I need help!

[MrErn]

Hello. This is my first post and Im going to try and explain what has happened to me but it might end up getting sloppy and crazy. Ive just recently been out of a relationship sence september or so. I was engaged to be married. We were together about 4 years. She has CF and our first 2 years together she was perfectly healthy and the relationship was fantastic! The latter 2 years I started questioning her wearabouts and she started lieing to me and the relationship had some break periods where we were on and off a couple times. As the relationship started going sour she started to get more and more sick. She ended up in the hospital about 4 weeks the first time and I stayed everynight and was by her bedside. She then got out of the hospital and well ended up cheating on me and now she is right back in the hospital again but shes been there sence november. We broke up after she cheated on me. She broke up with me. I mean, I love this women with all my heart and there wasnt anything in this world I wouldnt do for her. It made me sooo happy and feel sooo good when I made her happy. I mean joy in life to me was making her feel like she was ontop of the world. Anways, its no almost feb. and the good Lord has put me in this brand new home which is just awesome! I went straight from living at home into a 120k house. I have a great house, a good family and a fantastic job but no her. The reason im writing this is becuase today my mother deceded to go with me to check out some furniture for my house and my phone rang while we were looking around. I looked at the number and didnt think twice about it and thought "eh, theyll leave a message" and as soon as I thought that I noticed that the number was her cell phone number! I havent spoke to her sence september. Now im scared and my anxiety is through the roof ( Im on medication for it too ). What do I do? Was it really her? Could it have been her boyfriend going through her phone? I dont know what to do or think. I miss her soooo much and I still love her even after all she put me through.

The thing is, last night before I went to sleep, I talked to God and I told him that I forgive her for what she has done to me and to please forgive me for any resentment or any other wicked things that came into my mind over this.

Is it strange that she called the very next day after I told God this? We were together 4 years and I knew she had a disease and that I would have to care for her but I didnt care. Thats what I wanted from life. I loved her for who she was and her sickness wasnt going to scare me away. I have been by her bedside ever sence till we broke up. I know this is lengthy but Ive been in soo much torment and tormoil that past couple months just thinking. I dont ever see me being with another women ever again. She is the only person I can see myself with in the future. Im 24 and shes 21. She is a bit young and immature at times but I was ready for marriage at 21 and thats what I wanted. I kinda just skipped the whole party thing and went straight for settling down and It felt like thats what God wanted me to do.

Alot of people dont understand how I feel but yet its hard to explain. She was seriously my other half. I love her so much and honestly I dont know if I could take her back due to trust but on the other hand I would in an instant. I know ill get alot of redicule and stuff from people if I take her back but its whatever God wants.

Her real dad and my mother have been friends for 25 years and they always said, "What if we had children one day and they fell in love?" Well guess what, that happened. That is just crazy! It was like God meant for it, but why am I not with her. Im very unhappy without her. I feel like I should be next to her bed right now like I used to be. She is in need of a lung transplant and Im scared to death she wont make it.

What should I do? Please pray for me! :-(
Im sorry this is long but I figured if anyone is going to listen it should be people from this type of forum.

 

[lady4theallmighty]

Welcome to CF, I think you will find this to be a supportive community for you!

I think that you need to keep praying about this and give it over to God. He has plans for you and you must trust Him in this. If His plans do not include a woman who clearly doesn't respect you, then be still and know that He has something so much better in store for you!

Do you have a church that you attend regulary? It could help to talk to a pastor about this, or seek a Christian counselor.

You can't change this woman, but you can pray for her!

I will pray that you seek guidance from the Lord and trust in His plan.

Blessings

 

[Porkweez]

Welcome to CF, I think you will find this to be a supportive community for you!

I think that you need to keep praying about this and give it over to God. He has plans for you and you must trust Him in this. If His plans do not include a woman who clearly doesn't respect you, then be still and know that He has something so much better in store for you!

Do you have a church that you attend regulary? It could help to talk to a pastor about this, or seek a Christian counselor.

You can't change this woman, but you can pray for her!

I will pray that you seek guidance from the Lord and trust in His plan.

Blessings

I am agreeing with this and standing on the promise that God is in control.

 

[MrErn]

Thanks for the replys. Ya im leaving it up to him. I just couldnt believe after I told God I forgave her last night and asked for forgiveness myself that she called the very next day? Why?

 

[lady4theallmighty]

Did you speak to her when she called? Are you convinced that her phone call was an act of God?

I think you should consider asking God to help you focus on Him and not on her, ask for the Holy Spirit to be inside of you and change you. God wants your first focus to be on HIM not on her

Blessings

 

[MrErn]

No, I didnt speak to her. I didnt recognize the number at first then as soon as the called ended I then realized who it was. After that, I wasnt sure If I should call her back or not. I dont know what to think about that phone call? I wish I knew what it meant. Ill keep prayer on it and see what happens. Maybe the phone will ring again.

