I need help forgiving my RCIA class

[JesusLovesOurLady]

Today's mass was actually quite above average. The parish I'm stuck in right now has a large Indian population and so occasionally, they will Syro-Malabar hymns at mass. At first the Syro-Malabar music was, I hope this doesn't sound too xenophobic but, kind of Bollywood sounding, but as things progressed the music improved and got more reverent. (I remember one time, the Syro-Malabar choir experimenting with different tunes. One of the tunes they considered was really nice and reverent, and as they experimented with it I heard one woman who sitting near me say "That's not Church music!" ) Anyways, today the Syro-Malabar music being played there was really good. The homily and message from Sacred scripture on the other hand, were something else.

The main message of todays homily and Gospel, was forgiving others, and I've realized that I've had a hard time forgiving me modernist/cafeteria catholic RCIA class. It's not even that I won't get back at them or shut them down, -I mean I hope that the parish priest has talked to them and got them to change, at least slightly, the stuff they're teaching- it's just that, I struggle with the shame of it all. I need to overcome this, it may be that God won't let me move until I've overcome this.

I'm going to read FishEaters Conversion of Heart article again, (See here: https://www.fisheaters.com/conversionoftheheart.html) that article really moved me. Please pray that I can forgive my RCIA class and move on.

 

[thecolorsblend]

Everybody has a preference. My old parish used the Celtic Alleluia and I loved that since, coming from Celtic stock as I do, it resonates with me. Then they switched to something else that I thought sounded... well, not good. Put it that way. I experience no guilt or remorse for mourning the loss of my Celtic Alleluia. There's nothing "xenophobic" (whatever that even means anymore) about not relating to other forms of these things.

As to forgiveness... yeah. That's a toughie. Today I ended up at the parish through which I tried to join RCIA. It didn't go very well because long boring pointless story. I haven't set foot inside this parish ever since and I doubted I ever would again. I only remembered the bad, the negative and the discouraging.

But I showed up today and you know what? I saw precisely nobody from my old RCIA group. The pastor gave a meaningful and relevant homily about forgiveness (like a lot of homilies today, I'm sure). I realized at that moment that I'm the only one who cares or probably even remembers what happened with my first attempt at RCIA.

Everyone else has moved on. There was no intent to drive me up the wall with their impossible demands and there was truly no ill intent on their part. So if there aren't any hard feelings there, why should there be hard feelings for me?

The thing about being wronged by others is they often forget after it happens. Not always, but often. Roasting in your own anger is bad enough. But the people we're angry at either don't remember us or else don't bear us any ill will even if they do remember.

In the end, it becomes poison in our veins and it's all so useless because it's totally one-sided. The victims suffer alone because the perpetrators never gave a second thought to anything.

It's easy to say just let it go. Actually letting it go is a lot harder. I have no idea what happened with your RCIA experience but depending on what it was, there's a pretty good chance that whoever upset you long ago forgot about the whole thing. Not sure if that helps any but there it is.

 

[JesusLovesOurLady]

The thing about being wronged by others is they often forget after it happens. Not always, but often. Roasting in your own anger is bad enough. But the people we're angry at either don't remember us or else don't bear us any ill will even if they do remember.

In the end, it becomes poison in our veins and it's all so useless because it's totally one-sided. The victims suffer alone because the perpetrators never gave a second thought to anything.

It's easy to say just let it go. Actually letting it go is a lot harder. I have no idea what happened with your RCIA experience but depending on what it was, there's a pretty good chance that whoever upset you long ago forgot about the whole thing. Not sure if that helps any but there it is.

The problem for me is that, it's more what I did, or rather didn't do, that's the problem. The RCIA class was preaching modernism, cafeteria catholicism, and anti-TradCat bigotry, and I did was sit there with my head bowed, not speaking-up. Part of me longs to let them know I'm a Traditional Catholic, and then let them come up to me and yell it me and tell me how horrible I am for believing the Truth. But I can't, desire that, I know that's not good for me. I need to leave, leave all this behind and move on, I can't let this torment me anymore.

I need focus more an God, and less on the darkness of this day and age.

 

[Michie]

Prayers for your intentions! You are growing by leaps and bounds through your struggles.

Today's mass was actually quite above average. The parish I'm stuck in right now has a large Indian population and so occasionally, they will Syro-Malabar hymns at mass. At first the Syro-Malabar music was, I hope this doesn't sound too xenophobic but, kind of Bollywood sounding, but as things progressed the music improved and got more reverent. (I remember one time, the Syro-Malabar choir experimenting with different tunes. One of the tunes they considered was really nice and reverent, and as they experimented with it I heard one woman who sitting near me say "That's not Church music!" ) Anyways, today the Syro-Malabar music being played there was really good. The homily and message from Sacred scripture on the other hand, were something else.

