I need some advice/prayer

[horseluva42792]

About a month ago I just told my mom that I was sexually (not sure if it was assault or molestation yet) 3 years ago. either way, my dad doesn't know about it yet. My family pokes fun at me for sleeping with a nightlight and a radio on. My dad says that only babies need nightlights and radios. It makes me feel bad that my own family teases me, but it makes me feel worse that I even need to have these things to sleep. I also am afraid of having people behind me and being by myself. I wish that my parents would understand where I'm coming from. I'm getting so frustrated with all of this, especially since my friends don't understand, they say stuff like "Well, you should have told the police 3 years ago when it happened. This guy could have done these things to other girls too and then it would be your fault." or "You just need to get over it. Stop whining and acting like a baby. It's not that big of a deal." But to me it is, it's been taking over my whole life. I need some advice

 

[moerunamida]

Honey, I completely understand and I am praying for you. Some people just cannot comprehend what a scare and a scar it is on your life. I would definatly talk to someone, a pastor or friend. That is what I am doing I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[BelindaP]

It's OK to sleep with a night light and to use a radio. I know adults who do that. Also, the fears you have when around others are perfectly normal. I couldn't get into an elevator alone with a man for quite a long time, and I still turn around to look any time somebody is walking behind me.

You were molested at the age of 11. That is way too young to try to take on the legal system alone. These people who tell you that it is your fault if the guy has hurt somebody else don't understand how scary and humiliating it is to tell what has happened. In most jurisdictions you have up to seven years to report that kind of crime, and perhaps by then you'll have the strength and support to do it.

Until then, be kind to yourself. Keep the night light and the radio. Try to ignore the teasing by people who don't know what they are talking about.

You need to hang around with a kinder set of friends if all they have to say is 'get over it'. There are people in their 50s who haven't "gotten over it" yet. It's great that you were able to tell your mom. How did she react?

Have you considered talking to a school counselor or minister about what happened. They can get you hooked up with resources that might really help you. They will be obligated to ask, but you don't have to tell them who did it. The important thing is for you to try to heal from what has happened to you.

Take care and God bless.

 

[tapero]

Dear Horseluva,

Here is a hotline and an online place where you can talk to someone.

National Sexual Assault Hotline • 1.800.656.HOPE • Free. Confidential. 24/7.
(Even if you don't know what type of abuse you suffered you can call and people at these places really care.)

Teen Hope Line also has an online 'live' service that can be found at www.teenhopeline.com where people can talk to the staff on there.

I am praying for you horseluva.

It is not silly at all to have the radio and light on. I'm 51 and have suffered from sexual assualt and assault and possible molestation, and I need two big lights on and ususally the tv going. I know what you mean about not being comfortable with people behind you. That does get better with time.

Your pastor will be confidential and you can also see your school counselor.

I'm sorry no one has taken this seriously. People really care about you and can help. God bless you and write me anytime. Love, Tapero

 

[rosesandravens]

Honey, I'm 18 and I still sleep with a nightlight on. Ignore what your friends are saying... they just don't understand. I'd encourage you to talk with an adult with whom you feel comfortable discussing the subject. *hugs* It'll be okay.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[oneandlonely]

Its totally ok to sleep with a night light and a radio on. I have to have a night light (my lava lamp) a CD on (so it will turn off after I fall asleep) and my teddy bear to be able to sleep. I really understand. Sleeping and night can be scary. I don't like being alone either, espesically home alone. I understand why that would scare you. I promise you aren't being silly for any of this. ignore your family.

Have you thought about talking to like your school counselor or pastor about this? they might be able to get you some more help.

s your in my prayers hun. If you ever want someone to talk to I'm here.

Bethany

 

[Taylor43]

I sleep with my radio on and there is nothing wrong with having a light on. I am praying for you and i am so sorry no one is hearing you, please do get some help from a pastor, counsellor also know i an others are here for you. It is not your fault and for me it took 6 years to tell anyone about my molestation it is still hard. I am here if you need to talk
Love
Taylor

 

[Chie]

About a month ago I just told my mom that I was sexually (not sure if it was assault or molestation yet) 3 years ago. either way, my dad doesn't know about it yet. My family pokes fun at me for sleeping with a nightlight and a radio on. My dad says that only babies need nightlights and radios. It makes me feel bad that my own family teases me, but it makes me feel worse that I even need to have these things to sleep. I also am afraid of having people behind me and being by myself. I wish that my parents would understand where I'm coming from. I'm getting so frustrated with all of this, especially since my friends don't understand, they say stuff like "Well, you should have told the police 3 years ago when it happened. This guy could have done these things to other girls too and then it would be your fault." or "You just need to get over it. Stop whining and acting like a baby. It's not that big of a deal." But to me it is, it's been taking over my whole life. I need some advice

Hello horseluva42792,
Prayers for you sweety.

My advice, well, I will just speak my heart.
Thank God you could share this with your mom.
It will be hard for your daddy to understand, when he doesn't know this tragic thing that has happened to his little girl.

I am praying you are able to talk to him, so he can embrace you and help you over come your fears.

Your friends you speak of, are not helping you by telling you what you should have done or placing the guilt on you for someone else's actions. Nor is it an outward show of Christ like attitude.

It is a hard thing to overcome the fear of being able to come forward and try to stop something like this happening to someone else. But none the less you are not responsible.
When we have understanding around us, things don't get so fustrating.
Being able to confide in your parents is a rare gift these days, if you have that in your life sweety, embrace it , cherish it, and exercise it.

The hotline you was given is a good place if you can't get the support from your parents(which should come first), your pastor, or a christian counselor.
Facing things, makes us gain control over them. You need to be able to over come this so it will not affect your life and those around you later on in years to come.
My prayers are with you, let me know if I can be of any help, I am here, if you need someone to talk with, I know where you are coming from, from my life's experience, Jesus be with you always. Sumei