!
I cannot stress this enough. Analyze your life, your problems are NOTHING. Be thankful for everything while you still have it.
Everyone, you have no idea how lucky you are and how good you have it. Despite what you think may be big problems in your life, you all need to stop and appreciate what you have. I wished I had spent 100 hours straight praying and thanking God for what I had when I had it. Life is out of your control and everything you have can be taken from you as quickly as it was given.
BE THANKFUL!!!!!!
I cannot stress this enough. Analyze your life, your problems are NOTHING. Be thankful for everything while you still have it.
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berry2000
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Hi Bennyk,
Wow. That's a lot of someone of your age to be dealing with. I am sorry you have been struggling w/ suicidal thoughts and am glad to hear that you think God does not want you to. That too is the reason I am still alive. Specifically, I want to share with you
I think you share some wisdom in your switch to understanding that you do not have to be good looking to do what God has planned for your life. Although it is not as you wish it was.... God does have plans for your life...things you could not even imagine. Good things. Having good looks, and a beautiful girl, and everything go smoothly in life does not equal happiness...does not equal inner joy.
And the measure of the person is not as the world tells us, what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that truly matters in eternity. Perhaps this is what God is trying to instill in your heart.
I am sorry you are suffering physically. I believe God will mend you in time, perhaps completely, and then all this will be is a lesson.
Blessings and prayers to you.
Wow. That's a lot of someone of your age to be dealing with. I am sorry you have been struggling w/ suicidal thoughts and am glad to hear that you think God does not want you to. That too is the reason I am still alive. Specifically, I want to share with you
I think you share some wisdom in your switch to understanding that you do not have to be good looking to do what God has planned for your life. Although it is not as you wish it was.... God does have plans for your life...things you could not even imagine. Good things. Having good looks, and a beautiful girl, and everything go smoothly in life does not equal happiness...does not equal inner joy.
And the measure of the person is not as the world tells us, what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that truly matters in eternity. Perhaps this is what God is trying to instill in your heart.
I am sorry you are suffering physically. I believe God will mend you in time, perhaps completely, and then all this will be is a lesson.
Blessings and prayers to you.
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Hello. I'm Mariah. You are very young right now and at your age especially I know it may seem as though looks are everything,the way the world is today with some people looks are everything. What happened to you is beyond your control. It will clear up I am sure one day. If a girl doesn't like you for that than she does not deserve to be with you. Beauty is skin deep. Don't worry. Keep shinning!
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JDDCH
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I'll second that. Not to worry about being the most wonderous looking creature on the planet. I've seen some horrendous looking people that live wonderously happy lives. Happily married and with children. I'm sure the acne disorder is a shocker for you and the kids at school will have ammo to poke at you, as that seems to be what they do these days unfortunately, but don't you worry about it. Keep your faith in Jesus and you'll find all the love you can handle in your life. 
You've got to come to terms with it yourself first though. Remember, there's more to you than just flesh. Others will see past the flesh as well. You'll be surprised that once you stop caring about your acne, others will too.
You're in my prayers.
jd
You've got to come to terms with it yourself first though. Remember, there's more to you than just flesh. Others will see past the flesh as well. You'll be surprised that once you stop caring about your acne, others will too.
You're in my prayers.
jd
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Mrs. Luther073082
Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3
I certainly do not think it would hurt to focus on God and on helping people. It helped me.
I was overweight as a child and lost weight in middle school, too. I also dealt with skin problems at around your age.
I don't think you should stop expecting to date or do other normal teenage things. I do think it is wise of you for deciding not let it bring you down if you don't end up experiencing those things.
I will be praying for you! Hang in there
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don't worry everyone, i had what seemed to be a spiritual revelation last night and i believe i am almost completely over my depression, i had posted this in another section too and had a lot more replies there so i had posted all my thoughts and updates there, but i am just checking back here to let all you guys know, in a nutshell i came to the realization that God used this experience to bring me much closer to him, and overall, he used this experience to SAVE me and i am so thankful for it
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Hi Benny,bennyk said:
Wow...I have a lot of respect for you. You are wise beyond your years and although what you are going through is painful, you have been saved from a life of superficiality. My ex-boyfriend's brother had very severe acne. At one point they were trying to treat it intravenously (he would go in once a week and they would pump something into his veins). I think that it is cleared up now, but he does have quite a bit of scarring. But from what I can tell, he has a very satisfying life and he is loved by very many people (I think that he has a girlfriend, also). He is a very talented musician (his band is on myspace: Ask me for the link).
