I have no assurance of salvation

[Androxine Vortex]

I have been dealing with lust and depression for over ten years now. There were many points in my life were my depression was borderline suicidal even after salvation. I've always had a strong pessimistic, almost nihilistic view on life. It's hard dealing with suicidal thoughts when the promise of being with the Lord after death forever is known to you.

Lust has always been my biggest besetting sin. I constantly give in to porn addiction and it ruined my last relationship. I can read verses that explain about eternal security and that Christ has paid for all our sins but my repeated failures every day succumbing to this again and again makes me question my salvation and I have no assurance. This leads me to feeling depressed then desperate for some sort of happiness I return back to lust. I feel like people can react to depression in different ways and for me I choose isolation, which I know is terrible. But I let feelings of guilt and shame make me shy away from the Lord. I will stop praying and reading the Bible, I will feel so ashamed it is a great difficulty just coming to church because I feel like such a hypocrite to set foot in there.

How can I have assurance of salvation if the Bible warns us about "you will know them by their fruits"? I understand that as Christians we can never be sinless on this side of eternity. Our sins are forgiven but we still live in a sinful, fleshly body. But I worry constantly about the state of my soul and am scarred if I am truly a child of God or just deceived. My heart is so ensnared by sin right now despite pleading before God for forgiveness through the Gospel, through Jesus Christ.

What can I do? And can you please pray over me? My name is Andrew.

 

[Greg Merrill]

In comparison to living the "Victorious Christian life" getting saved is easy. Salvation happens in a moment, the VCL is a moment by moment experience that comes and goes as one obeys and trusts in the Lord for practical, daily living throughout their life. Verses for salvation are in Jn 3:16; Jn 1:12; Ro 3:10; 3:23; 5:8; 6:23; 10:9-13, etc.
Verses for assurance are John 5:24; 1 John 5:12-13.
Verses for VCL are Romans 6:11-14; Phi 4:13; and many more. It is one thing to know some verses, it is another to live them out by experience. One can be saved, and still never have learned how to daily conquer the lusts of the flesh, Galatians 5:16 and Galatians 5:25. One must take practical steps to win out over lust by starving the flesh and feeding the spirit. Like physical conditioning, spiritual conditioning takes planning and work. It isn't easy at first. It takes time to grow in strength, and grow a little at a time. It takes determination and commitment. It is easier to do when working with a partner or group (team), and having a coach that knows what their doing. One way to contribute to starving the flesh is to get rid of all you can that stimulates it. If you don't want to get rid of the TV and Internet, make sure you train yourself to not hunt for erotic material, and when it comes up by chance switch websites or channels.
Realize these things are out to hurt you by pleasing the fallen flesh. Don't even dabble with it. While starving it,
feed the spirit. Get as much of the Word of God coming into you as you can. Memorize key verses and use them against the temptations that come up. Like in the physical, it doesn't matter how much soap and exercise equipment you have if you don't use it.

 

[Halbhh]

I have been dealing with lust and depression for over ten years now. There were many points in my life were my depression was borderline suicidal even after salvation. I've always had a strong pessimistic, almost nihilistic view on life. It's hard dealing with suicidal thoughts when the promise of being with the Lord after death forever is known to you.

Lust has always been my biggest besetting sin. I constantly give in to porn addiction and it ruined my last relationship. I can read verses that explain about eternal security and that Christ has paid for all our sins but my repeated failures every day succumbing to this again and again makes me question my salvation and I have no assurance. This leads me to feeling depressed then desperate for some sort of happiness I return back to lust. I feel like people can react to depression in different ways and for me I choose isolation, which I know is terrible. But I let feelings of guilt and shame make me shy away from the Lord. I will stop praying and reading the Bible, I will feel so ashamed it is a great difficulty just coming to church because I feel like such a hypocrite to set foot in there.

How can I have assurance of salvation if the Bible warns us about "you will know them by their fruits"? I understand that as Christians we can never be sinless on this side of eternity. Our sins are forgiven but we still live in a sinful, fleshly body. But I worry constantly about the state of my soul and am scarred if I am truly a child of God or just deceived. My heart is so ensnared by sin right now despite pleading before God for forgiveness through the Gospel, through Jesus Christ.

What can I do? And can you please pray over me? My name is Andrew.

Confess directly to God our Father, 1 John chapter 1 (read this and be helped), and begin praying every day with faith the prayer Christ gave you and me to pray in Matthew chapter 6, with total belief these things Christ said to pray for will be given. And also specifically ask God to remove lust from you if needed, and do as Christ says: do whatever it takes to avoid the temptation, Matthew chapter 5, meaning even if needed buying control software for example to control web surfing. Whatever is needed.

