I just don't know

[PatientlyWaiting14]

Hi All,
I am so glad I found this site because I sometimes feel as if no one understands me, even my mother. Long story short, my father is a pastor and I have been a member of his church (even sing in the choir) every since he became pastor. I have three other siblings and they come to church when they feel like it, or whenever it's convenient for them.

My dilemma? I am TIRED!! I am a grown married woman with a child and I just feel like I am always stressed out. Our choir is sort of small so when I dont come some choir members question me as to why I didnt show up. Even my own mother sometimes give me attitude about not coming. I just sometimes regret that I have been so faithful, that now people "expect" me to do things that frankly I dont feel like doing.

I also hate knowing "everything" that goes on in the church. I really would like to just sit back and enjoy the service every once in a while. FOr this reason, I have been contemplating leaving our family church and just join somewhere else. The ONLY reason I have not done so is that I know for a fact that this would break my father's heart and my mother would give me **** about it! I just feel stuck! I just need advice, encouraging words, anything except criticism!
Thanks

 

[1watchman]

It might be an honest thing to do, to try to share with your parents that you would like to see what other Christian gatherings are like, so you can have a better understanding of what God thinks of all the various interpretations. At your age you should feel some freedom of choice. At least, if they don't respond well and being supportive, you can feel you were proper to share your thoughts. When you visit elsewhere some Sunday they would then not be shocked about hearing of that.