I Lost My Virginity Before I Was Saved?

[dayhiker]

To me it wasn't important weather my wife was a virgin or not when I got married. So I only think its important when ones partner is concern about that.

 

[steve_bakr]

I have a similar issue. I am planning to approach it sometime when the topic lends a somewhat opportunity (he might be disappointed if I interrupted a discussion on cars!) and show my regrets and I'm-not-as-good-as-you attitude. He usually softens a lot about anything when he hears regret in my voice.
I'm not worried, I think it will be forgiven.

I think you are right in waiting for the right moment, but you committed no sin against your boyfriend (you didn't even know him). So, I don't think it is a matter of him forgiving you; rather, of him accepting you for who you are.

 

[lindseynicole12]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies. You've all really made me feel better about the situation. I am now relatively confident that our conversation will go well.

 

[Avniel]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies. You've all really made me feel better about the situation. I am now relatively confident that our conversation will go well.

dont forget to pray it adds confidence

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Obviously holding off until marriage is a good thing. But in the end life goes on and if you lost it, you lost it. No reason to not think your not worthy of marriage. An if a guy judges you by your virginity then its their loss. Pretty sure they aren't perfect either. Sex is still special when married whether you were a virgin or not. Its bonding and wonderful and nothing can change that.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Well, he's going to have to take you as he finds you and like it I'm afraid; It's not your fault he's deciding to stay a virgin until after marriage.

This isn't an idealistic world, and If he can't handle the fact that you have a sexual history, then he's better off walking the plank. You don't need a husband who's going to be all moody and whiny every time something isn't as he'd like it to be.

Would you still be a virgin in an ideal world? Personally? I can't see what bloody difference it makes! The fact is it's done, you've learnt from past mistakes, and are living a better life for it now, having learnt from those mistakes. If you were still making those mistakes in 2014 - having gone through your experiences, then I'd be calling you a bit of an idiot.

If I was the guy, I'd be far too focused on the here and now; any questions I have in my mind about your previous partners are none of my business, but I'd be more than open to the possibility that a young woman in the twenty first century has had a sexual relationship or two.

 

[LinkH]

It's not your fault he's deciding to stay a virgin until after marriage.

That comment just 'aint right.

It's not my fault your not a serial killer.

 

[lindseynicole12]

Update: I mentioned it in a roundabout way. I told him I had made some mistakes in my life before Christ that made me feel unworthy of him. And he told me that it didn't matter what I had done in my life before, he would love me exactly as I was. He said he wouldn't let a bit of it change his opinion of me. And folks, if that's not Christ-like love, I'm not sure what is.

Shout out to ReesePiece23 for making me laugh so hard.

Thanks again everyone!!

 

[LinkH]

lindseynicole12,
That sounds very promising. I still think you ought to tell him explicitly that you are not a virgin just so he'll be clear on it before he proposes, if he chooses, too, and so there won't be any surprises down the road.

 

[contango]

(never mind, wandered into an old thread)

 

[ReesePiece23]

It's not my fault your not a serial killer.

No it's not, so try not to be too hard on yourself, okay?

 

[Cardiffgurl21]

I'd repent to God and move on from your past at least you got saved at 18 some people live whole lives of immorality before being saved. We have a good God that forgives all sins we repent. I lived a much worse life than you prior to becoming a christian, slept with older men in my early teens and got pregnant by my husband at 16 two years before we were married. I would be honest with your boyfriend he may well admire you for turning your life around. If he becomes angry with for being honest about your life you are better off without him.

Some Christians place too much on dogma and purity, it is important put people are so much more than that. I don't love my husband's sexual history and I doubt he is a fan of mine but history doesn't define the entire person. If he does have questions I wouldn't give too many details. When I met my husbands pretty ex I asked more than I wanted to know and you can erase it for your mind.


Good luck with everything and all you can do is be honest and not be too hard on yourself. God Bless

 

[lindseynicole12]

Update: I told him last night and he demonstrated incredible Christ-like love and forgiveness toward me. He was very understanding and comforting as I cried and grieved in front of him. We prayed together and he told me that this doesn't change the way he feels and he still intends to marry me.

Thanks everyone for all your help!

 

[Cardiffgurl21]

That is wonderful sounds like you have a wonderful guy hope you have a very happy marriage xxx

 

[dayhiker]

That's great to hear that you are being loved that way. Great guy clearly.

 

[Adrianmaddox]

We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. The important thing is that you repent and strive to do better. As Christians, no of us are perfect and to pretend that we are is not truthful and we are to live in truth.