I find reading His words in the 4 gospels extremely effective to aid me, John chapter 15, and they are so wonderful, delightful to hear too.

 

[Jeshu]

I have been dealing with lust and depression for over ten years now. There were many points in my life were my depression was borderline suicidal even after salvation. I've always had a strong pessimistic, almost nihilistic view on life. It's hard dealing with suicidal thoughts when the promise of being with the Lord after death forever is known to you.

Lust has always been my biggest besetting sin. I constantly give in to porn addiction and it ruined my last relationship. I can read verses that explain about eternal security and that Christ has paid for all our sins but my repeated failures every day succumbing to this again and again makes me question my salvation and I have no assurance. This leads me to feeling depressed then desperate for some sort of happiness I return back to lust. I feel like people can react to depression in different ways and for me I choose isolation, which I know is terrible. But I let feelings of guilt and shame make me shy away from the Lord. I will stop praying and reading the Bible, I will feel so ashamed it is a great difficulty just coming to church because I feel like such a hypocrite to set foot in there.

How can I have assurance of salvation if the Bible warns us about "you will know them by their fruits"? I understand that as Christians we can never be sinless on this side of eternity. Our sins are forgiven but we still live in a sinful, fleshly body. But I worry constantly about the state of my soul and am scarred if I am truly a child of God or just deceived. My heart is so ensnared by sin right now despite pleading before God for forgiveness through the Gospel, through Jesus Christ.

What can I do? And can you please pray over me? My name is Andrew.

Hi Andrew sorry to hear you struggle with this horrible sin in your life, i know it is horrible because i struggled also a lot with lust and depression in the past, and for years thought i was doomed to die a lustful person suicidally depressed.

However a break came into my life when i let Jesus into my sinful life and i began to share myself in my sinful self with Him honestly and completely. (something i had never done before to scared to face Him.) Oh the grace that came my way brother and the love that began to grow in these bad places in my heart bit by bit brought me victory over lust and set me completely free from it.

Sure it took many years and i had to faithfully keep sharing my sinful self with Him. The battle that followed slowly tore me into two parts - the goats in me (who perished) - who like always keep sinning - and the sheep in me - (who rule me faithfully now, ) where i repented within myself and Christ changed me through His love resurrecting me to newness of life.

Please don't get me wrong it is a hard battle to no longer believe the accuser in your guilty conscience but that is the battle brother to hold onto the grace Christ offers through His sacrifice on the cross and for you can fall 490 times a day and still receive forgiveness if you dare to have faith in Christ.

At the peak of my battle with lust lust became incredibly sinful. For the more i shared myself with Christ in my sheep, the more the goats became sinful and lustful for i never tried to stop myself in my own strength. In the end it was like a nightmare but very easy to do away with when the time came. literally sick to death of lust in my fallen self while it just died out while where i found freedom from lust in my life i became fruitful and multiplied the good life, leaving me thankfully humble before Him.

In my life the lust is finally gone and i know i'm saved and never have to fear Him a lustful person again, now lust has become loathsome in my life, i want nothing to do with it any more ever.

So be of good courage brother for Jesus cannot only set you free from lust He can also confirm your salvation by setting you free from it. The trick is to not try and do it in your own power, for as you know by now that didn't work, and to eat from His PURE flesh (deeds) and drink from His PURE blood (Spirit) that is what have communion with Jesus is all about.

There is no need to be a slave when the Master can buy you free always remember that when you struggle with lust brother.

Peace.

(Reflecting Hebrews 4:1-13)

Raptured

I thought I been no good all my life
I was stuck with cold loveless strife
much in me had little faith in God's grace
as my loveless ways had kept me from His Face.

In my bad life I was untrue and insincere
weak and hopelessly overcome by my fear
I didn't believe God would love me as well
always believing what the inner liars tell.

Oh these massive hailstones pounding me
considering how bad I had turned out to be
fire and brimstone following my inner despair
for of loving truth I hadn't taken any care.

Where is your God my tormentors jeered
the bottomless pit opening as they sneered
my good life stolen from me as I fell down
my godlessness now with misery me to drown!

Unbearable was the agony as I met sinners fate
flames of torment untrue and loveless sin berate
self hate upping the temperature so very high
gnashing of teeth and wailing my constant cry

And so I languish in torment pondering my fate
still wondering how come I had been to late
doubting unbelief and unforgiven sin my misery
As I watched myself turn completely ungodly.

