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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
I need help!
- Thread starter rocker
- Start date
E-beth
Senior Contributor
- Feb 6, 2002
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"Leave him to Me'
OOOO I wouldn't want to be THAT guy!!
I think it is GREAT that things are starting to come to a head. And that God is active in every part of it. She is blessed to have a guy like you.
OOOO I wouldn't want to be THAT guy!!
I think it is GREAT that things are starting to come to a head. And that God is active in every part of it. She is blessed to have a guy like you.
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I'm glad things are working out for you.
This kind of thing can happen to anybody.
You have to be militant at prevention. I hope she has learned this now.
With the exception of a precious few, I only engage in IM with fellow moderators and only when holly is home. Sometimes, I will call her over to let her read something so she can see what's going on.
So everybody learn something from this thread.
Somewhere out there is someone you are not prepared to meet. They will be able to walk right into your heart before you know its happened. So make sure it doesn't happen.
We're all only human.
This kind of thing can happen to anybody.
You have to be militant at prevention. I hope she has learned this now.
With the exception of a precious few, I only engage in IM with fellow moderators and only when holly is home. Sometimes, I will call her over to let her read something so she can see what's going on.
So everybody learn something from this thread.
Somewhere out there is someone you are not prepared to meet. They will be able to walk right into your heart before you know its happened. So make sure it doesn't happen.
We're all only human.
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I would take this to his church and announce it. Maybe even hand out flyers. I would make up flyers and put them on car windshields. That's just me. His church needs to know he's a phony. I am sure he has done this before.
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EdmundBlackadderTheThird
Proud member of the Loud Few
There is no way to be sure he has done this before. That is judgemental and we only have one side of the story. Yes it looks really bad, bur ruining someone's life is not the Christian way to handle this. If the church needs to know it should be taken to the pastor or the elders and no-one else. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace. This needs to be done peacefully and with honor. We should set ourselves above the world and not try to destroy someone because they mad a mistake. This could be his first time and he could even be repentant when approached. Our flesh gets the better of all us and sin is sin. Every time we let our anger control us, look lustfully at someone, or any other sin then we are just as guilty as this man. We should remove the beams from our own eyes before trying to remove the splinter from his.
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You are right Desi...not out of the woods yet...but things look 100% better than they did even last week.
Wow what a hard week.
After my earlier post that I thought everything was resolved...boy was I wrong. Relapse...somebody warned me that it would happen and it did. I continued to monitor the computer with the spyware and throughout the week their communication had gotten back to where it was before.
By Friday night I had had enough...I told her about the spyware and that I knew everything. She was speechless, embarased (understatement) shocked and ashamed. I could tell all of that even though she was speechless...funny about that huh.
All day Saturday she wouldn't say a word to me...I felt like I was the one who was cheating!! I guess she needed time to think things over...I gave her that time and just trusted that God would come through...I was praying all day for His presense at home and to guide me through all this.
Saturday night was another breakthrough....we got to talking and she apologised for hurting me and went on to explain how she had gotten into this mess....she admitted that it was an emotional affair...she was conscious all the time that it was wrong but it was just the excitement of another guy giving her lots of attention that lured her. I was so glad that she was honest and forgave her.
Yesterday (Sunday) I was talking to my Pastor at church and he just casually asked how everything was. Maybe I should have but I didn't go into detail...I just said that I had a horrendous past 2 weeks, had a breakthrough last night and was battling to save my marriage. I think he read between the lines and gave me some encouragement. 5 mins later I was with my wife and the Pastor walked up to us and it was like God told him everything...he spoke directly to my wife and apparently spoke exactly what she needed to hear. I praise God for my Pastor...he listens to God and God speaks through him. What really hit my wife was when he said "everything you will ever need is in this man" (pointing to me)
Things are so much better now and there are no secrets...everything is out in the open. We will continue to have counselling with my Pastor and things are looking so bright. I cant promise that there will be more relapses but I will be ready...I made a commitment to make my marriage work and divorce is not and never will be an option to me.
