I just learned the proper way to post this on its own thread, sorry for my mistake :o
I'm very depressed because I feel like I have no purpose in my life other than rotting in a prison 'til Jesus comes back. Sounds exaggerated but that's exactly how I feel.
You see... I used to live in a beautiful city in Mexico, called Querétaro. I was studying in college, receiving so many blessings from God I don't even know which ones to start with. I had a few friends, but they were true and loyal no matter what. I had a small, comfortable house; I was living with my mom, older brother, and grandpa. We weren't rich, but we had everything we needed and more. I loved going to Church, and everyday I would thank God for having such an amazing life. A home, a family, real friends, a peaceful and amazing town to live in, well...
And all of a sudden, it all changed. I don't feel like sharing the whole story, so here comes the brief version. My family and I moved to West Virginia, to the most depressing and miserable piece of land you could find. I gave up everything because of false promises... now I feel like I made the worst mistake of my life. I can't get out... I'm not studying, it's been five months since I dropped college. We do not have a car, and there's nothing nearby but trees and roads. I have no friends, I have nothing to do but to sit down in my computer all day, eat, and sleep. I have to share a small house with eight people, and these people have been very impolite and unrespectful to us at times. They don't understand the concept of privacy, and constantly try to manipulate us into working the farm (which we never agreed to in the first place, 'cause staying here was supposed to be temporary). All because my mom married an American man, and he somehow convinced us that moving to the US was the way to go.
I fell into a severe depression. I was starting to present signs of anorexia. As soon as we got here, I lost my period. It's hasn't come back since. I've been getting better because I have been praying day and night, begging God to help me through this, and He in his mercy has been slowly restoring my health. But it's so hard to stay uplifted when everything gets worse each day. They refuse to take me to a doctor, because they don't believe in conventional medicine (in the other hand, they've been feeding me silver, herbs, and roots).
The worst thing is... I could go back at any minute, I really could! but every single time I talk to them about flying back to Mexico, they start telling me it's Satan trying to fool me, and that my flesh is dragging me into making a bad decision. They say everything will get better, and that I'm not being patient enough. They say I MUST stay here, no matter how I feel.
What should I do? Am I being driven by my flesh, or is this more manipulation? I need a friend, a helping hand... I keep praying but I can't find the answer. I feel lonely... I haven't made a single friend since I arrived here (mainly because I never get out of the house).
Is it God's will that I stay here? How am I supposed to know? Everyday I'm cranky, and I don't have energies at all. All I here 24/7 is how we should be preparing for 'the downfall of the United States of America', 'the economy is falling apart', 'your city in Mexico will glow in the night because of all the radiation, when the bombs start...', and how its 'ridiculous to get you back into college because you won't even finish your first semester. It's all coming to an end'... Every morning I'm woken up by the sound of Alex Jones's obnoxious voice. I'm so sick of it.
Please, pray for me to overcome my depression and be able to listen to the voice of God. What's my purpose? Is my purpose in America, at all? Does obeying God's will means I have to give up my happiness, forever?
I'm very depressed because I feel like I have no purpose in my life other than rotting in a prison 'til Jesus comes back. Sounds exaggerated but that's exactly how I feel.
You see... I used to live in a beautiful city in Mexico, called Querétaro. I was studying in college, receiving so many blessings from God I don't even know which ones to start with. I had a few friends, but they were true and loyal no matter what. I had a small, comfortable house; I was living with my mom, older brother, and grandpa. We weren't rich, but we had everything we needed and more. I loved going to Church, and everyday I would thank God for having such an amazing life. A home, a family, real friends, a peaceful and amazing town to live in, well...
And all of a sudden, it all changed. I don't feel like sharing the whole story, so here comes the brief version. My family and I moved to West Virginia, to the most depressing and miserable piece of land you could find. I gave up everything because of false promises... now I feel like I made the worst mistake of my life. I can't get out... I'm not studying, it's been five months since I dropped college. We do not have a car, and there's nothing nearby but trees and roads. I have no friends, I have nothing to do but to sit down in my computer all day, eat, and sleep. I have to share a small house with eight people, and these people have been very impolite and unrespectful to us at times. They don't understand the concept of privacy, and constantly try to manipulate us into working the farm (which we never agreed to in the first place, 'cause staying here was supposed to be temporary). All because my mom married an American man, and he somehow convinced us that moving to the US was the way to go.
I fell into a severe depression. I was starting to present signs of anorexia. As soon as we got here, I lost my period. It's hasn't come back since. I've been getting better because I have been praying day and night, begging God to help me through this, and He in his mercy has been slowly restoring my health. But it's so hard to stay uplifted when everything gets worse each day. They refuse to take me to a doctor, because they don't believe in conventional medicine (in the other hand, they've been feeding me silver, herbs, and roots).
The worst thing is... I could go back at any minute, I really could! but every single time I talk to them about flying back to Mexico, they start telling me it's Satan trying to fool me, and that my flesh is dragging me into making a bad decision. They say everything will get better, and that I'm not being patient enough. They say I MUST stay here, no matter how I feel.
What should I do? Am I being driven by my flesh, or is this more manipulation? I need a friend, a helping hand... I keep praying but I can't find the answer. I feel lonely... I haven't made a single friend since I arrived here (mainly because I never get out of the house).
Is it God's will that I stay here? How am I supposed to know? Everyday I'm cranky, and I don't have energies at all. All I here 24/7 is how we should be preparing for 'the downfall of the United States of America', 'the economy is falling apart', 'your city in Mexico will glow in the night because of all the radiation, when the bombs start...', and how its 'ridiculous to get you back into college because you won't even finish your first semester. It's all coming to an end'... Every morning I'm woken up by the sound of Alex Jones's obnoxious voice. I'm so sick of it.
Please, pray for me to overcome my depression and be able to listen to the voice of God. What's my purpose? Is my purpose in America, at all? Does obeying God's will means I have to give up my happiness, forever?
