I just don't get it...

[Boss_BlueAngels]

... tonight was a rather rough night for my girlfriend (of six years) and I. It's sort of a recurring issue, although it hasn't shown its ugly head for a couple of years. I just don't know what to do... nor do I understand what is wrong. My sisters husband is the head coach of a local boys high school basketball team and today marked a major game as it could influence whether they go to state or not. The team has not gone to state in 48 years as they have been plagued with poor motivation, no energy, and a general lack of teamwork. My brother in law has fought tooth and nail for the last eight year he's been working with the team and has finally been able to get them to the level they're at now. It's impacted the entire town! Anyway, I asked my gf to come to the game tonight, as well as some previous major games, and she is always in a terrible mood. She gets really short with my sister and I, and at times is downright rude! It really hurt our feelings, and after the last game we spoke about this issue... I thought we were over it, but after tonight, apparently not. She seems to butt heads with my sister a lot, but I'm not even sure why. Shes gone through a lot over the last 18 months, and seems to just push away anyone that cares with all her energy.

I don't expect anyone here to understand, as the situation is really MUCH more complicated than I can begin to even explain on here, but I just need to do a bit of venting.

I just need someone to tell me it'll work out, one way or another. For the first time I'm nearly to the point of taking a brake from it all for a while. If she cannot get along with my family, I really don't see any way things could work out. I love my family and they are always there for me... and her! Even she says she loves them more than her own, but then days like today happen and she treats them all like crud. I can only make so many excuses for her behavior. I hate having to brief my parents/family on what subjects to bring up that particular day.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

I don't know your whole situation and can't really comment specifically; however, I will say this - unless your love and commitment to her comes BEFORE your love for your family of origin, you will have problems. If she has emotional problems that make it difficult to share you with what sounds like a close-knit family, then I would think that you need to truly examine your feelings for her and the depth of your committment.

 

[alfrodull]

Maybe she hates basketball, and maybe she doesn't like your sister. Unless basketball is your life, then neither should be a huge issue.

 

[explodingboy]

perhaps, she is jealous that your sister is married, and you two haven't got married yet..
sort of a jealousy thing (going purely by the whim that this happens when you go to watch your sisters husband coach.)

Theirs my stab in the dark anyway. 6yrs does seem along time to not get married in to me.

 

[rppearso]

Are you a blue angel pilot? Thoes quotes could not be more accurate its to bad the entire military does not follow thoes quotes. I am a pilot working on trying to buy an extra 300 maybe we could PM sometime. If you are a blue angel you could easily find someone else why are you putting yourself through this?

... tonight was a rather rough night for my girlfriend (of six years) and I. It's sort of a recurring issue, although it hasn't shown its ugly head for a couple of years. I just don't know what to do... nor do I understand what is wrong. My sisters husband is the head coach of a local boys high school basketball team and today marked a major game as it could influence whether they go to state or not. The team has not gone to state in 48 years as they have been plagued with poor motivation, no energy, and a general lack of teamwork. My brother in law has fought tooth and nail for the last eight year he's been working with the team and has finally been able to get them to the level they're at now. It's impacted the entire town! Anyway, I asked my gf to come to the game tonight, as well as some previous major games, and she is always in a terrible mood. She gets really short with my sister and I, and at times is downright rude! It really hurt our feelings, and after the last game we spoke about this issue... I thought we were over it, but after tonight, apparently not. She seems to butt heads with my sister a lot, but I'm not even sure why. Shes gone through a lot over the last 18 months, and seems to just push away anyone that cares with all her energy.

I don't expect anyone here to understand, as the situation is really MUCH more complicated than I can begin to even explain on here, but I just need to do a bit of venting.

I just need someone to tell me it'll work out, one way or another. For the first time I'm nearly to the point of taking a brake from it all for a while. If she cannot get along with my family, I really don't see any way things could work out. I love my family and they are always there for me... and her! Even she says she loves them more than her own, but then days like today happen and she treats them all like crud. I can only make so many excuses for her behavior. I hate having to brief my parents/family on what subjects to bring up that particular day.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

First of all, thank you all for the advice, it was really helpful. It did help me to put things into perspective as I was quite a **** that night as well. We had a good 2 and a half hour talk about things and cleared a lot of things up. We fessed up to the mistakes we made, and now have some things to work on. One of the strongest points of our relationship is our communication, and yesterday that completely broke down and we failed to even attempt to communicate. The stress of the, "big game," my sisters bad attitude, and my lack of wanting to "deal with it" contributed to the situation.

The problem is also that my sister and my girlfriend have VERY similar personalities... EXTREMELY sensative. So when you have the two together alone, it's like putting pure sodium in a bathtub.... sit back and watch the sparks fly! It also doesn't help when its a very stressful situation.

Anyway, all will be well... I think I will have to just lock those two up in a padded room for a few hours. haha

Thank you again.