I need some big help with this (question about girls)

[r2d2651]

There is a girl that goes to my youth group well used to... Her mom doesn't let her go anymore because she doesn't like some of the kids there and what they've done well anyway a girl... She was so funny and nice very much like me and I think I loved her she looked my age (13) but recently I found out she was 11! And I was shocked because my estimations were 12 or 13 of age it feels kind of right and kind of wrong due to age. She doesn't know I like her yet... I can message her on facebook but I need to know if it's right... I really need a girlfriend... I feel like my life is sort of empty I checked out some dream interpretation online before I found out she was 11 and all just because I'm really into the study of dreams and sleep and I saw a barren market in my dream and the interpretation for that is that something is missing... A void in your life... And I think that might be a girl...

I want a girlfriend to...

Cuddle, hug, hold, say I love you and just be close to... It makes me so happy just thinking about that. My mom said she always knew I would be caring and gentle because of the little notes I sent to a girl in elementary school...

So I have two major options in front of me for this situation

(1): Talk to her

(2): Since I am going back to school (I've only been to public school in 3-5th grade now I'm coming back to be in 8th) Wait and find someone my own age there...

option 1 feels both right and wrong...

option 2 feels right makes me shy and wrong because I think I feel something with 1

please advice...

 

[Aino]

I think two years in your age is not so terrible, even better then a couple without an age difference. Especially at that point of your life girls may seem much more mature then boys her age. I definately think you should talk to her about it and at least ask her how she feels about it. Make sure she is honest and don't put any pressure on her so she won't feel too bad for telling you what she really thinks. She might seem mature, but she probably doesn't have much experience in dating if any at all, and she might feel quite unsecure about even talking about it, so please remember to approach nicely, and give her enough time and space to figure out what she wants. If she's not attracted to you, you shouldn't even mention it ever again, but just let it be - you'll get over it with time. If she's not ready to date, you shouldn't push her either. Both of you will get over it as well, or perhaps you can have a start later, when she feels better about it. If she should feel the same way about you as well and you should want to start dating, I'd encourage you to consult both parents first. They want to and deserve to know about it and have their word in your relationships and discuss proper limits with you.

The other thing you mentioned, that you want to have a girlfriend. I would be careful about it, because it just isn't right to have a girlfriend for the sake of having one. There should be actual feelings in it and tehy should be towards the girl and not the role of your girlfriend. Test adn try everything and don't act before looking at it from every side, that is my advice. Make sure as well, that you have an own life as well and don't get too dependent on her so that you won't loose everything if you happened to break up one day... I'm just saying this to try to save you from some heartache, so don't take it as an offence, but as friendly advice. I hope could give you at least some useful advice and that everything goes well with her.

 

[BrokenWanderer]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You need a girlfriend? Since when did you get that idea? r2d, you don't need a girlfriend. If there's a void in your life, its spiritual, not something that can be filled by having a girlfriend. Look to Christ, fill yourself with Him. Don't worry about whether this girl will end up yours or not. Or even worry about having a relationship at all. Set your eyes fully and Christ, and He'll bring you the right young woman, at HIS time. You're wanting one now, and I can tell you, that's not healthy. If you try to push your way, its going to hurt you. So turn to Christ.

Oh, and don't look to some website that "interprets" dreams or anything. Talk to your youth pastor, find a mentor, talk to people who are above the age of 18, preferably, about relationships. Seek guidance, and DON'T try to do this on your own.

 

[r2d2651]

Well it's not JUST finding any girl like I said I really enjoy being around her and like her for who she is it's not like we just met I've known her for 1 and 1/2 or 2 years.

 

[liesje]

Are you 13 or 19?

 

[r2d2651]

13 I thought you needed to be at least 18 when you signed up like some sites so i was 12 when i made this acc. I'm actually 13 same birthdate feb 12 but the year is 1996 hehe

 

[BrokenWanderer]

Well it's not JUST finding any girl like I said I really enjoy being around her and like her for who she is it's not like we just met I've known her for 1 and 1/2 or 2 years.

So she's a really good friend. Let it stay that way, so you don't hurt her, or vice versa. You're 13 after all. A relationship is NOT what you need.

 

[meowmix]

Hmm.. Yeah.. sooo Your really good friends.. You like her... But you have no idea if she likes you back..? Is that right?

 

[r2d2651]

yes... well I think she might... She's pretty goofy around me and one thing that really made me wonder is a got a few pokes on the shoulder I turn around HUG! I was trying to pretend I was busy because I was shy... lol but yeah I guess that's it

 

[meowmix]

Hmmm.. You Should maybe wait till she's alittle older. And then ask her how she feels about you.

If you ask her that question, and if she's not ready, your friendship will go down the toilet.

 

[renee09]

HII there,
You dont need a girlfriend, you want one. Very different. Your needs is essentials that you need to survival. Wants is just that, something you want. I would advise making your friendship stronger for now. Your both still really young and if you dated and something goes wrong, its hard to find that kind of friendship again. God Bless.

 

[meowmix]

agreed!

 

[Mela Monkey]

Like most everyone here has been saying, you should focus on other things other than girls.
I'm 18 and I don't have a girlfriend (don't want one either), but im as happy I could ever be.

 

[meowmix]

I'm only thirteen, And I have no hope's of wanting A Boyfriend.
There just a pain to deal with..

 

[Kixa]

I'd say 13 is too young for a gf/bf. In some rare cases it's alright...some do mature early.
But isn't the main reason to date to find your perfect someone?
Almost all dating Junior Highers end up having to break up with said gf/bf anyway.