The main message of todays homily and Gospel, was forgiving others, and I've realized that I've had a hard time forgiving me modernist/cafeteria catholic RCIA class. It's not even that I won't get back at them or shut them down, -I mean I hope that the parish priest has talked to them and got them to change, at least slightly, the stuff they're teaching- it's just that, I struggle with the shame of it all. I need to overcome this, it may be that God won't let me move until I've overcome this.

I'm going to read FishEaters Conversion of Heart article again, (See here: https://www.fisheaters.com/conversionoftheheart.html) that article really moved me. Please pray that I can forgive my RCIA class and move on.

 

[thecolorsblend]

The problem for me is that, it's more what I did, or rather didn't do, that's the problem. The RCIA class was preaching modernism, cafeteria catholicism, and anti-TradCat bigotry, and I did was sit there with my head bowed, not speaking-up. Part of me longs to let them know I'm a Traditional Catholic, and then let them come up to me and yell it me and tell me how horrible I am for believing the Truth. But I can't, desire that, I know that's not good for me. I need to leave, leave all this behind and move on, I can't let this torment me anymore.

I need focus more an God, and less on the darkness of this day and age.

Understandable. I've got a few trad leanings myself. Even a lot of cardinals are willing to acknowledge that the trads have a point.

It sounds like a lot of these people had no idea how you felt. But as to the cafeteria thing... when I was enrolled in RCIA (and it wasn't for very long) there were a lot of people in there only because they were marrying Catholics. It was probably split 50/50 between people getting married and people of conviction.

Here's the thing though. Those cafeteria Catholics and modernists and whatnot will receive the same sacraments as you, listen to the same readings and be members of the same Church. Yeah, they said things you found hurtful.

But in the end, time is on the trads' side. The modernists can't turn a blind eye to the trad case forever. Even some cardinals are perfectly willing to admit the trads have a point.

As to the rest, I've been wanting to check out the other Rites for a while now. But who has time? My city has Ukranian, Byzantine and Maronite. But I don't think there's a Syro-Malabar parish nearby. Is the Syro-Malabar pretty good overall (except the Bollywood stuff)?

 

[JesusLovesOurLady]

Understandable. I've got a few trad leanings myself. Even a lot of cardinals are willing to acknowledge that the trads have a point.

It sounds like a lot of these people had no idea how you felt. But as to the cafeteria thing... when I was enrolled in RCIA (and it wasn't for very long) there were a lot of people in there only because they were marrying Catholics. It was probably split 50/50 between people getting married and people of conviction.

Here's the thing though. Those cafeteria Catholics and modernists and whatnot will receive the same sacraments as you, listen to the same readings and be members of the same Church. Yeah, they said things you found hurtful.

But in the end, time is on the trads' side. The modernists can't turn a blind eye to the trad case forever. Even some cardinals are perfectly willing to admit the trads have a point.

As to the rest, I've been wanting to check out the other Rites for a while now. But who has time? My city has Ukranian, Byzantine and Maronite. But I don't think there's a Syro-Malabar parish nearby. Is the Syro-Malabar pretty good overall (except the Bollywood stuff)?

Yeah, we actually had a member there who was only there because he was going to marry a Catholic, and ended up never showing up.

The parish isn't a Syro-Malabar parish, it's a Latin-rite parish with a high Indian population. Syro-Malabar music is usually good, or at least way better than the Hick-music that's usually played at that parish. The main parish priest is pretty good, but there's this other priest who seems to be well-versed in modernist and cafeteria-catholic heresies. Overall, the church staff seems to be dominated by modernist and cafeteria catholics.

 

[JesusLovesOurLady]

The main message of todays homily and Gospel, was forgiving others, and I've realized that I've had a hard time forgiving me modernist/cafeteria catholic RCIA class. It's not even that I won't get back at them or shut them down, -I mean I hope that the parish priest has talked to them and got them to change, at least slightly, the stuff they're teaching- it's just that, I struggle with the shame of it all. I need to overcome this, it may be that God won't let me move until I've overcome this.

I'm going to read FishEaters Conversion of Heart article again, (See here: https://www.fisheaters.com/conversionoftheheart.html) that article really moved me. Please pray that I can forgive my RCIA class and move on.

The problem for me is that, it's more what I did, or rather didn't do, that's the problem. The RCIA class was preaching modernism, cafeteria catholicism, and anti-TradCat bigotry, and I did was sit there with my head bowed, not speaking-up. Part of me longs to let them know I'm a Traditional Catholic, and then let them come up to me and yell it me and tell me how horrible I am for believing the Truth. But I can't, desire that, I know that's not good for me. I need to leave, leave all this behind and move on, I can't let this torment me anymore.

I need focus more an God, and less on the darkness of this day and age.

I guess I should also ask for prayers that I can forgive myself, since I've also been beating myself up, and wallowing in shame over what I have failed to do.