I am not to sure where to go or what to do next. I have recently divorced my husband of 1.5 years. Things started off really well. We were both christians and dated for about 3 years before we got married. I was the happiest girl in the world when i got married but things soon turned sour. Some of the problems actually started on our wedding night when we did not consumate our marriage. I was a little hurt by the fact that my husband did not want to be intimate with me at all. It took about 3 months for us to actually be intimate with each other. The next day he told me that sex was overated and that we should have a plutonic realtionship for the rest of our marriage. This was blow number 2. I was 22 and a new wife and i loved my husband very much and i really really wanted to be intimate with him. I tried everything with no luck at all. About 8 months later we were intimate once more and that was it for our whole marriage. Things started to go down hill when he started a new job. He got involved with the wrong crowd, and started using drugs very heavily. Anything he could get his hands on cocaine, heroin, meth , etc.......... about this time he also acused me of having an affair. To which there is no truth to. His love for drugs continued and the more i prayed the worse it got. He was staying out 6 nights a week and never coming home, and spending about 1500 dollars a month on drugs. The final straw came when he told me one night that i was a worthless human being and he had come to realize that all my hope and dreams were worthless and stupid. But rather that divorce me he wanted to watch me suffer for as long as he was alive. And that he wanted to make things a living hell for me. Having the one person that is supposed to love you for life tell me this was the breaking point. All that i had been through with him and having been told that i was worthless was too much and i tried to kill myself. I know that God was watching out for me or the knife i grabed would have been a sharp one instead of the " safety knife we had in the knife block". The next day i told him i couldnt' take it anymore and it was over. I am now 25 and dealing with huge comitment issues as i am to scared to let myself get that attached to anyone else. I am not to sure what to do . All those nights when i prayed that my marriage would work and it just got worse has made me wonder if the divorce was supposed to happen, if it was God's will. I am just really confused as to what i should do next. I have been dating this wonderful man for a few months but the thought of anything really serious frightens me to no end. The only good thing is that i am no longer depressed, i am happy i am alive and i am glad that the knife i grabed was the dull one. So i am hoping that maybe someone here might have some insight as to what i should do . 