That is all. Thanks for sharing your struggles. You are an inspiration!
Jessica
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Goobersmooch
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Hi Benny-
I was overweight in High School. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was and I wish I looked like that now. I did realize during that time that most other teenagers only look on the outside and not the inside so I developed a Low Self Esteem. What it sounds like to me is that God wants you to have a God esteem. Go to your local Video Store and rent an old movie called Mask with Cher in it.(If you can find it anywhere that is.) It is a very good movie about what matters. My advice to you is to not listen to what others have to say. It's hard and i know it will happen anyways but when you do listen and you find yourself crying go to the mirror and look at yourself. Someone once told me to do this and it makes me cry when I do it but it is so awesome. God is looking at the mirror and saying, "Look at my perfect Son. Isn't he so handsome? I love him so perfectly" You see he made you. He doesn't make mistakes and he's the only one that matters. Yes he will have an awesome ministry for you but your only 15 give it some time okay? Pray for guidance and comfort when your hurt. Oh one more thing don't give up on the Girl thing. I'm married and I can tell you right now I never thought it would happen either!
Hugs!
Melanie
I was overweight in High School. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was and I wish I looked like that now. I did realize during that time that most other teenagers only look on the outside and not the inside so I developed a Low Self Esteem. What it sounds like to me is that God wants you to have a God esteem. Go to your local Video Store and rent an old movie called Mask with Cher in it.(If you can find it anywhere that is.) It is a very good movie about what matters. My advice to you is to not listen to what others have to say. It's hard and i know it will happen anyways but when you do listen and you find yourself crying go to the mirror and look at yourself. Someone once told me to do this and it makes me cry when I do it but it is so awesome. God is looking at the mirror and saying, "Look at my perfect Son. Isn't he so handsome? I love him so perfectly" You see he made you. He doesn't make mistakes and he's the only one that matters. Yes he will have an awesome ministry for you but your only 15 give it some time okay? Pray for guidance and comfort when your hurt. Oh one more thing don't give up on the Girl thing. I'm married and I can tell you right now I never thought it would happen either!
Hugs!
Melanie
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It's like I'm looking into a mirror to the past. Howdy, I'm Travis...and I'm new here. Your situation, and my past situation are similar. I've been through similar circumstances...and have come out stronger because of them. I believe that God allows such afflictions to plague us so that we learn from them. Being Bipolar, and having severe acne because of the medications I was on gave me a reason to look for something more. Thus, I found God. Life is a journey, a path, a walk. "When you fall, pick something up." Learning from your life experiences is key to dealing with the things that come your way. It's all about attitude. If you look at things and think "Maybe I can learn from this, and be of better use to God because of it." Then you are on the right track. Having acne/scarring doesn't mean that you'll be single forever. I thought that for a long time. I realized though, that any woman worth having, is one that will love me, for me...for the person that God has molded me to be. Not for any superficial reason.
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Screamin'Eagle
Fighting communism...one mermaid at a time.
i found this for ya...says it works on both acne and scarring along with wrinkles ect ect so it might be worth a try. Just by looking at the pictures though these people have a huge improvement in their skin. http://www.bestskinpeel.com/?OVRAW=acne%20scar&OVKEY=acne%20scar&OVMTC=standard
Just tryin to help
Just tryin to help
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Dearest bennyk,
I just wanted to add that your wisdom and desire to follow Jesus...warms my heart and encourages me.
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Hey Benny!! I too am inspired by your experience!! Well for those of us that go through difficult situations in life, I believe that makes you even more valuable. In the future you may come across many other kids and people that are in difficult situations and you can show them the way to look at a negative situation in a positive way! I love you!!! , your brother in Christ.
, your brother in Christ.
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