 

[NaturallyGone]

There is a girl that goes to my youth group well used to... Her mom doesn't let her go anymore because she doesn't like some of the kids there and what they've done well anyway a girl... She was so funny and nice very much like me and I think I loved her she looked my age (13) but recently I found out she was 11! And I was shocked because my estimations were 12 or 13 of age it feels kind of right and kind of wrong due to age. She doesn't know I like her yet... I can message her on facebook but I need to know if it's right... I really need a girlfriend... I feel like my life is sort of empty I checked out some dream interpretation online before I found out she was 11 and all just because I'm really into the study of dreams and sleep and I saw a barren market in my dream and the interpretation for that is that something is missing... A void in your life... And I think that might be a girl...

I want a girlfriend to...

Cuddle, hug, hold, say I love you and just be close to... It makes me so happy just thinking about that. My mom said she always knew I would be caring and gentle because of the little notes I sent to a girl in elementary school...

So I have two major options in front of me for this situation

(1): Talk to her

(2): Since I am going back to school (I've only been to public school in 3-5th grade now I'm coming back to be in 8th) Wait and find someone my own age there...

option 1 feels both right and wrong...

option 2 feels right makes me shy and wrong because I think I feel something with 1

please advice...

Ok, a few things:
1) I realize this has already been pointed out, but you don't NEED a girlfriend. You WANT one. big difference.
2) You're only 14. No offense, but you probably don't understand exactly how powerful the word "love" is. I'm 19, and even I don't fully realize it. I'm still just beginning to learn about the 3 different types of love.
3) Age doesn't matter. Period.

 

[Windmill]

There is a girl that goes to my youth group well used to... Her mom doesn't let her go anymore because she doesn't like some of the kids there and what they've done well anyway a girl... She was so funny and nice very much like me and I think I loved her she looked my age (13) but recently I found out she was 11! And I was shocked because my estimations were 12 or 13 of age it feels kind of right and kind of wrong due to age. She doesn't know I like her yet... I can message her on facebook but I need to know if it's right... I really need a girlfriend... I feel like my life is sort of empty I checked out some dream interpretation online before I found out she was 11 and all just because I'm really into the study of dreams and sleep and I saw a barren market in my dream and the interpretation for that is that something is missing... A void in your life... And I think that might be a girl...

I want a girlfriend to...

Cuddle, hug, hold, say I love you and just be close to... It makes me so happy just thinking about that. My mom said she always knew I would be caring and gentle because of the little notes I sent to a girl in elementary school...

So I have two major options in front of me for this situation

(1): Talk to her

(2): Since I am going back to school (I've only been to public school in 3-5th grade now I'm coming back to be in 8th) Wait and find someone my own age there...

option 1 feels both right and wrong...

option 2 feels right makes me shy and wrong because I think I feel something with 1

please advice...

Dude she is 11. You are 14. If you date her... she will be 12 when you are 15!!! Dude, no.

I'm sure you're lonely, I'm sure you like her, yet I'm also sure you can hold off for 2 years. When she's 13 and you're 16, thats a more acceptable age gap. Just wait. OK? Please. Wait. As others said you don't need a girlfriend, you just want one.

Now, if you're actually 13, the age gap isn't so terrible, and you probably could ask her out. You'll still get disapproving looks, and waiting until she's 13 would still be the best thing for your social reputation, but if you don't care about that, oh well.

 

[Windmill]

I'd say 13 is too young for a gf/bf. In some rare cases it's alright...some do mature early.
But isn't the main reason to date to find your perfect someone?
Almost all dating Junior Highers end up having to break up with said gf/bf anyway.

Well should I make friends with only people I'm sure I'll be friends with forever? Isn't that the... main reason to make friends..?

Uh, no. The main reason to make friends is to fill in our lonliness. We won't stay friends with all of our friends, sometimes we'll drift apart over time. But its much better to make friends when we can and fill in the lonliness. As long as we make good friends and don't do stupid things with them, its fine.

As long as he doesn't do anything stupid and finds a girl who is good for him, why not date now.

Newsflash to everyone: it is nice to have a romantic interest. And no, you can't just fill in the lonliness with friendship. Do you get to cuddle friends? No. Do you get to kiss friends? No. Do you get to meaningfully tease and flirt with your friends? No. Do you get to go on sweet dates and express your affections to a friend? NO. Its nice to do these things. Since its not going to kill you, you might as well start enjoying them while you're young.

 

[HwtChirino]

Whoa, buddy. Slow your role! God comes first!! Your focus needs to be on the Lord, not on some girl.

Listen: God is the creator of all things. Everything is his! In order to be blessed, you must give yourself to Him entirely. Let him steer your life and not the other way around. How can anyone feel empty with God in their life?! IMPOSSIBLE! You really need to take a step back and examine yourself. Because it really seems to me like what you're missing is a better connection with the Lord.

You're living your life based on YOUR desires, thus blocking the transmission of God's voice that would lead you to where He wants you to go.

I refuse to help you with girls before you help yourself and build a stronger relationship with the Lord.

Trust me.. I prayed for my future wife, but I was patient and I never felt that my life was empty without someone to cuddle with and kiss. And at age 13, you cannot fully understand what true love is because of the lack of maturity that comes with aging and without having an intimate relationship with God. From the way you talk, you are surely infatuated, causing you to deviate from the Lord.

God will lead the way, but it's up to you to follow. And right now, you are not following.

 

[HwtChirino]

Uh, no. The main reason to make friends is to fill in our lonliness. We won't stay friends with all of our friends, sometimes we'll drift apart over time. But its much better to make friends when we can and fill in the lonliness.

As I said before, if God does not "fill in the loneliness", you have no business representing Him.