My Hell was an Endless Torturous Night.
that comes to all with bad life inside
where one's untrue and loveless deeds
now constant fire and brimstone reaps.

After many years The Truth came finally down to me
for only God's Grace could reach into my misery
and so my bad life the goats in charge could keep
As Jesus came and collected me in all my sheep.

Awakened to the truth I arose from the dead
God's breath of loving truth entering me instead
a fast army arose as Ezekiel prophesied to my soul
His blinding light directing me to my new goal.

And so I flew up to meet Him in the wink of an eye
Heart piercing wails from the rule of the lie
raging Hell poured down on where I had been
Father' holy wrath burning evil so very mean.

Jesus beaming smile betrayed no harm
will for wrong simply died in His loving charm
and so He also baptized me with holy fire
His loving truth tending my every hearts desire.

All the holy ones Jesus brought from above
rebuilding my heart in His Kingdom of love
teaching me The Way to do things right
forever denying evil wrong ruling me inside.

 

[longwait]

Try contacting Faithful Counseling.

 

[bcbsr]

I have been dealing with lust and depression for over ten years now. There were many points in my life were my depression was borderline suicidal even after salvation. I've always had a strong pessimistic, almost nihilistic view on life. It's hard dealing with suicidal thoughts when the promise of being with the Lord after death forever is known to you.

Lust has always been my biggest besetting sin. I constantly give in to porn addiction and it ruined my last relationship. I can read verses that explain about eternal security and that Christ has paid for all our sins but my repeated failures every day succumbing to this again and again makes me question my salvation and I have no assurance. This leads me to feeling depressed then desperate for some sort of happiness I return back to lust. I feel like people can react to depression in different ways and for me I choose isolation, which I know is terrible. But I let feelings of guilt and shame make me shy away from the Lord. I will stop praying and reading the Bible, I will feel so ashamed it is a great difficulty just coming to church because I feel like such a hypocrite to set foot in there.

How can I have assurance of salvation if the Bible warns us about "you will know them by their fruits"? I understand that as Christians we can never be sinless on this side of eternity. Our sins are forgiven but we still live in a sinful, fleshly body. But I worry constantly about the state of my soul and am scarred if I am truly a child of God or just deceived. My heart is so ensnared by sin right now despite pleading before God for forgiveness through the Gospel, through Jesus Christ.

What can I do? And can you please pray over me? My name is Andrew.

A troubled conscience in light of sin is a sign of a healthy conscience. Woe be to those who don't feel guilt after sinning. Your writing reminds me of Hebrews 12:5 "you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you" Some take the Lord's disciple too lightly and some take it too seriously. I think you might be the latter. But it is legitimate to test ourselves to see whether we are in the faith. "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you— unless, of course, you fail the test?" 2Cor 13:5

When it comes to assurance, though once saved, always saved (1John 2:19), yet the feeling of assurance of one's salvation is proportional to the degree to one walks as a child of God should.

1John 3:
18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.
20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.

 

[JoeP222w]

I have been dealing with lust and depression for over ten years now. There were many points in my life were my depression was borderline suicidal even after salvation. I've always had a strong pessimistic, almost nihilistic view on life. It's hard dealing with suicidal thoughts when the promise of being with the Lord after death forever is known to you.

Lust has always been my biggest besetting sin. I constantly give in to porn addiction and it ruined my last relationship. I can read verses that explain about eternal security and that Christ has paid for all our sins but my repeated failures every day succumbing to this again and again makes me question my salvation and I have no assurance. This leads me to feeling depressed then desperate for some sort of happiness I return back to lust. I feel like people can react to depression in different ways and for me I choose isolation, which I know is terrible. But I let feelings of guilt and shame make me shy away from the Lord. I will stop praying and reading the Bible, I will feel so ashamed it is a great difficulty just coming to church because I feel like such a hypocrite to set foot in there.

How can I have assurance of salvation if the Bible warns us about "you will know them by their fruits"? I understand that as Christians we can never be sinless on this side of eternity. Our sins are forgiven but we still live in a sinful, fleshly body. But I worry constantly about the state of my soul and am scarred if I am truly a child of God or just deceived. My heart is so ensnared by sin right now despite pleading before God for forgiveness through the Gospel, through Jesus Christ.

What can I do? And can you please pray over me? My name is Andrew.