Just as an encouragement to everyone here who is going through the same thing...bring God right into the midst of your situation...He is very interested in marriages and making them work...he has made my marriage a miracle and He can do the same for you.
Thanks again everyone
Peter
Wow what a hard week.
After my earlier post that I thought everything was resolved...boy was I wrong. Relapse...somebody warned me that it would happen and it did. I continued to monitor the computer with the spyware and throughout the week their communication had gotten back to where it was before.
By Friday night I had had enough...I told her about the spyware and that I knew everything. She was speechless, embarased (understatement) shocked and ashamed. I could tell all of that even though she was speechless...funny about that huh.
All day Saturday she wouldn't say a word to me...I felt like I was the one who was cheating!! I guess she needed time to think things over...I gave her that time and just trusted that God would come through...I was praying all day for His presense at home and to guide me through all this.
Saturday night was another breakthrough....we got to talking and she apologised for hurting me and went on to explain how she had gotten into this mess....she admitted that it was an emotional affair...she was conscious all the time that it was wrong but it was just the excitement of another guy giving her lots of attention that lured her. I was so glad that she was honest and forgave her.
Yesterday (Sunday) I was talking to my Pastor at church and he just casually asked how everything was. Maybe I should have but I didn't go into detail...I just said that I had a horrendous past 2 weeks, had a breakthrough last night and was battling to save my marriage. I think he read between the lines and gave me some encouragement. 5 mins later I was with my wife and the Pastor walked up to us and it was like God told him everything...he spoke directly to my wife and apparently spoke exactly what she needed to hear. I praise God for my Pastor...he listens to God and God speaks through him. What really hit my wife was when he said "everything you will ever need is in this man" (pointing to me)
Things are so much better now and there are no secrets...everything is out in the open. We will continue to have counselling with my Pastor and things are looking so bright. I cant promise that there will be more relapses but I will be ready...I made a commitment to make my marriage work and divorce is not and never will be an option to me.
Just as an encouragement to everyone here who is going through the same thing...bring God right into the midst of your situation...He is very interested in marriages and making them work...he has made my marriage a miracle and He can do the same for you.
Thanks again everyone
Peter
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William Nunn
Babies enjoy living too!
rocker said:
That's awesome. If more of us could be like that there would be many less broken marriages in this country. Right on rocker.
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seebs
God Made Me A Skeptic
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Sounds like you're doing a great job.
The thing to worry about, and I don't think you need to worry too much, is that she'll get cannier, rather than smarter, and figure out ways to hide things.
Here's what I recommend: Get counseling. Seriously. If she's falling for "guys who pay attention to her", she wants more attention. At this point, you have a long road ahead of you learning to better meet each others' needs. Get yourselves some counseling. Marriage is not one of those things that comes easily to most people.
The thing to worry about, and I don't think you need to worry too much, is that she'll get cannier, rather than smarter, and figure out ways to hide things.
Here's what I recommend: Get counseling. Seriously. If she's falling for "guys who pay attention to her", she wants more attention. At this point, you have a long road ahead of you learning to better meet each others' needs. Get yourselves some counseling. Marriage is not one of those things that comes easily to most people.
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Yes, this is what I'd think.seebs said:
No, this is where I differ form the 'get counseling' crowd. Act like a woman is interested in you to change her focus from him to you. When another woman is into you you become more desirable. Yes!, this is deceptive but it works and is cheap.seebs said:
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Interesting philosophy there desi!
I think I might just pass on that one...although it would be interesting to gauge her reaction!
We will be getting counselling very soon...from our Pastor...we couldn't ask for a better marriage counselor....and he is free!!
I think I might just pass on that one...although it would be interesting to gauge her reaction!
We will be getting counselling very soon...from our Pastor...we couldn't ask for a better marriage counselor....and he is free!!
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