I need every single opinion please!

[lost9933]

Hello,
first I'm sorry for my bad english !
I'm passing through a weird thing, first of all I'm a male 22 years old
I don't have manly features and i don't have confidence in my masculinity at all.. my relationship with my brothers and my family is so weak, me and my brother rarely talks together and most times we keep fighting and I don't like to tell my parents anything that happens with me during my days.

the weird thing is that I started going to bible study group "males and females"
and at first I was very shy because I don't know anyone there except my cousin
by time passed the group made a 1 week trip and I went with them
I began making friendships with most people in the group and I was very happy
but there was a man who was funny and he was always with his cousin I knew him before the trip but i've never talked to him he's older than me he's 28 I don't know but I liked him when I talked to him and since i have a talent he always was encouraging me
he's so manly and huge and hairy but he has a good look

so my problem that i always wanted to talk with him and I was wishing that he will accept being a friend of me although I look like a small kid with no manly features and a weak personality but everyone was impressed by my talent

so after we got back from the trip we became real friends me and him and his cousin and we hang out together and they were caring for me and i really considered them like my big brothers but I don't know that man i have weird feelings toward him I like when he starts conversation with me on facebook or when he calls me and I feel something incomplete if he didn't attend one day to the meeting of the bible study I like to be a very good friend to him

but I suddenly become anxious about this kind of feelings , are they romantic !! or just a very emotional friendship !! I really doesn't get aroused sexually when i be with him and i don't have any desire to have sex with him but just something emotional at first I was getting shy when I talk to him !! I don't know I don't feel myself a real man besides him he's so manly with all his behaviours and I sometimes I get wondering how he accepted to be a close friend to me and I look like a kid, I'm actually loved by everyone there because I have a good personality and I'm friend with everyone there
but i really don't know what to do I got depressed .. what if these feelings are romantic ! i don't want to be like that I really want to be a good friend to him and consider him like my brother but these love feelings I want them to dissapear , why <Staf Edit> I keep caring about him ! ok i'm his friend but I find him a special person and I'm worried that I will loose him as a friend

what should I do, I sometimes think of stop talking to him and forget him and consider him like some strangers in the group but of course he will get upset and surprised why did I leave him because he also considers me as a very close friend and always tell me his secrets and I also tell him my secrets.

is that because I'm not manly and I need a man to care for me, girls always need someone to care for them not the opposite thats why i don't feel this feeling with any girl ..
or is that because I don't have a good brother and I really find him as a real brother or is that a romantic love !! with no sexual desire, the problem is that i'm so confused and some bad thoughts began to attact me "what if i imagine having sex together maybe I will enjoy" and i always try to get rid of these stupid and annoying thoughts but my OCD keeps them in my mind

please help what should I doooooooo

 

[Johnnz]

You have a lot going on inside of you. Probably getting someone sensible who you can talk to over a period of time woud help clarify many of the issues for you.

But begin with the reality that Jesus does not see you as some wimpish, less than likeable person.

John
NZ

 

[Jppeace]

What's up buddy, great news you are more then a conqueror in all things, which means exactly what it says, also you are created perfect in the image of Jesus Christ, we are the clay abba father is the potter that is God, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, you are dealing with spiritual warfare, Everything works for the greater good of God, when unclean thoughts come in, when you have time study Galatians 55:22-26 these are the fruits of the holy spirit who is are leader an guide in to all truth, are comforter, are sealer, a witness , talk to the holy spirit, pray an fast God will give you answers, stay blessed man keep up the great work Jesus is proud of you, peace be with you be of good courage an don't let your heart be troubled

 

[Darkhorse]

When you are young, and especially if you are a virgin, it's easy for strong feelings of friendship to seem like sexual feelings, whether the friend is your sex or the opposite.

This is probably what you are dealing with. Try building your friendship with this man, but realize that the "sexual" feelings are a deception; you are just feeling non-sexual affection for your friend.

 

[lost9933]

When you are young, and especially if you are a virgin, it's easy for strong feelings of friendship to seem like sexual feelings, whether the friend is your sex or the opposite.

This is probably what you are dealing with. Try building your friendship with this man, but realize that the "sexual" feelings are a deception; you are just feeling non-sexual affection for your friend.

It's more like romantic feelings not sexual !
I think I have some homosexual tendencies and thats what makes me so depressed

 

[dude99]

Well I do suffer homosexual tendencies but even so I look at fellow man as a brother. If I were you I would focus on building up the friendship with others in the group.

Anyway if you are after the perfect man then Jesus Christ is the one and only perfect man. He has always loved you even though he is aware of your struggles and issues and is out there with his arms to reach out to you. All you need to do is respond to his love. He can ultimately satisfy you in even more ways than any other man can provide.