Hello, my name is derick. im 23 years old, from virginia. I have 3 kids, who were recently taken from me due to my inability to care for them. Since December 2009 I have been having major problems. All my life ive had suicidal tendencies and depression, but starting in december I started losing touch with myself, I changed into someone that im not use to being, and dont wanna be. Ive tried to kill myself multiple times since, I hurt myself constantly, And no matter how hard I try im now at the point where I dont feel like I can make it on my own. The reason I came here today is not to give a life story, but to get an answer on a life problem. I know what its like to need mental help, and of course generally this is a mental health issue, but in february I was baptized and have been spiritually attacked over and over. Its compromised my family, and ruined alot of relationships with people that I have. I do nothing but sit and wallow in my own depression because no matter where I got ( I did try the hospital ) nothing seems to heal me and now im at the point to where im not just thinking about killing myself, I hear voices commanding me to. People all around the neighborhood I live in are having problems with anger and violence too. I strongly believe something incredibly spiritual is happening and I dont know what to do about it. Everytime someone prays for me I reject it even though I dont mean to, and when I try to pray I feel an actual physical force stopping me and I stop. I cant pray, or think right and I know better than all of this. I know god doesnt want this, and I know that demons want me because up until recently ive been a quite religious person, and I stand by god no matter what. I feel like something is very angry with me and wants me dead and I cant find a way out. Everyday I find myself with a knife to myself telling myself its only going to hurt for a little bit and it will be over, and I start getting violent with myself in my head commanding myself to do it but I know its not really my commanding myself to. then when I refuse I get angrier, and so do people around me and I start getting attacked by people and I hurt myself. Please people im not crazy, so dont take it as im some freak trying to start problems in your forum. I just dont know what to do anymore and im tired of the constant attacks. It wont leave my head and im afraid that even though im a strong person and im fighting it so far, that im not spiritually powerful enough to make it on my own. I need god back and ive lost him, and though I realize this I cant seem to get him back because I force him away. Im going to wind up dead
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I need serious advice
- Thread starter DerickLazell
- Start date
seashale76
Unapologetic Iconodule
- Dec 29, 2004
- 14,047
- 4,455
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- Melkite Catholic
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- Married
Here's the thing: The internet is always a bad place to work out your issues because it isn't the real world and you never know who is going to respond to you. Always be wary. I will pray for you though and give you advice.
1) Try to limit your internet time.
2) Read scripture, especially the Psalms.
3) You need to find a priest (in real life) ASAP. A priest can give you advice that, should you decide to follow it, could put you on the path to salvation. A priest will catechize you, pray over you, and administer the sacraments.
4) Why is that important? The Church is the hospital for sinners. Christ is the Great Physician. We all need the medicine for what ails us- the Body and Blood of Christ.
5) Here is a website where you can find an Orthodox church near you so you can seek out a priest to speak with: Orthodoxy in America
6) Here are some prayer resources for you with specific prayers:
P r a y e r
Let us
Abbreviated Prayerbook
Prayer for the Living
7) What is Orthodox Christianity?
OCA - The Orthodox Faith
Trisagion Prayers
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
O Heavenly King, Comforter, Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere present and fillest all things, Treasury of good things and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us of all impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us (thrice).
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
O Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us. O Lord, wash away our sins; O Master, pardon our iniquities; O Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy name's sake.
Lord, have mercy (three times).
Glory to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Our Father, Who art in the Heavens, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer to the Venerable Cross
Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered; and let those who hate Him flee from His face. As smoke vanishes, let them vanish; and as wax melts from the presence of fire, so let the demons perish from the presence of those who love God and who sign themselves with the Sign of the Cross and say with gladness: Hail, most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, for Thou drivest away the demons by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ Who was crucified on thee, went down to hell and trampled on the power of the devil, and gave us thee, His honorable Cross, for driving away all enemies. O most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, help me with our holy Lady, the Virgin Theotokos, and with all the Saints throughout the ages. Amen.
