- Aug 27, 2016
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Trigger warning because I feel I need to provide some backstory. Sorry it's so long...
I literally just joined this website because I can hardly function anymore and I desperately need advice.
Ok so my sister and I were physically abused by my mother when we were younger. I don't remember when it started or ended. I only know that it was AT LEAST while I was 12-14. I have so many memory issues, it's not even funny.
She doesn't physically abuse us anymore, but she's still emotionally abusive to us and our father.
I feel bad for her, because she was abused terribly by her mother as a child and she's quite obviously a very damaged person.
After the worst of the abuse, I went for a couple years brushing it off, because I thought that a) it was not that bad and b) I was a bad person so everything that happened to me was all my fault. ( I don't believe either of those statements anymore. )
Then, earlier this year I got badly triggered. I was having- an emotional flashback? A panic attack? Both? Then I started having all these intrusive thoughts and memories, and eventually I let myself acknowledge that I've been abused.
Now, I'm seeing a Christian therapist, but... listen. I still live with my mom. My dad wants our family to stay together, despite everything that's been revealed in the past few months. I can't tell my therapist everything or it's going to rip my family apart.
I suspect I have C-PTSD. Not in the mood to list them right now, but I exhibit a lot of the symptoms, and like I mentioned, I'm having a ton of trouble functioning.
I KNOW that if I get diagnosed, and she finds out about it, she'll have another dramatic meltdown where she threatens to leave us and crap. She might actually follow through with it. I don't know. All I know is that she will raise hell if I'm diagnosed with anything, let alone a form of PTSD.
But, at the same time, I really need help. But I can't get it without my parents being informed! It's going to be almost a year before I turn 18, and honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay caught up in school for another year while I'm like this.
Again, I'm so sorry this was so long. I just don't know what do. I'm asking for advice, but it's fine if you don't have any. I'd be grateful if y'all just prayed for me tbh <3
I literally just joined this website because I can hardly function anymore and I desperately need advice.
Ok so my sister and I were physically abused by my mother when we were younger. I don't remember when it started or ended. I only know that it was AT LEAST while I was 12-14. I have so many memory issues, it's not even funny.
She doesn't physically abuse us anymore, but she's still emotionally abusive to us and our father.
I feel bad for her, because she was abused terribly by her mother as a child and she's quite obviously a very damaged person.
After the worst of the abuse, I went for a couple years brushing it off, because I thought that a) it was not that bad and b) I was a bad person so everything that happened to me was all my fault. ( I don't believe either of those statements anymore. )
Then, earlier this year I got badly triggered. I was having- an emotional flashback? A panic attack? Both? Then I started having all these intrusive thoughts and memories, and eventually I let myself acknowledge that I've been abused.
Now, I'm seeing a Christian therapist, but... listen. I still live with my mom. My dad wants our family to stay together, despite everything that's been revealed in the past few months. I can't tell my therapist everything or it's going to rip my family apart.
I suspect I have C-PTSD. Not in the mood to list them right now, but I exhibit a lot of the symptoms, and like I mentioned, I'm having a ton of trouble functioning.
I KNOW that if I get diagnosed, and she finds out about it, she'll have another dramatic meltdown where she threatens to leave us and crap. She might actually follow through with it. I don't know. All I know is that she will raise hell if I'm diagnosed with anything, let alone a form of PTSD.
But, at the same time, I really need help. But I can't get it without my parents being informed! It's going to be almost a year before I turn 18, and honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay caught up in school for another year while I'm like this.
Again, I'm so sorry this was so long. I just don't know what do. I'm asking for advice, but it's fine if you don't have any. I'd be grateful if y'all just prayed for me tbh <3