Recommend the audio CD by Todd Friel, "Slaying the Dragon".

Slaying the Dragon (slaying-the-dragon)

 

[Southernscotty]

Father I pray for this man today that the axe is laid to the root of all bondages that are not of You and may You break and and all strongholds of lust that have formed here. I pray that these be broken and cast away from him as far as the east is from the west in Jesus all powerful and righteous name Amen.

 

[Greg J.]

I just wrote a post most of which can double as a response to this thread, but it is informational (theological), rather than something more appropriate for this forum.

 

[Basil the Great]

Andrew - It seems to me that God will judge us by looking at our entire life, not just one aspect of our life. The best way to deal with this is to concentrate on helping the less fortunate and doing acts of kindness and mercy. You could volunteer at a local hospital or at a food pantry or a soup kitchen or offer to help elderly residents in the neighborhood. Such a plan should give you some sense of peace when it comes to your salvation.

Personally, I disagree with many here. I do not believe that we can ever be totally sure of our salvation, though I think we can be reasonably certain. Regardless, Jesus emphasized helping the poor and less fortunate in a major way, so it might be a wise idea if we all heeded his advice.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I have been asking the Lord to remove these temptations from me and if they do come that Christ would provide a way to escape. I almost gave in the other day but I have been doing well. I talked with a close friend of mine who goes to church with me and he says that it is a good sign that I feel remorse over my sin. He explained that its the Holy Spirit convicting you. It would be bad if I could sin on and on and feel nothing or not care.

Thank you for those that prayed for me I really do appreciate it.

 

[sold4christ25]

Hi Andrew sorry to hear you struggle with this horrible sin in your life, i know it is horrible because i struggled also a lot with lust and depression in the past, and for years thought i was doomed to die a lustful person suicidally depressed.

However a break came into my life when i let Jesus into my sinful life and i began to share myself in my sinful self with Him honestly and completely. (something i had never done before to scared to face Him.) Oh the grace that came my way brother and the love that began to grow in these bad places in my heart bit by bit brought me victory over lust and set me completely free from it.

Sure it took many years and i had to faithfully keep sharing my sinful self with Him. The battle that followed slowly tore me into two parts - the goats in me (who perished) - who like always keep sinning - and the sheep in me - (who rule me faithfully now, ) where i repented within myself and Christ changed me through His love resurrecting me to newness of life.

Please don't get me wrong it is a hard battle to no longer believe the accuser in your guilty conscience but that is the battle brother to hold onto the grace Christ offers through His sacrifice on the cross and for you can fall 490 times a day and still receive forgiveness if you dare to have faith in Christ.

At the peak of my battle with lust lust became incredibly sinful. For the more i shared myself with Christ in my sheep, the more the goats became sinful and lustful for i never tried to stop myself in my own strength. In the end it was like a nightmare but very easy to do away with when the time came. literally sick to death of lust in my fallen self while it just died out while where i found freedom from lust in my life i became fruitful and multiplied the good life, leaving me thankfully humble before Him.

In my life the lust is finally gone and i know i'm saved and never have to fear Him a lustful person again, now lust has become loathsome in my life, i want nothing to do with it any more ever.

So be of good courage brother for Jesus cannot only set you free from lust He can also confirm your salvation by setting you free from it. The trick is to not try and do it in your own power, for as you know by now that didn't work, and to eat from His PURE flesh (deeds) and drink from His PURE blood (Spirit) that is what have communion with Jesus is all about.

There is no need to be a slave when the Master can buy you free always remember that when you struggle with lust brother.

Peace.

(Reflecting Hebrews 4:1-13)

Raptured

I thought I been no good all my life
I was stuck with cold loveless strife
much in me had little faith in God's grace
as my loveless ways had kept me from His Face.

In my bad life I was untrue and insincere
weak and hopelessly overcome by my fear
I didn't believe God would love me as well
always believing what the inner liars tell.

Oh these massive hailstones pounding me
considering how bad I had turned out to be
fire and brimstone following my inner despair
for of loving truth I hadn't taken any care.

Where is your God my tormentors jeered
the bottomless pit opening as they sneered
my good life stolen from me as I fell down
my godlessness now with misery me to drown!

Unbearable was the agony as I met sinners fate
flames of torment untrue and loveless sin berate
self hate upping the temperature so very high
gnashing of teeth and wailing my constant cry

And so I languish in torment pondering my fate
still wondering how come I had been to late
doubting unbelief and unforgiven sin my misery
As I watched myself turn completely ungodly.

