I need help!

[chloeobrien]

I have an addiction and its not drinking or any kind of drugs. I hurt myself. I cut my forearm. Sometimes with words and sometimes just single cuts. In the spring it got really bad, the cuts were getting really deep and they started multiplying. I haven't since then, but the thoughts are there and very strong, and I just want to be free of it all. I still struggle with hurting myself. I want to often but I fight myself not too. I don't want it in my life anymore, I want to learn new ways to cope with my unbearable emotions. I hate it, i feel like its taken over me and I want it to go away forever. If anyone can help, I would really appreciated. Maybe some of you have struggled with it yourself, or know someone that has. I need help! I wish i could just .

This is what I posted on another thread in this site, then I was shown this one. I need help and I don't know how to get it. My therapist and psychiatrist try to help but they don't really know how to. They do their best but there best isn't helping me stop and get this out of my life forever. They help a lot with things associated with the rape I went through last year, the house fire that I went through 5 years ago, and the child abuse from my father 4-6 years ago. They help with a lot just not with this.

 

[0145xyz]

1st thanks for taking my advice on coming here, you'll probably get much better support here than on the womens forum-because people here understand.

2nd is there any alternative coping skills that have worked for you in the past? there are so many to choose from-you have to find what works best for you.

How long have you been in therapy?

you sound like you are ready for recovery, i believe you can do it. You have support here and support from God.

 

[HolyOne87]

first of all, *big hugs to you*.
I know how it feels somewhat to be in your shoes..mainly the cutting part. I thought I was free for a while from it..but then suddenly urges started to arise and unfortunately i gave in twice recently..but I keep saying, "i know i can beat this! I am strong, I have the will power"..so I get up and keep going. I have the support of my two best friends as well.
I fully believe you can stop too. Although sometimes the urges can be unbearable..it isnt hard to fight them off sometimes. Sometimes, I write my pain down..or listen to music that gives me the strength to pull away from hurting myself.
The urges will take time to go away however. I am still fighting and I've been fighting for a good 11 months now.
What I would do is, maybe find something that brings you joy(maybe it would be reading, writing, talking to friends,etc) and do it a lot..and do it in times you feel like hurting yourself or even when you dont feel like it. Sometimes just doing those things can get your mind off of it.
I also would want to ask how long you have been in therapy.
as Sandra said, you have all the support from us! We know you can do it!!!!We have faith in you!! a lot of it!

I shall pray for you!

+God Bless+

 

[mitiog]

It's great that you are able to share your story here. I'm relatively new to the forum and already I've eperienced much support and encouragement from others.

Stay close to the Lord. Draw near to him and he will draw near to you. He loves you very much and he will lead you through this difficult time. I've been there and I'm coming through it s-l-o-w-l-y so I know in His strength it is possible.

mitiog

 

[chloeobrien]

I was in therapy for a short time in high school, my mom forced me to. Then later down the road in high school I tried seeing a therapist on my own at home and she scared me. Then after I was raped last year, I started therapy about a year ago from yesterday. I really like the therapist I have now she really helps with a lot, and is really understanding. Today I just got informed that my therapist actually knows a lot about SI, and tomorrow when I see her, she and I are going to talk about it more, especially since I've had self-injurous thoughts since last night. Going to talka bout that and work through that. Do any of you have OCD? because I feel like the thought of hurting myself won't go away unless I hurt myself and then I realized that's a lot like my OCD talkin, and wondering if self-injury can be treated in a similar way.


For my OCD my therapist currently has me reading brain lock to help with it all, and it really makes sense for that.

 

[chloeobrien]

I assume my last post was too graphic to post up here, and I am sorry if it was. I will reword things differently.

Last night I damaged my SI tool and threw it away. I can find others but I am hoping that by getting rid of the primary tools when I feel ready to will help me to show myself that I don't need to use them as tools against myself anymore. That maybe I can see them as bad for tools but good for other uses. I cried a lot after and felt scared. I had therapy this morning and my therapist and I talked about it and she seems to be helping out a lot better now. I wasn't sure I could go through with recovery until after I got some good rest with a 3 hour nap, and then I felt good about what I did and feel like I can continue in recovery. I know its going to be hard, but I now belive that I CAN do it!

 

[0145xyz]

YAY! I'm happy things are going better for you. You can do it! don't by the tools you disposed-don't let yourself. And use whatever alternative coping skill works.