1) Try to limit your internet time.
2) Read scripture, especially the Psalms.
3) You need to find a priest (in real life) ASAP. A priest can give you advice that, should you decide to follow it, could put you on the path to salvation. A priest will catechize you, pray over you, and administer the sacraments.
4) Why is that important? The Church is the hospital for sinners. Christ is the Great Physician. We all need the medicine for what ails us- the Body and Blood of Christ.
5) Here is a website where you can find an Orthodox church near you so you can seek out a priest to speak with: Orthodoxy in America
6) Here are some prayer resources for you with specific prayers:
P r a y e r
Let us
Abbreviated Prayerbook
Prayer for the Living
7) What is Orthodox Christianity?
OCA - The Orthodox Faith
Trisagion Prayers
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
O Heavenly King, Comforter, Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere present and fillest all things, Treasury of good things and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us of all impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us (thrice).
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
O Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us. O Lord, wash away our sins; O Master, pardon our iniquities; O Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy name's sake.
Lord, have mercy (three times).
Glory to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Our Father, Who art in the Heavens, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer to the Venerable Cross
Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered; and let those who hate Him flee from His face. As smoke vanishes, let them vanish; and as wax melts from the presence of fire, so let the demons perish from the presence of those who love God and who sign themselves with the Sign of the Cross and say with gladness: Hail, most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, for Thou drivest away the demons by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ Who was crucified on thee, went down to hell and trampled on the power of the devil, and gave us thee, His honorable Cross, for driving away all enemies. O most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, help me with our holy Lady, the Virgin Theotokos, and with all the Saints throughout the ages. Amen.
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Calvary_Corps
Newbie
Well no advice to give you but I will have you in my prayers. God Bless and Keep You.
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DoctorJosh
Active Member
First, do you eat healthy? I mean real nutritious foods? The lack of nutrients has been proven to cause mental problems because if we don't eat right we cannot think right. We can eat all day and not get enough nutrients, just because the foods we eat are repossessed and cooked, chemically laced, etc. Also, what is it that you hate about your life so much? We tend to hate ourselves when our life is horrible and things fall down all around us, blaming ourselves for unforeseen events or for things we had no control over which we think we could have done something about. Also, do you blame God indirectly for what happened in your life? This will also cause rebellion against God and makes you feel angry with God that you don't want to Pray or even go to Church. So yes, you are having a spiritual battle within, regrets, and trying to find blame to why your life is the way it is. However, many like me have started over at least 10 times in life with nothing except a car to live in till I found a job and a place to live. It is hard, but keep the Faith, don't blame God and don't be so hard on yourself. Eat right, try and get as much nutrition as possible in your body, it will make a world of difference how you feel. If I don't eat all day, I get angry, cranky, depressed, sad, or just delirious and start laughing at anything. Its called lack of nutrition. We need proteins to help us think logically, we need natural sugars to keep our blood sugars balanced (even seen a diabetic not get their shot? they go crazy, eventually go into a coma.) Even there was an actor, forgot who that a few years ago went and saw a doctor about why he was having thoughts about saying he was going to die. Doctor suggested a certain diet. Why does this happen? This is usually our minds telling us we are starving from lack of nutrients since our body tries to let us know until it becomes a very serious matter and then your mind will start to play tricks on you. It is natural believe it or not for our bodies to do these things. So try these things to help. Eat right, get nutrition so you can think clearly since it does make a huge difference in how you feel, make amends with God, start living a Christian life no matter if you lose friends (I did, but God always gave me more friends), and focus on getting yourself back on track in life. Trust me on this, all you need is nutrition and start taking better care of yourself. God knows your heart and knows we sometimes do things we do not know why we do them, but its because we cannot think clearly when we are starving our body of nutrients. =) Throughout time many evil leaders prevented their slaves from eating anything with proteins because it would make the slaves easier to brain wash. So research super foods and eat well, and find you can live well with a healthy mind. God Bless. See and feel the difference.
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