I need some pointers

[sunshine100]

I need some pointers as to not scare the guy that I like off,in the past I have scared off some guys and I really don't want to with this guy.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Are you referring to chastity?

 

[HTacianas]

I need some pointers as to not scare the guy that I like off,in the past I have scared off some guys and I really don't want to with this guy.

Don't dig your fingernails into his flesh and scream YOU'RE MINE!!!

But seriously, there is no magic answer to your question. Be polite and try not to let on too much that you're interested in him. Sometimes we get nervous and simply talk too much. Try not to do that or go overboard with the smiles. Seeming too interested is often enough to make someone feel uncomfortable.

You should do fine.

 

[Southernscotty]

Just be yourself friend :] If he doesn't like you for who you are, then you do not want him anyway.
You are special and unique just as all of God's children are and you should never put on airs :]

 

[sunshine100]

Are you referring to chastity?

I don't know what that means what does chastity mean?

 

[Southernscotty]

Just be yourself friend :] If he doesn't like you for who you are, then you do want him anyway.
You are special and unique just as all of God's children are and you should never put on airs :]

I meant do NOT want him anyway. Sorry

 

[sunshine100]

Just be yourself friend :] If he doesn't like you for who you are, then you do want him anyway.
You are special and unique just as all of God's children are and you should never put on airs :]

that is very true my friend thank you

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I don't know what that means what does chastity mean?

Refraining from sexual activity before marriage. I find this scares off most men.

 

[sunshine100]

Refraining from sexual activity before marriage. I find this scares off most men.

Are you referring to chastity?

no I'm not referring to that

 

[gym_class_hero]

is he a Christian?

 

[mama2one]

let him pursue you

allow him to initiate contact re calls/texts
allow him to ask you out and not other way around

I was very quiet/shy so seemed a mystery to husband
he pursued me

 

[blackribbon]

Don't start planning your wedding in your mind...not until you have been together for like a year.

Don't invade his privacy out of fear and jealousy.

Don't demand he text back the minute you text him. And you don't have to talk to him every single day...give him room to breath and decide that he wants to spend that much time with you.

Give the relationship a chance to grow naturally and let him take the lead at least half the time....

 

[timewerx]

Dropping the handkerchief (literally) is a classic trick that still works. The guy is supposed to pick it up, give it to you and that should open the conversation.

Of course, it doesn't have to be a hanky. It could be anything you can drop by "accident" like a stack of cards. A lady did that to me once, dropped a stack of cards which made quite a mess, but gave us enough time to have the opportunity to talk.

If you can be more creative than a stack of cards dropping, do so. The more creative your style, the more you'll attract the interest of the guy.

Once you get to talk, the next thing you have to figure out is to be spontaneous with the conversation. This can be the hardest part. May take some practice, acting lessons, memorizing dialogues in movies, etc.

 

[timewerx]

Anyway, that is simply just for opening a conversation.

What follow is up to discernment. Still up to you to figure out if the guy is actually truely interested in you, not just being polite.

There are guys would say yes to everything but not really interested and eventually make excuses. Avoid those guys.

 

[Southernscotty]

I just happened to think, Let the guy be a guy. I see so many of my friends wifes trying to be the leader in the relationship and this is just wrong.
I see the pain it causes my friends and it casterates them to a degree as they do not feel manly, Or do not feel as though they can be a Godly leader because the wife calls all the shots and they just shrug their shoulders and do whatever they say, Even what church to attend etc:
. This isn't right nor scriptural. As the man is the biblical leader of the household in my old fashioned opinion and I know some will disagree but oh well. If you wanna make a man feel like a man, Let him be a man.

 

[paul1149]

The basic rule is found at Mt. 6.33:

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.​

See the parallel at Ps 37.3-4. If you put God first, your desires will fall into line. Usually we scare people off when we want them too much. We proceed too quickly and they see it as a sign of weakness and become uncomfortable.

But if your focus is on pleasing God, you become free to treat people with respect and kindness, letting them make their own decisions along the way how close they want to get. The relationship can proceed at its own good pace, with everyone being free along the way.

You can do some related reading in 1Cor 7, where Paul counsels to be content in whatever state you're in, but if an opportunity for improvement comes along, take it. There's a very healthy balance there, where we can live a good life now, and also look forward to improvement when the time is right.

 

[SkyWriting]

I need some pointers as to not scare the guy that I like off,in the past I have scared off some guys and I really don't want to with this guy.

Get busy and enjoy life and your interests without him. If he follows you, you have a winner. If not, you have a real life of your own. I used to chase my girlfriend all over town. She never slowed down enough to scare me off.

 

[sunshine100]

is he a Christian?

yes

 

[Yarddog]

I need some pointers as to not scare the guy that I like off,in the past I have scared off some guys and I really don't want to with this guy.

Be yourself but respect his right to be an individual.

 

[sunshine100]

Be yourself but respect his right to be an individual.

I agree