Hey everyone..I'm new here...I've been a Christian my whole life. I attend a Christian college, and am having issues with a girl. We have just started talking a few weeks ago. We've talked a lot, hung out quite a bit, and have gotten close. I really like her, but she is not ready for a relationship. She says she needs to get closer to God before she can handle a relationship. At the same time, she says she thinks about me a lot, and thinks about me and her together. We have a lot in common, we flirt, we get along great, and I know if we got together we'd be great together. Also, neither of us want to be with someone unless we think it has marriage potential. However, it's driving me nuts because I really am falling for her. I don't mind waiting but it's hard because I'm so impatient. She told me today she wants us to cool it down a little because she can't handle this right now. Then she proceeds to send me 10 messages on AIM. It's very confusing. What do you all think about all this? Any advice and thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
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I need advice about a relationship
- Thread starter RainWave23
- Start date
nhzname
Work in progress ... Phil. 1:6
Yes, I agree with Keil. The conflict within her could be that she really likes you, but she's worrying that it may prove to be a distraction or hinderance in her relationship with God. And what better woman for any man than one that wants God first in her life?! ~ Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ~ I would suggest seeking the Lord on this and trusting Him to make it happen. Maybe he's trying to work on your impatience by allowing just this kind on situation.KeilCoppes said:
If you can be her friend without the pressure of 'going together', this will only show her how much you respect her wishes, and that you like her enough to still want to be around. Definite brownie points, there!
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By no means pressure her or suffocate her. You should get the book "Love must be Tough" and read it. It'll help you deal with this. She is asking for space and if you respond by suffocating her or trying to get even closer she's going to draw farther away from you. Let her be. Be cool and collective in your thoughts and words to her. Let the Lord handle the rest. Remember you're still young (as I am too) and you don't want to get too involved with someone who isn't ready to commit. Trust me I know, my wife and I are going through something like this. It hurts so bad, but pray and GET THAT BOOK.
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fluffy_rainbow
I've Got a Secret ;-)
I think the reason this is so difficult is because she was far too candid for a girl who isn't ready for a relationship. As singles, the most loving thing we can do for our brothers and sisters in Christ is guard their hearts. In my opinion, for what it's worth, I think her saying "I am not ready for a relationship, but I think about you and me being together all the time" was a very unnecessary move, one that may have caused you to have deeper feelings than the Lord is ready for you to have right now for this girl. I think that's sort of leading someone on. Just pray about it. Ask for God's patience and then let her go. It isn't fair to either one of you to hang onto something that may never happen, and it's obvious both of you are very eager about this and are talking like a couple looking to get married when, in reality, you're moving in opposite directions from one another.
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K
KeilCoppes
Guest
All other comments aside, this is a solid principle. Sometimes acting in love is to give space, sometimes to give them up to the Lord, sometimes to be there and simply be a friend with the future open. What drives this, though, is not what we hope for, but what will truly be best for them.fluffy_rainbow said:
And to do this well, we have to manage our own hearts. Getting down to brass tacks with ourselves so we can truly love can be a hard thing.
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