BenevolentB,
I was googling "cheating Christian boyfriend" because my boyfriend recently cheated on me. I read your situation, and it's identical to mine. Everything is the same...from the fact that you weren't a Christian before you met him, he's in a band/a ladies' man, to talking about marriage, down to his fasting. It's a little eerie.
The only difference between our situations is that he (claims?) doesn't have contact with the girl he cheated on me with. They do, however, attend the same college (a Christian college, nonetheless!). I'm currently living 2,000 miles away, but will attend the school in January. (Oh, just think about the hesitations and worry clouding my mind!)
I'm struggling with everything, as I'm sure you understand. My heart and mind are riding a crazy emotional rollercoaster -- one day, I want to exercise forgiveness and try to work things out with him, the next I'm ready to leave him. He keeps telling me that he's changing and feels horrible about the man he allowed himself to be, and that he'll never stop fighting for me. I can't trust his word. However, I'm harboring a naive little seedling of hope that he will change.
The night I found out about his cheating, I opened the Bible (for what was the first time in months) and prayed to God for guidance. I opened to Proverbs 2:12-22:
12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who leave the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.
16 It will save you also from the adulteress,
from the wayward wife with her seductive words,
17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.
18 For her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.
20 Thus you will walk in the ways of good men
and keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;
22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
I think it's very clear what God was trying to communicate with me. I've been battling with the message for a while, trying to skew the translation into something that will lead me back to my boyfriend. But, I know I need to give in to God. I need to give up on my boyfriend. My heart still feels a strong connection to him, and I fear that I'll be alone while he galavants around town with other girls. I just have to take a leap of faith. I have to put all of my faith in God, however hard it may be.
I believe that me discovering your post is another sign from God. He's speaking to me on all levels, and I need to listen to him. Thank you, for being part of that discovery.
♥ God bless you in future relationships and life.