i need a healing

[reignbowchile]

I kn0 thozz is lonqq but plzz read it anywey...I really need help



I'm going 2 be 15 on valentines day. I had slightt ocd tendencyzz since I wazz little but they got worse n the 7th grade. I went thru alott tht yr n started having anxiet attakzz....then even tho my ocd symptomzz realy hadn't worsened yet I started becoming depressed @ the thought tht somthing cud b rong with me. I told my mom that I think I have ocd and she generally understandimg but during thizz tym she waz depressed 2 and didn't believe becuzi had no visible symptomzz. But n my mind I knew I hadd it.. she caught me lookinq it up on the cpu n got mad and made me get off. Then 1 day I went. 2 a church afer I hadd been praying 4 peace 4 a long tym.. tht day jesus touched my heart and I felt btter. But aftet a while I started having these horrible n blaphemous thoughtzz n I didn't kn0 wut 2 d0. I prayed n prayed 4 4giveness. Then eventually I started lerning 2 cope with them even th0 I still hadd them.. n they still cum frum tym 2 tym. I'm @ the point now tht I'm sikk ov dealing wit it. I still pray but 4 different reazonz...not 4 4giveness bwecuzz I believe n my heart tht god understandzz my situation n tht I really can't control them....I pray 2 b cure. I ask god 2 heal my mindd but I haven't gotten a reply. Or mayb I did without kn0wing...thie thingg tht makemakez me miserable is the thought of having 2 live lyk thiz 4ever...becuzz I herd ppl sey tht 1ce once u have religious ocd u probly will 4ever. But I can't accept tht because I have faith tht god can and will healme....I want 2 b saved...n I want 2 hear frum him...I want 2 b cured 1ce and 4 all..do u think its possible...anywey leaze pray 4 me.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Reignbowchile,
I'm so glad you've joined us.
It seems that you are extremely bright in recogizing that the struggles that you have with the thoughts are in no way your fault but rather due to the very painful disorder of OCD. That's amazing!
Just like you, I've had OCD and panic disorder from a very young age. I'm nearly 52 years old. I still have these anxiety disorders but I've learned to live with them in such a way that they don't manage me. I manage them. Also although I too have asked the Lord to remove them, He hasn't. But what He's taught me in and through them has been of eternal value. They have been a tool to cause me to rely on Him instead of my own strength. They've kept my pride in check. And trust me, my pride is something that needs checking nearly every day.
You know what else. I"ve had many, many years where the disorder wasn't torturing me but was just a small nuisance. I've lived with many days of incredible joy, peace and calm. Yet every flare of the disorder is excruciatingly painful. Most of all the lesson that I've learned from living with this affliction is that it is purposeful. God is not limited by it. God does not use me in spite of it as if He needs to step around it or remove it in order to appropriate me as a channel. Instead He has used me because of it. "Has the arm of the Lord grown short?"
Paul wanted his thorn of affliction removed too. But God taught Him that his affliction was purposeful. Paul ends up "glorying IN his affliction in order that the power of Christ would rest more fully upon him. For when I am weak He is strong."
God can and does completely heal afflictions and we certainly should ask Him to. But sometimes, as in my case, He chooses rather to teach me about His power in and through them.
I've had a wonderful life even with OCD, so don't despair, but ask the Lord to help you to rely on His strength.
I'm praying for you.
Mitzi

I kn0 thozz is lonqq but plzz read it anywey...I really need help



I'm going 2 be 15 on valentines day. I had slightt ocd tendencyzz since I wazz little but they got worse n the 7th grade. I went thru alott tht yr n started having anxiet attakzz....then even tho my ocd symptomzz realy hadn't worsened yet I started becoming depressed @ the thought tht somthing cud b rong with me. I told my mom that I think I have ocd and she generally understandimg but during thizz tym she waz depressed 2 and didn't believe becuzi had no visible symptomzz. But n my mind I knew I hadd it.. she caught me lookinq it up on the cpu n got mad and made me get off. Then 1 day I went. 2 a church afer I hadd been praying 4 peace 4 a long tym.. tht day jesus touched my heart and I felt btter. But aftet a while I started having these horrible n blaphemous thoughtzz n I didn't kn0 wut 2 d0. I prayed n prayed 4 4giveness. Then eventually I started lerning 2 cope with them even th0 I still hadd them.. n they still cum frum tym 2 tym. I'm @ the point now tht I'm sikk ov dealing wit it. I still pray but 4 different reazonz...not 4 4giveness bwecuzz I believe n my heart tht god understandzz my situation n tht I really can't control them....I pray 2 b cure. I ask god 2 heal my mindd but I haven't gotten a reply. Or mayb I did without kn0wing...thie thingg tht makemakez me miserable is the thought of having 2 live lyk thiz 4ever...becuzz I herd ppl sey tht 1ce once u have religious ocd u probly will 4ever. But I can't accept tht because I have faith tht god can and will healme....I want 2 b saved...n I want 2 hear frum him...I want 2 b cured 1ce and 4 all..do u think its possible...anywey leaze pray 4 me.

 

[kaykay9.0]

I think you should keep believing that God can and will heal you. I think it's always good to have faith for something. But at the same time, as Grace mentioned, we do need to recognize that sometimes we don't get the specific answer we are looking for for whatever reasons. I think it's also possible that God may want to heal through a process...such as counseling and yes, maybe even meds. Personally, I am still believing God for a healing from OCD for myself and everyone on this forum in whatever way and manner and timing He chooses to answer that. Hope that makes sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I believe in having positive faith for any healing but at the end of the day, we do have to recognize God's sovereignty and sometimes His ways and timing. Hope it doesn't sound like I'm talking out of 2 sides of my mouth!

 

[MandyG]

reignbowchile,
Welcome to the forum! There are so many wonderful christian brothers & sisters on here that also struggle with OCD. They have a lot of wisdom to share. I agree with both Grace & KayKay that you should keep asking and believing for healing. Like it was already said, Our timing is not the Lord's timing. I too have prayed the same things that you pray for: to be completely healed of OCD. Each day the Lord is faithful to give me the grace to get through the day. Through reading God's word, prayer, counseling, meds, and support from family & CF friends I am improving, Praise Jesus! Like Kay Kay said, there are happy days & there days you have to reach out for Jesus' nail scared hand and trust Him to see you through. I know this is hard, but keep up the good fight and don't give up!!
I will be praying for you my friend!
-Mandy
p.s. You should get a hold of some books that focus on God's awsome grace. There is an online book by Chuck Smith that helped me out a lot: "Why Grace Changes Everything". If you google it, it should come up.
p.s.s. Your typing is so unique! I will have to try to learn how you do it!!