I don't know what to say, I've never had a problem going to my community for help. My church has always been there for me, my friends, my family. I attended services every Sunday for as long as I can remember before leaving for college, participated in community events and fund raisers. I led my small town varsity football team to championship as quarterback two years ago. None of this seems to matter now.
Six months ago, I returned home from college to see my friends and family, and most importantly, my girlfriend of five years. Our relationship has been rough since I left. She is worried that being away is causing me to lose interest in her. After trying to be intimate, I had to confess. I told her I wanted to be together, and take our relationship further, but I had a problem and I needed help.
I've had homosexual urges since I started taking football serious at 15. Every breathing moment since then I've been trying to ignore the thoughts in my head. I quit the college football team to avoid being around other men, which, at the time was very difficult to "explain" to my parents.
I confessed to her that I had been with another man.
After laying it out, I could tell looking into her eyes that it was a mistake. We have not spoken since then. Apparently she told her family about it, who in turn, spread the word throughout my church and community. When I made the trip home during spring break, I found myself in a very hostile environment. It was made clear that I was not welcome at the church I had attended for so many years. None of my old friends would speak to me. My family was pretty quiet the whole time I was there. I was able to speak with my pasteur before leaving. He told me I should seek help from the lord, and to see if any of the local churches near my college offered sexual reorientation groups.
To be honest, the experience left me very upset. I felt like everybody had turned their back on me. I was so upset that I didn't want to do anything about the problem. Who cares if I am gay, so what? Now that a few months have passed, I've come to my senses. I called my parents the other day to arrange coming home for the summer. I figured maybe I could seek help back home and have an easier time getting through the whole thing. They said maybe I should consider getting a job in the city and supporting myself.
I stumbled into this place while searching the internet for a place to speak with fellow Christians, and I noticed this section for struggles with sexuality. What advice, if any, do you have? Has anybody here participated in one of these reorientation groups? Would I be welcomed and treated like a human, or like I have some sort of disease? I want to get past this problem. It has cost me a great girl, and the support of my family and friends. At this point though, I feel like even god does not love me.
Six months ago, I returned home from college to see my friends and family, and most importantly, my girlfriend of five years. Our relationship has been rough since I left. She is worried that being away is causing me to lose interest in her. After trying to be intimate, I had to confess. I told her I wanted to be together, and take our relationship further, but I had a problem and I needed help.
I've had homosexual urges since I started taking football serious at 15. Every breathing moment since then I've been trying to ignore the thoughts in my head. I quit the college football team to avoid being around other men, which, at the time was very difficult to "explain" to my parents.
I confessed to her that I had been with another man.
After laying it out, I could tell looking into her eyes that it was a mistake. We have not spoken since then. Apparently she told her family about it, who in turn, spread the word throughout my church and community. When I made the trip home during spring break, I found myself in a very hostile environment. It was made clear that I was not welcome at the church I had attended for so many years. None of my old friends would speak to me. My family was pretty quiet the whole time I was there. I was able to speak with my pasteur before leaving. He told me I should seek help from the lord, and to see if any of the local churches near my college offered sexual reorientation groups.
To be honest, the experience left me very upset. I felt like everybody had turned their back on me. I was so upset that I didn't want to do anything about the problem. Who cares if I am gay, so what? Now that a few months have passed, I've come to my senses. I called my parents the other day to arrange coming home for the summer. I figured maybe I could seek help back home and have an easier time getting through the whole thing. They said maybe I should consider getting a job in the city and supporting myself.
I stumbled into this place while searching the internet for a place to speak with fellow Christians, and I noticed this section for struggles with sexuality. What advice, if any, do you have? Has anybody here participated in one of these reorientation groups? Would I be welcomed and treated like a human, or like I have some sort of disease? I want to get past this problem. It has cost me a great girl, and the support of my family and friends. At this point though, I feel like even god does not love me.