 

[Antje]

Your devotion to this woman is certainly admirable. However, if she doesn't want to be with you, or at least if she doesn't want to marry you right now, then she's probably right in breaking up with you. Chances are, she knows she won't be happy in a relationship with you right now, and you've got to believe her on that one. It's okay to break up, even if it hurts a lot. Please be willing to accept that she is not the one for you. Pray lots. If she is the one, then God will bring you back together, but you can't make that happen. Give it all to God, let him take care of it, but don't get stuck as her "backup boyfriend".

 

[MrErn]

I understand if she didnt want to be with me but to cheat on me? I dont understand nore will I understand why people do such a thing.

 

[BigNorsk]

I would say you should call her back. No use wondering what's up, just find out. Simply say you noticed she called so you called back.

A couple of things I would say too. She is in a tough place to be, especially as a young person she hasn't had a lifetime of experience on which to draw upon in tough times.

What she is going through can be very scary and her emotions can be expected to be a bit of a roller coaster. It is possible that her cheating on you was acting out that she "wanted to live a bit" when she was maybe scared of dying. And her breaking up with you might have been that she did not want to burden you with her rather than that she really wanted to break up.

With the way you feel about her, it's a big mistake not to call. If she died tonight, you'd likely wonder your whole life why she called and what she wanted to say.

Call her back, and remember the situation she is in. She might say some not very nice things at times and it is because of the stress she is under, I realize that her illness is stressful for you too, in some ways more stressful, but we all react different ways and the right thing to do is to interpret things in a merciful way.

Marv

 

[MaidforHim]

You've both been through a lot together for your young ages, sorry to hear that. Everyone here has given some really good advice.

The only thing I would add is if you two do decide to give your relationship another shot I hope you seek God, His will and both of you take the time to get closer to Him. He can give you the wisdom to know if you should be together and the strength to handle what ever comes your way. Seek Him in all things, first and foremost.

 

[pete56]

I agree with Marv

At the moment you are tearing yourself apart wondering why she called you and whether you should have answered. So call her number. If her current B/f answers well you have your answer! If she responds, speak with her (you did say you have forgiven her earlier) tell her how you feel and ask her how she is?

Then if God is leading this well you will have done what you felt led to do and He will make clear the next few steps.

As for the infidelity bit - well if you are planning to keep remembering this everytime you think about your SO then you are better off not restarting the relationship. Temptation and sin abound in this world, even amongst Christians! We would all rather it was not so but sadly that is our lot and we need to be forgiving about it. That is why Our Lord taught us to pray - forgive us our sins as we forgive others!

Pete

 

[MrErn]

Alright, I called her. We talked for almost 2 hours. Emotions were high and it was like a roller coaster but I felt alot better that I called her back and got to talk to her. I got an apology for what she did which was very nice and she told me how she was doing health wise and how the family was doing. She is still with her current boyfriend which I think she isnt happy with. She misses me like crazy and still loves me. Im not pushing anything and I just spoke from my heart and was honest and told the truth about how things were going in my life and about how I felt. I also told her she has some soulsearching to do and that she really needs to get God into her life.

She told me she is really upset with herself right now for what she did. Shes very emtional when her family brings my name up or talks about me she says. Im not sure what to do but im just letting God guide me and im trying to not let my emotion go rampid.

Im loving the repsonses so keep em coming! It helps to see what you all have to say.

Pray for me to please!

 

[lady4theallmighty]

Alright, I called her. We talked for almost 2 hours. Emotions were high and it was like a roller coaster but I felt alot better that I called her back and got to talk to her. I got an apology for what she did which was very nice and she told me how she was doing health wise and how the family was doing. She is still with her current boyfriend which I think she isnt happy with. She misses me like crazy and still loves me. Im not pushing anything and I just spoke from my heart and was honest and told the truth about how things were going in my life and about how I felt. I also told her she has some soulsearching to do and that she really needs to get God into her life.

She told me she is really upset with herself right now for what she did. Shes very emtional when her family brings my name up or talks about me she says. Im not sure what to do but im just letting God guide me and im trying to not let my emotion go rampid.

Im loving the repsonses so keep em coming! It helps to see what you all have to say.

Pray for me to please!

God is so good! Good for you for letting the spirit guide you!! I think it will help for her to see you being "jesus like". I would think she is emotional when her family brings up your name because she is in such turmoil inside right now. How about praying for her to be broken down in front of the Lord? I will pray for you and for her. God will be faithful, and He has a plan, trust this.

Many blessings to you!