I need help

[snail]

I tend to forget about Loving my neighbor, so to speak. I tend to enjoy combat, yet if I were to focus on a love and understanding I believe I would be alot better off. I am not a humble person.

What can I do?

Would all of you be so kind as to offer some suggestions to help me stay focused on being nice and understanding? I have alot to offer, I just get mixed up in the insanity sometimes.

Please Help Me,

Dave

 

[goldenviolet]

hello dave! i wonder what your neighbors are like. they can certainly try our patience when they are disrespectful, loud, don't watch kids, speed, swear, fight and yell, litter everywhere, park all wacky, graffttii the neighborhood, ignore quiet noise hours, etc, etc,...
i had the same problem a few years ago. some kids put shampoo in a neighbor's coy pond and killed her fish. the kid's parents blamed my kids because they said my kids were older and should have stopped them from going in the lady's yard. GGGRRRR. my kids were so horrified when the found out that's what the kids were doing; they offered to buy new coy for the owner. the owner said she wanted the kids who did it to pay. i said to the kid's mother; you can't exspect everyone else to watch your children. THE WAR WAS ON. 'crazy lady' is what the kids started chanting at me. OI!!... another neighbor, much closer has done everything i named above. ans another neighbor got mad at my five year old for scratching his car. she got scared and ran in the house to tell me: he came all 6'4" of him to yell at me for my wicked child who ran away from him. (our home owner's insurance paid him $2,000 for a four inch scratch. the man's father came over and apologized for his son handling it this way. another nieghbor lets her kids run wild. even leaves them home alone. then we have the biker-gang house, the suspicious drug house, and the lady who drives like a mad woman. oh! and the kids who don't move for your car. all of this at a dead end. we're in the corner! trapped by it all.
how did i learn to live here? alot of prayer and tears, venting to my hubby. phoning the police, and bumping heads... and continuing to hash it out. i invite them to family nights at church. movie nights, events, sometimes services. (mostly the events because instead of getting preached at, we welcome the community to get to know us and encourage them to come)... i always wave and say hi! i stop to chat, ignoring the cussing, i bake goodies or buy cookies on holidays. i've apologized a few times for loosing my temper over disputes. i try to stand up for our peace; and except them and their idea of peace (not always easy).... did i mention prayer? !!! just one day at a time. pray for opportunities to show peace and graciousness.... now, years later. some have moved clap lol... some mellowed out, some equally as apologetic, and for the most part, living in a dead end, we've learned to ignore what we have no control over. ... if anything; internalize your frustations to your walk with Jesus, and work at solving issues as if it's just you and Jesus. i think we will suffer through alot of trials with our nieghbors... until we finally can move into a retirement community. ~ love dee

 

[Nobility]

My best way to do this is to simply "think before I speak" and if it's not nice and not helpful then DO NOT say it. (I don't pretend this is easy)

Or you could use the saying many mothers have told there kids over the years... "If it's not nice, don't say it."

 

[snail]

My best way to do this is to simply "think before I speak" and if it's not nice and not helpful then DO NOT say it. (I don't pretend this is easy)

Or you could use the saying many mothers have told there kids over the years... "If it's not nice, don't say it."

This tends to get me in trouble, while this is some of the best advice on the planet. What I think is nice and helpfull seems to rub people the wrong way.

So, yes being courteous polite, but can you give me some examples?

A couple things which are easy for me are like opening the doors, letting others ahead in lines etc. Things that are more difficult are when I am highly opinionated on an issue or subject.

Maybe if all could post a for instance? Some of them I'm sure I already do, but it is nice to hear it again and remember how good it feels to be nice. I need to "Walk the Walk" more.

Dave

 

[snail]

Dee, at the present time my neighbors are pretty much non existant. Quiet and don't even try to get to know me. I have been at this place for 2 months, and have not even really seen any of them.

Understandable, as it is 100 + degrees out here and nobody hangs around outside

Different forums and the people who chat on them are more like neighbors for the time. I'm sure there is much I can learn, and as much that does not sound nice.

To keep on a friendly supportive path is my aspiration. This is not something I have done well with in the past, and am making a more concerted effort now.

There is no way in the past that I would have made cookies or anything like that to anyone who ticked me off. Maybe someday...

Dave

 

[onewithnature]

What exactly are you trying to do? are yu trying to show people that you areloving, or are you trying to feel compassion for others?

If you have a problem feeling little compassion for others, that that is something that can be solved easily.

Go to a park or a forest, or somewhere around nature if you want to make this easier. Take a look around, and clear your mind first, let thoughts flow, and don´t block them. Let things be, and soon you will feel your thoughts calming down. After your mind is calm, look aroud you, and don´t think "the tree is beatyful", simply feel the tree. Feel love for everything that´s arround you, even specs of dust, and things that don´t seem to be alive. Feel compassion for everything.

While you talk to people later, remember that it´s not their fault is they were raised to be what they are. They are influenced by their surroundings, and if they were never shown what you were shown, it´s not their fault. You have to be in a certain state of mind to start to think the way you do, and some people were not shown that state of mind.


You need to feel love, don´t "try" to feel love, just feel it. you don´t "try" to walk do you? you simply walk.