i need some love

[hope4betterdays]

with everyday that passes he is just more and more selfish. and i just cant take this neglect anymore. I need a man who will love me and my kids and love to laugh, love God, love life. and just enjoys things.
my husband will walk around singing songs about how much he hates his life and so on. and he is so negative about anything and everything. I need some love , friendship and happiness and a life without stress every time he is around.

 

[JasonV]

Sounds like your husband needs some professional therapy to help him deal with his negativity.

 

[hope4betterdays]

so true. he is a total downer. He can bring anyone down after being with him. He cant take about anything without looking at the negative side to it. He even told me that he mind only things of the negative. and the sad part is he doesnt know enough to just shut up and not say what he thinks all the time. I am so thankful my kids are close to me and know this is not normal and they hopefully can learn not to be like this. He is not a christian either and i think that has alot to do with it. He needs God in his life. he grew up in a baptist church and a baptist school K-12 and one year of baptist college and now says he dont believe.. I just dnont know what to do.

 

[FaithfulWife]

hope4betterdays~

I have two things to remind you.

First, the love that you are searching for will not come from your husband. You want to feel loved and accepted and for that you can not turn to another human being because they will let you down. Turn to G-d for the love that you need in your life. Only HE can fulfill that need. Since you are the one here asking for help, and not your dear hubby, we can only help you, not him. My advice to YOU would be to turn to G-d for the love that you need, and for your husband.

Second, I'd like to remind you that G-d does not call us to stay in a place where we are being continuously harmed and hurt. You made a vow before G-d to love one man until you die, and you're not dead--but that doesn't mean you have to stay and take abuse. If you are being emotionally or mentally or verbally abused it is reasonable to take some time apart to heal yourself and ask him to take the time to heal himself. But like the apostle Paul tells us:
1 Corinthians 7:5 (New King James Version)

5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

My concern here is that if your dear hubby is a pessimist or has depression or even Clinical Depression that you are interpreting that as abuse when its more like an illness or behavior that needs treatment. So no, you are precious to G-d and He does not want you hurt. If you need to take some time apart let it be by agreement for a time, and during that time use it for fasting and prayer. Now...the abuser will rarely "agree" to being apart but what I mean is that there is an understanding its for "10 days" or " a week" (whatever) and the purpose is "fasting and prayer only." Make sense?

If you'd like to talk more you can PM me okay?

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I hope you are in a supportive church because it would be helpful to have positive, praying people around you especially now.

I would be very careful about taking time apart. I think you should discuss this with a counselor before any kind of separation.

As someone who separated more than 10 years ago and has been divorced and dating for 5, I can tell you that those happy Christian men who will love you and your kids are very rare. I don't believe you are going to find happiness in being disobedient to God. Once you are married God expects you to stick with this man even if he isn't a Christian. It may take many more years, but the hope is that your dh will be won over to God because of your behavior.

If your dh's behavior has suddenly changed then his Dr. should be advised. I hope you find the right people to surround you, counsel, and pray you through this.

 

[romans324]

I know how that feels. I have felt alot that she didn't care. Sometimes I just need to have that feeling of being loved. Yes it sounds werid from a guy but I belive some men like that. I was always down becasue I felt the weight of everything on my shoulders and she didn't seem to care. Since we seperated over 8 months ago her life is the same and sometimes worse, where I don't have the burdens I once had. I smile and laugh. I really enjoy these feelings.

 

[hope4betterdays]

romans324 i know how you feel. How are things going now for you. do you think you will get divorced. is there kids involved. ? My husband is so moody. right now he is doing ok (as of last night) but he might come home from work and be a totally different person tonight. I just hate the lack and true love. I could go on all day on the things he has done to me or said to me that have hurt to the core.

 

[romans324]

Today was a so/so Yes we will be divorced (no-fault one) Yes to the kids that is done, I have primary custody of the oldest and her the other 2. Although she doesnt talk to her daughter I talk to mine as much as possible. Mostly about 5min a day telling her I love her, seeing how school went and so on. The youngest is 11months so he is into conversation, lol. I know that love feeling though. She told me a cople of weeks ago she just wants to be loved, yet what that meant was someone giving her everything. She just has a misconception of love and what it really means.