I realize that i"m putting my neck out on the chopping block so please search your heart before you crucify me I am trying to be honest. I know that i messed up... Married for 3 and half years new her for almost 6. we had no children together but she had 2 from her last marriage. she did not work and did not want to so i was the sole provider, i was working alot to pay the bills, no child support from ex. In august of 2007 she started going out with her friends to get out of the house and i am not the type to put chains on my spouse. She met someone and then it was on... On aug. 12 I left out looking for her and at a local restaurant there she was talking to a couple of guys and i heard one of them ask if she was going to call him or not. I confronted the situation and she said that it was just a couple of drunk guys, and she was drunk at the time so when we got back home it really became heated and she hit me in the face with her fist dislocating my jaw, i had to go to the er to have it put back in place. she had slapped me several other times in the marriage, i did not file a report, she cryed the whole time when i was in the hospital asking me for forgiveness. I had no problem forgiving her, but the affair that happened after killed me. On dec.30 after months of trying to talk to her it came to ahead. I finally caught her and knowing that she was and her lying about it i snapped and i slapped her and yes she did not hesitate to have me locked up, and i deserved it.That evening got really ugly the worst day of my life, I know that i have to forgive myself but this is about to kill me, I"m really having a hard time dealing with what i did. I have grown closer to God through this but this will live with me forever and i cannot shake it. after about 3 months now my wife has finally started calling me and i got to apologize for what happened she says that she forgives me but i know that she is still really hurt by it. She is now caring the children over to her boyfriends house ever weekend and staying with him, they only live 15 minutes from each other. Then during the week she wants to meet with me talk about amess, I really do not want a divorce, i know that it looks bad but we did have a wonderful relaionship up until we tryed to have kids and she had 3 miscarriages. I know it would be easier to pack up and go on with our lives, but I"m not sure really what is right anymore. she even told me that i was a wonderful husband and father to her kids, but i am devasted by the affair and by what i did, the only way it would work would be by a mircle of God. Yes i am seeking counseling and yes it is for sure that she did have an affair I do not want to go into her affair. I have also been visiting a web site called marriage builders and there is alot of positive things in there... very regretful spouse.
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
I"m here for help
- Thread starter hdsn
- Start date
Hi, I have read your post and I feel it all to well. The question I would have would be this, have you truly forgave her? Truly forgiving her means that you won,t forget the sin but you will never bring up the issue again. Like I said, time will heal your hurt and God will heal your heart,but to truly forgive you have to forgive as God did, it is erased from your slate and the healing must begin.Is it easy (nope)but whoever said life was easy.
Upvote
0
Hi, I read your post and I would ask you this, Have you truly forgave your wife? In God when we seek forgiveness he wipes our slate clean. It is considered false guilt in Gods eyes if we ask for forgiveness and we continue to dwell on the sin. When you forgive your wife the sin is forgiven but the memory of the incident will still be in your mind which will fad over time but when we forgive the incident it should not be brought up and dwelled on again, that is how we can start reconciling. Is it easy to not want to bring it up again (nope) but wemust stay firm in that forgiveness to actually show her you do forgive her,same for her in forgiving you.
Upvote
0
Minty
S.O.P.H.I.E
- Aug 6, 2007
- 8,381
- 722
- 49
- Faith
- Pagan
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- UK-Greens
If your wife wants her marriage to work then you should BOTH be in counselling together, marriage guidance counselling.
You say that she forgave you for one slap, but she did so much worse to you and you forgave it all.
You sound like a great man and I really hope that you can both work this out. If your wife is telling the truth about wanting her marriage to work, then why does she still have a boyfriend?
I have to say, and it may be harsh, but with all the things that she's done to you, she should be begging YOU for forgiveness, not the other way around.
I hope that you can find a way through this very tough time and I shall be praying for you all.
Minty. xx
Upvote
0
Orchids
never grow up
- Nov 9, 2004
- 7,307
- 446
- Faith
- Eastern Orthodox
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
We are all pressured past our endurance from time to time. If she wants to restore the marriage, then it would be possible if you are willing to that, too. If it's only a one-sided wish, it will most likely fail. Best wishes to you both. Praying about this. 
Upvote
0
CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN
My dad died 1/12/2023. I'm still devastated.
- Jul 1, 2007
- 18,282
- 5,709
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Seeker
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
Upvote
0
Similar threads
