I need guidance.

[tillergirl]

I know I am falling off the path but seem helpless to stop it from happening.
I just need someone to point me back.

I'll explain.
From the age of 6 I was abused by a neighbour for some years it stopped around the time I approached 10.
When I was fourteen Icouldn't cope with keeping it to myself anymore and so reported it to the police only to have my mother accuse me of lieing, which I can honestly say hurt me deeply.

For years now I have been getting on with my life like a normal person but recently have been having some very vivid flashbacks which has put me very close to depression.

But the hardest thing is I find myself felling betrayed by God because while the abuse was happening my mother was attending church meetings. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I just can't help it at the momement.

I just want to scream sometimes.
I know the big part of faith is forgiveness and I have never managed that up to now and am not sure how I will ever.

Like I say in the title I need guidance of how to get through this and past it I just feel so alone at the momement and I dont know what to do.

Thankyou for listening to me

 

[inHisgripkim]

I know I am falling off the path but seem helpless to stop it from happening.
I just need someone to point me back.

I'll explain.
From the age of 6 I was abused by a neighbour for some years it stopped around the time I approached 10.
When I was fourteen Icouldn't cope with keeping it to myself anymore and so reported it to the police only to have my mother accuse me of lieing, which I can honestly say hurt me deeply.

For years now I have been getting on with my life like a normal person but recently have been having some very vivid flashbacks which has put me very close to depression.

But the hardest thing is I find myself felling betrayed by God because while the abuse was happening my mother was attending church meetings. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I just can't help it at the momement.

I just want to scream sometimes.
I know the big part of faith is forgiveness and I have never managed that up to now and am not sure how I will ever.

Like I say in the title I need guidance of how to get through this and past it I just feel so alone at the momement and I dont know what to do.

Thankyou for listening to me

Tiller:

I am so sorry that you are hurting. Our faith gets put to the test when we go through the rough periods. The Lord is faithful and will pull you back to Him. Tiller, maybe you might want to try some counseling. It is so very beneficial. I've finished up Rape Crisis counseling over a year ago. I went every week for an entire year. You probably have a similar organization near you. counseling is on a sliding scale. So if you can't afford it, you don't have to pay.

You ask for guidance. Counseling is your best choice. Second choice is to get plugged into a church. Some churches have faith couseling services.

Make yoursel get up and go to some counseling sessions. You will find that it really keeps you centered and it really helps with recovery.\

God bless you dear. We are praying for you. Cling to the Lord, okay?

Gentleness to you,
Kim

 

[deb7648]

i wish i could take the pain from you please know
you will be in my prayers every day

 

[Rosebaronet]

First of all, you are not responsible for other people's free will, and the thought of you betraying the Lord was nonsensical because you honestly did not will it.

I hope all of us here can bear some of the cross for you, so talking to some of us may help.

Let me tel you, there is no such thing as "normal person" you are special, I think the flashbacks might be a sign that you should deal with it now, because you are stronger, our prayers are with you, we will pray for your strength and wisdom, do not lose faith, sister, for we love you, and the Lord loves you more.

 

[Johnnz]

It's real hard sometimes trying to seperate God from those who claim to follow Him. But we must do that.

Also, we struggle with "Why did you let that happen to me?" questions. There is no easy answer to the pain behind that question. Healing and getting on with our lives requires that we develop a good relationship with God based on good reasons,a nd just put those questions on the shelf for a while. It's from our relationship with God that we can find healing and hope, not getting answers before we can trust in Him. That is quite a big ask, but it is the way forward.

May you know God's love for you coming through all your pain and confusion amd may he give you peace.

John
NZ

 

[seeking_His_truth]

That is a terrible thing what you went through, and made harder by being ignored. But you know what, God does care for you! Forgivness is essential to our faith, I believe that too. I think if you pray to God to let Him forgive this person for you, it will work. What you endured is terrible, but think of how great your life can become from moving on. God has big plans for all of us, but we have to trust him. I pray that you are given a sense of peace. God will listen to you...

 

[lucybee]

But the hardest thing is I find myself felling betrayed by God because while the abuse was happening my mother was attending church meetings. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I just can't help it at the momement.

I just want to scream sometimes.
I know the big part of faith is forgiveness and I have never managed that up to now and am not sure how I will ever.

God knows how you feel, He understands. Just remember that He didnt betray you, He is here beside you, waiting for you to talk to Him. He can handle it all, pour yourself out to Him and tell Him how you feel. You cannot hurt God, and you will feel better.

I have found that forgiveness comes with healing. It is not easy I will admit that. When you are at your lowest you cant even begin to forgive the people who hurt you. You hate them with such a passion. But once you start to heal, forgiveness doesnt seem so far off or so hard. I still do not like the one who hurt me, I am not saying that you will ever love them or even feel comfortable near them or even talking about them, I dont. But maybe, just maybe you will understand how you can forgive them, and you can work towards it.

Scream, scream to your hearts content. It will help. Go to a gym and hit a punching bag, write letters and burn them, run, or just sit and cry. Pour out your feelings in the best way you know how that makes you feel comfortable. Bottling up your emotions is not healthy and it makes you feel horrible.

If you want to, go talk to someone. If for some reason you dont want to, or cant, remember that we are here for you and will help the best that we know how and can. We understand what you are going through and nothing you are feeling is new or strange for most of us.

 

[seeking_His_truth]

Definatly do not bottle up your feelings, let them out. It's ok to have anger. Just express it in non destructive ways like painting, writing, singing, running exercising Screaming... Try to Get help, I know it didn't work out the when you went to the police, but maybe you can go to a trusted friend or Pastor. Telling others (i've only told like 3 people and people online myself) has really helped me heal and will do alot for moving on. I'll keep you in my prayers. God Bless You.