My Hell was an Endless Torturous Night.
that comes to all with bad life inside
where one's untrue and loveless deeds
now constant fire and brimstone reaps.

After many years The Truth came finally down to me
for only God's Grace could reach into my misery
and so my bad life the goats in charge could keep
As Jesus came and collected me in all my sheep.

Awakened to the truth I arose from the dead
God's breath of loving truth entering me instead
a fast army arose as Ezekiel prophesied to my soul
His blinding light directing me to my new goal.

And so I flew up to meet Him in the wink of an eye
Heart piercing wails from the rule of the lie
raging Hell poured down on where I had been
Father' holy wrath burning evil so very mean.

Jesus beaming smile betrayed no harm
will for wrong simply died in His loving charm
and so He also baptized me with holy fire
His loving truth tending my every hearts desire.

All the holy ones Jesus brought from above
rebuilding my heart in His Kingdom of love
teaching me The Way to do things right
forever denying evil wrong ruling me inside.

Hi Jeshu,

I'm new to these forums and I have same struggle and thought process as OP. Trying to find some reassurance. I'm just curious, did you go through giving in to sin willfully even after being saved? Were you wrestling with addiction even after knowing scriptures that warned against continually living like this etc?

Thanks in advance.

Solomon

 

[Jeshu]

Hi Jeshu,

I'm new to these forums and I have same struggle and thought process as OP. Trying to find some reassurance. I'm just curious, did you go through giving in to sin willfully even after being saved? Were you wrestling with addiction even after knowing scriptures that warned against continually living like this etc?

Thanks in advance.

Solomon

i have wrestled with sin all my Christian live Solomon and found that salvation is not easily understood as being once and for all. i found that i need to be saved from my sins every day again, that this is an ongoing process, where i learn to love Jesus more than a life of sin.

Sure yes very much sin has been done away with in my life. Not because the accuser demanded that i did this or that to stop my sin but by bringing myself in my sinful self to Him and learning to die to self and come alive in Him in that part of my life. This is a delicate process where we are creamed off our selves in sin and set apart ex-sinners, while we perish in the rest of our sinfulness. We have both sheep and goats living inside of us. In wilful sin we are never saved, but we are always saved from our wilful sins, if that makes any sense. (The Sheep fear they are goats, but in our real goats we don't care about God at all.)

i found that fighting sin in our own ability doesn't bring humility but pride and demand for more of such actions. In the end we are often no more than the dictators of our own lives and persecute and oppress wrong self living with in us, rather than finding freedom from sin. i found that when we do that then we are never saved but perish in our arrogance and wilful rebellion to love and His ways.

The real issue is do we willingly die to sin because we love Jesus more than sin or do we continue in sin and deny Jesus the right to save us in such part of ourselves? When we walk in love for Jesus then we hate sin and everything that has to do with it.

i live life completely free if my heart is ensnared by sin then i go to Jesus in that part of myself where i find myself ensnared, and share my sinful loves and desires with Jesus and ask Him to save me from them and how i seem to love wrong more in that self than right and to please unite my heart in Him and in His loving truth.

To eat His grace does the trick - time and again. See if found that many of my sins were the results of loveless life living in me. i did and treated myself lovelessly in my sin, Jesus hates it when we do that, for love is His secret weapon. When we internalise His love into our sinful selves then our sinful selves begin to produce true love instead of crave after untrue loves, that is the secret of God's love.

So i eat grace as my daily diet and let His love fight my sin and sinfulness and live a completely free life just like He promised me.

i hope i answered your question.


A poem i once wrote describing the battle for Rulership.


From Unfaithful To Faithful Love.

If my love is not one with Yours Lord?
What will happen then?
Will i die Your loving truth?
or exist in You an ex sinner,
only nullification in wrong?

Many questions!

While You ask....
..do you love Me true?
also
when I am not as you will?

My honest answer;

It is so hard to die Lord
so hard to die to the lies ruling
when they captivate my love
making me impure and unholy
enslaved to lusting after lies.

These desires are not from You
but actively living within me
always after my good life
no matter what i do
killing my love for You!

Wanting me to do sinful things
things You say not to do
killing the truth of your love within
enslaving me to their pleasures
and robbing my good life away!

My desperate plea!

How i long for You Lord
You to be my every desire
not sin to rule my flesh
but my flesh serving You
me glorying in Your name!

i ask You to wash me clean
anything not from You gone
Your loving truth to rule
and your Spirit internalising
Your eternal truth Alive in me.