I lost it HELP!!!

[mimi4him]

ok, i keep thinking I wouldnt be so angry and bitter if i could take it out on him , Am I right or wrong?
I think I need answers to atleast the past 6 yrs of our 26 yr marriage .
Why he didnt leave when he realized he didnt love me , the kids were old enough then 18 and 22. Why keep staying he used excuse because of kids when they were younger but they were old enough then.
Why did he not wait till we had divorce to move in with her? Why didnt he file for divorce?
I did talk to him this morning to try and get some answers and all he could say is why are you persecuting me for the past . I said If your feeling that way its because of your own guilt its not because of me wanting answers . He then said he just want s to forget the past and get on with his life and that I need to do the same and that i need to find someone . I said I cant im still married , Im not like that ,. which made him say your persecuting me again. It ended bad I was screaming I hope she cheats on you and you her and you end up with a broken heart like me. He was screaming something back at me and i just hung up.
WHy cant i get past the bitterness and anger ???
Was I wrong in thinking if i showed him my hurt and anger I would get past it cuz it would be out?
please pray for me I am so sad and mad at myself right now .
thanks all
carol

 

[okiemommy26]

No you was not wrong in what you do, showing him your anger. I know it is hard not to yell at them and say all this stuff. What I did is pray God calms my heart and that is what I am praying for you. I understand why you want answers. I would want answers too. He might not ever give them to you because he does not know those answers or just does not care and just cares about himself. Not wanting to feel guilty over it is probably another reason why he does not want to talk about it. I am praying for you.

 

[kanga22]

I really don't believe that it will make you feel better to take your anger out on him. You said it made you feel mad and sad about yourself. You need to treat yourself better than that.

When you have a calm mood, you need to come up with a plan to avoid doing that again. Can you find a friend to act as your break-up buddy? Call this person instead of calling your hubby when you feel the need to vent. Try to start some kind of exercise, hobby or fun activity. Do this everyday to work off some of the negative energy. The best revenge will be to show your husband what a huge mistake he made. Show him the fantastic wife he blew-it with.

I feel for you. Hopefully you have people in your life to help when you need it most. Try not to waste your precious time thinking about your husband. It's over, you owe it to yourself to move on. I know it's hard and what he did is really sh***y, but you deserve better. You are awesome. Treat yourself well. God Bless.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I know that I've been on the other side, and I 've seen my wife blow up from my stupidity. I can only imagine how you are hurting. Will pray for you ...

 

[Autumnleaf]

You are not wrong. You should let it out and let it go. Anger only hurts the people who are angry. Relax and let it go. Take stock of what you have to be grateful for and pick a direction to move on and go. Don't look back.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I know I'm late in responding...
It's ok to feel the hurt and anger you do. If you have access to counseling I say seek it out. You will self destruct on the path you're currently on. You definitely sound like you understand your feelings.
I'm in a similar situation and have had to seek counseling (church counseling has never worked for us unfortunately) to keep from destroying myself. It's a battle waged everyday.

 

[madison1101]

I know I'm late in responding...
It's ok to feel the hurt and anger you do. If you have access to counseling I say seek it out. You will self destruct on the path you're currently on. You definitely sound like you understand your feelings.
I'm in a similar situation and have had to seek counseling (church counseling has never worked for us unfortunately) to keep from destroying myself. It's a battle waged everyday.

Excellent advice. Anger in itself is not wrong. How we express it can either hurt us or help us. Scripture says "Be angry but sin not."

Therapy or counseling can teach proper ways to expressing anger, and also allow a forum to discuss what is troubling a person. I recommend it for anyone going through a divorce to help that person learn about themselves and their contributions to a troubled marriage, as well as help heal from the hurts of rejection and betrayal.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Sometimes it is better out than in. It may be right or wrong to express it, but express it we must, sometimes.